OM Advice in here :)

There wasn't anything that i wish we'd had - yeah, sure, there were plenty of good ideas from other people's weddings & wedding plans on the run up to our day, but ours was our day simply for being about us and the choices we made. I think it's just a simple case of what do i want our wedding day to be, can we afford it, & if not how can we get or have it within budget.

We kept things pretty simple & straight forward, which came in great for getting ready for the day & for then picking stuff up/clearing away. Main things we were worried about were the actual venues delivering what we'd actually ordered & paid for, we didn't doubt the booking, just more that it all worked out on the day. We didn't have any issues, luckily. There isn't anything i felt i'd wasted my money on (we did our wedding day for between £3000 & £4000, so we did have to make decisions during the planning on what we considered necessary & what wasn't), in fact, keeping things simple meant that what was there had an impact. Offering all guests (evening especially) a favour would've been nice, but it's not a necessary & we didn't have the budget for it. I don't regret not doing it. Having a photo booth thing would've been great fun, but not within our budget, but we still had a fabulous time regardless!

The only thing that i would say that i would've changed if i could've done, was to have had everything in the one venue. Due to budget issues, we opted for a registry office ceremony in our local town hall, then a sit down wedding breakfast at a local hotel for the 18 all day wedding guests (included us 2) & then held an evening reception in the gorgeous function room of a local(ish) sports club for 150 evening guests. It meant we had all the important people there, but within budget. Timings were fine, so everything slotted into place, but it would've been good if we'd have had the budget to have had a full day in one place. We made the decision that getting married was more important than having the full day in one venue so went with that. We had a a wonderful day & i wouldn't change it for the world, but it just took a little more organisation dealing with the timings & different venues.

I did at one point wish i'd had the funds available to book a car to take me to the town hall for the ceremony & then for the meal afterwards, but now i'm pleased i didn't. My sister paid a lot of money for a car to take her from home to her all in one place venue, which she said was nice, but due to her husband and all the guests being in the ceremony room on her arrival, no on saw her arrive in it. There are some nice photos of her in and out of the car, but she has felt it was a bit of a waste of money really.

Im glad we didnt spend hundreds on a cake. We had 'Pearl' from M&S at £195. We saw it for 5mins while we cut it, then next time we saw it it a been cut up and served with the buffet!

Also, Im glad we only hired our TOG for 3 hours instead of the whole day. Im looking forward to seeing the picutures of us during the ceremony, but I actually found the photo taking session afterwards quite boring. I just wanted to enjoy seeing my friends & family, and of course some time with my husband!

I do regret being so optimistic about the height of the heels on my shoes! I took them off at about 7 (ceremony was at 2:30 but Id been 'wearing them in' since 12 oops) and left them off for the rest of the night.

Lastly, I spent aaaggeee putting together a cute smart outfit for our little 10 month old. but on the day, it was so hot, he didnt wear the socks shoes or cravat!

We stressed for ages over music and I don't remember hearing it, and I don't think anyone took much notice of it either... We also stressed for ages over the cake. In the end, we finally gave up and opted for a M&S, which the venue stacked for us. It looked great, tasted great and was hassle free.

I hated the first dance. We weren't bothered about it in the run up to the wedding but when we were called up it was so uncomfortable and embarrassing! I wish we had chosen a shorter track and perhaps one we could have danced to rather than shuffled to.

Finally I wish we'd banned red wine as I full glass of it ended up on my dress. :/

This time, nothing at all, BUT it was my second marriage.

First time round, we spent a fortune on all the trimmings - stately home venue, ££££ on flowers, I arrived in a horse drawn 18th century coach etc. I fretted over table plans, favours and colour co-ordination. We scrimped on photos (used a friend who was a pro but not a wedding pro) and splurged on food and drink and entertainment. I did my own make-up thinking this was a good idea- it wasn't - I spent just as much money buying the stuff but had no idea how to do it to look best in photos. I also spent ages making my own invitations which just caused more stress. Generally the feel of the day was very very formal, beautiful but more out of the pages of Hello than laid back and fun.

This time, complete turnaround. We eloped for the actual wedding so the focus was on our union and the ceremony. Yes, I had a long dress and we splurged on the ring and photos, but the ring and photos are all you have after the day other than memories. I didn't bother with a veil, kept the hair simple, and had pro stylists.

We had a UK reception, and kept that very very simple. Cake was from the lowest bidder, venue was our village hall. We bought booze from Tesco in advance when on offer, to supplement the on site bar, and the food was a hog roast (that went down far far better than the 5 course gourmet stuff from my first marriage!). We had one table set aside for us and our parents. OH's brothers and my best mate, and their partners were on a second table. Apart from that it was a free for all - sit where you like! I had let my friend, who chose her own MOH dress, choose the colour scheme. It wasn't what I'd have chosen, but it looked fine and saved me having to think about it. Not everything matched completely, but no-one cared. My flowers looked amazing but were very low cost from a friend of Mum's. Background music was via a laptop playlist and main entertainment was a local ceilidh band. And the feedback we had from friends and family was brilliant!

Generally, I would spend on:

Ring, Photos, Bridal beauty, and maybe outfits

I would save on:

Flowers, cake, entertainment, venue

I wouldn't bother at all with:

Favours, guest book, postbox/wishing well, OTT decorations, table plans, placenames

This is really useful, thanks I think we are going to do away with cake and have an alternative to serve as the evening buffet - we are not having extra night guests so don;t think anyone will e very hungry anyway! Double saving!

@BBB, Wohoo!! I'm on track with things you recommend spending on & we're doing cheaper options for cake, flowers etc. Makes me feel better knowing that actually you don't have to be 100% co-ordinated and spend huge £££ to have a fabulous day!!

Yayy Vintage84 ? I certainly learnt my lesson this time round. No-one really cares - they are there to see you and have fun, and as long as they are fed and watered somehow they will be happy. I always say that first time round I focused on the wedding, not the marriage. This time it's the marriage that's key, so only the "forever things" had lots of money spent.

We spent on the catering - but went for simple high quality food (that would appeal to the fussier members of our families) rather than the more complicated food that gets more expensive in large quantities. Also went fancy on the canapes because they're not "essential" food so it didn't matter if people didn't fancy them. We massively overcatered for the evening, partly because I guessed wrong on the quote figures (we had a potential evening list of 150+ so quoted on 90 which was well over as several "gannets" didn't come in the end)

We had the choir and bells at the church. Would drop bells before choir as the choir really helped lead the singing (depends on choir quality - worth mooching along to a service to check before booking) (church wedding).

The major thing I'm glad we didn't bother with was going off to do a post wedding photo shoot. Just did the family poses as necessary then went off to reception for drinks etc. Really enjoyed the drinks reception mingling, don't care about too many couple photos and don't really miss them now (2 months later). We originally planned to do a joint rock the dress shoot later but practicalities kicked in (booking and weather!) so we'll probably try and DIY some shots on our local moor instead (excuse to wear dress again!)

Spent a fair amount on flowers, and enough on hair/makeup as I'm pants at doing it myself and know my limits. Scrimped on cake (I made it as I like baking and had simple tastes), rings (perfect ring appeared in H Samuel for my shaped engagement ring and OH only wanted a tungsten/titanium ring as he can't wear it for work).

Massively glad we had a ceilidh band as it's not so generational. If you plan to dance be aware the dress will make it difficult and hot, but still enjoyable!

Wouldn't have done anything different, even with a much bigger budget!

I'm glad we didn't do individual favours. We put a few mints on the table but these were ignored. I wish I hadn't spent hours agonising over what to have for the evening buffet, it was hardly touched (although I wish I'd had some.)

I would save on invite inserts and RSVP cards (weren't read or used), pianist during wedding breakfast (nobody listened or noticed so CD would have done) or bothering with making a wedding website (but it was free to do).

I bought individual favours for people I knew well enough to know hobbies/likes/dislikes etc, which went down really well so that is money well spent imo.

One piece of advice - I would eat something yourself before the ceremony - I had a sudden need for something on the way back from hair/makeup and even then felt a bit light headed mid way through the ceremony! If I hadn't I would have been really wobbly!!! Didn't eat much in the evening though but did manage canapes (yum!!!) and the wedding breakfast.

Love this thread. I always like to hear first hand from OM's their advice + what they suggest or recommend. I've already had one 'friend' who's not actually married tell me I HAVE to serve my guests canape's otherwise they'll be starving after my 2pm ceremony. I have a while to think but its made me worry I'll have hungry guests moaning about the kack of food. I'm all up for canape's but my venue will charge over £500 for the minimum number of canape's we can have which is a lot of money!

If people think I should serve canape's then I'll find the money somehow, it was more this girl's attitude when she said it like if she says have to have them then HAVE to have them.

What do you guys think? I'll take your advice on board whatever is suggested!

I think with a 2pm ceremony you don't need them. Ours was at 2 and we assumed most people would have enough common sense to eat something before they came. We did have our food at 5:30 though, if you weren't planning on eating til much later you might need something to keep them going.

Canapes aren't essential - they were for us because (a) we like them and it's our day and (b) we could be fancy with them where we couldn't for the main food because of fussy people. Not sure they all got eaten (we had a very short drinks reception of 1 hour as I didn't want a full on photo shoot) but worth it. Remember you don't need to cater for everyone in the evening if your venue allows that - we massively overcatered at about 80% of numbers.

Thank you, glad I'm not the only one thinkibg they're not essentual. Ican't remember exact timings but think wedding brekfast will be served appros 4.30 - 5 and I aso thought most people would assume to have lunch before.

Thanks again!

There isn't really anything that I wish I'd had, because to me our day was fantastic as it was.

As for what we didn't need, it wasn't extravagant anyway, we opted for a cheap cake made by a friend, it looked simple but lovely and no-one knew any better as it tasted good, so I'm glad we didn't spend hundreds on that.

Also, we spent ages deciding on blooming favours (lovely chocolates made by someone that tasted super) but by the end of the night (midnight ish) there were still about 15 favours left (only had 56 day guest!) so they weren't really appreciated by guests. Perhaps we could have done away with favours, we didn't even eat ours in the end.

We did have one extravagance, we opted to hire chair covers, and while it sounds shallow, I walked into the reception room and saw everything set up brilliantly and thought 'wow', the impression it made on me and others was worth what it cost us.

I can't think of anything else I'd have wanted, sorry, I've rambled more than I've helped, whoops.

We had similar timings to you lottie, and did serve canapes around 2.30-3ish. Our thinking was that our venue was a good distance from most of our guests so many of them would have had to have a v v early lunch, or may have not had chance at all with getting ready and travelling. We served little prawn things and also some plainer bruschettas and everyone was really glad of a little something! Just something to bear in mind if your guests have a distance to come.

I spent quite a lot of time on music- we had a band in the evening, and decided to skip the DJ and just put the ipod through the PA system for between sets and after the band had finished. I spent hours and hours putting together a playlist that would get people dancing. However on the night, once the band finished I couldn't find the manager at the pub to switch over to the PA system, and when I did he had no idea how to work it and spent half and hour faffing with it. By the time we got it on, the band had started to pack up and I then realised there was nowhere for them to pack up but on the dancefloor, so no-one could get up and dance anyway (we only had quite a small room as it was not a big group). I was a bit gutted about that and should really have foreseen it!

It also made me wish there had been someone else who could have taken charge of things for me- I hadn't imagined I'd be running round the pub looking for the manager. That I guess was the downside of not having a 'proper' wedding venue and going a bit more DIY with the reception.

We didn't bother with favours and no-one seemed remotely bothered. We did however use games for our table centrpieces in the evening which the guests took home with them (connect 4, operation, hungry hippos- stuff we played with as kids). They went down very well!

I had really wanted a videographer in the run-up to the wedding but just didn't have the money. I thought I'd really regret this, but nearly 4 months on I've not been bothered at all. Our photos were so good that I don't feel like I missed out, and someone did record the ceremony (very badly) on a camcorder which we have on disc and have watched a couple of times.

I'm really glad we didn't have a professional videographer. I would have hated ahving someone follow us around with a camera. But we did ask my brother to set up our own video camera to record the ceremony. It took a lot of fiddling round with video editting equipment by my hubby afterwards but it turned out really well.

The one thing I wouldn't have done if I'd have known was the video messaging area that we set up at the reception. Not many people actually used it. Although it was right at the other end of a really long hall to the band the music was still really loud. This meant that the messages we do have are really difficult to understand. We didn't think about this beforehand.

I guess one thing is that I wasn't impressed with the photographer when we were doing all the group photos. he wasnt very good at getting people organised and in the right places so it took ages. But I don't know how you would know this without seeing him work and we hadn't been to any other weddings locally to have seen any photographers work. But the photos did turn out really well so I guess thats what counts.

I don't think there's anything else I would have changed.

I am really glad we did have favours. We had handmade things, I made lavender filled hearts with a ribbon printed with our wedding date on for the women and hubby made lego brick cufflinks for the men. So many people commented how much they loved them and only a couple of each were left behind at the end of the night. I wish I could have made them for all of the evening guests too but it would have taken so long to do that it would have been impossible. We also did activity bags for the kids which really kept them busy and the parents loved them too.

Fab thread - really, really helpful.

And absolutely love this!

I've just realised the huge amount of typos in my last post. sorry, I've got a new phone that can barely use and tend to check hitched more on my mobile.

I'll bare in mind the small selection of canapes as people may get hungry. or maybe ask if my venue can provide the crisps + nuts they usually do if you go for a drink there at least. its just the £500 odd that scares me for canapes I may not need.

Maybe l'll c how the budget is nearer the time + add them on if we have the monet when we have to finalise details.

Thanks for your advice!

Exactly this - I think Operation and Buckaroo would be hilarious after a few bevvies! Thanks Nicky, an idea I may well be borrowing if that's OK. My old work had an Xmas party with giant jenga and connect 4, but what really stood out to me was a Lego station. It kept lots of the big kids happy so I think a Lego table may well be on the cards for our evening reception, with its very own bride and groom, naturally

Hi Lottie,

Did they tell you that you have to spend £500 on canapes? We said we want canapes, but I got the impression we just chose which ones we wanted from the menu to serve as they were all priced individually? there were a few cheaper options on there, items for about £1.50 each i think, so even if you just ordered enough for everyone to have a couple of these each it should be cheaper than £500, depending on how many guests you're having. x

Hi,

A set price unfortunately. The main meals are the only thing they change the price according to your choices. I can't remember exactly the price but its £X per person for a selection of 3 canapes or more money if u want more choice.

I'm glad I didn't bother with a guest book. We had a fingerprint tree instead where people wrote their names around their fingerprint.

I'm glad I didn't bother with a DJ playlist, everyone asked for what they wanted anyway. I'm also glad we didn't say No to cheese/party songs. We had such a laugh dancing to them! Who cares if they are super cheesy when people are having such a good time!?

I'm glad I didn't both with a brand new dress, it got absolutely trashed having a whale of a time.

I'm glad we didn't bother with a big ceremony, I remember every moment of it.

In hindsight, around 6-7 bubble guns would have been plenty. We didn't need 20 (one for each guest). However, the guests LOVED shooting each other with them, as did the children in the evening, so they weren't a complete waste!

I love my Mrs Oz converse now, but I forgot to put them on in the evening as my wedding shoes were quite comfortable.

I'm glad I didn't bother with bathroom baskets, the toilets were beautiful in the end!

I'm also glad I didn't bother with a sweet buffet. I don't like sweets anyway! We had a crepe van for late night snacks which was much more original and filling.

I am glad I DID bother with the 'dancing shoes' ballerina slippers. All 30 pairs got taken and were much appreciated for dancing to the ceilidh.

I am glad we did decide to get personalised M&Ms as favours, people loved them, as did we!

I would still spend months sticking gems to my shoes, I loved them. I am a nutter.

I can't think of any more, my breakfast is ready now!

I'm glad you explained what a finger print tree is, I did wonder! sounds really nice ?

I'm glad so much was homemade, that we had lots of pretty details and that our table decorations were personalised and given to people as thankyou gifts. I'm also glad I put so much thought into activity bags for my nephews. Not only did they love them but my SIL loved that I had made such an effort.

I'm glad we did a photo family tree - it was a great talking point and nice for our friends to know who was who in the family - lovely seeing our two families come together as one big family in a visual way.

I'm glad we got such fantastic photographers - our pictures are beautiful. But I'm also glad we made our own photo album - we saved so much money and we were able to personalise our parents' albums too.

I'm glad we didn't bother with save the dates, favours or toiletry baskets. But I loved our giant garden games which broke the ice. I'm glad we had a band as everyone was dancing.

I'm glad we did things our way and politely ignored 'advise' and 'stressy worries' from well meaning family and friends.

I'd change nothing abour our day - it was awesome and a year on still makes me grin like a loon when I think about it.

I can't think of anything I would change about the day, however, I'm glad i had lots of homemade things, but wish I had made a slightly smaller cake and also hadn't bothered to make Cupcakes to go with it, ( still got loads of cake to get rid of)!!!

I wish I hadn't bothered with the large flower arrangements we had on the buffet table, as they had to be put on the floor in the end to make enough room for the buffet and just ended up getting bashed and trashed!!

I'm glad I made up the refresh baskets, but wish that some guests had respected them and other guests who used them!

Otherwise I am glad that we did everything our way!!

My first reply as an OM!

Loved every minute of our wedding day.

Glad we didn't spend on a car (£35 for 8 seater executive cab - although my dress did get some muck on it from the car I think!)

Glad we did so much ourselves - mum made all dresses, made own brooch bouquet and foam flower BM bouquets

Glad we didn't spend on flowers - Husband's mum grew them all and arranged them in vases provided by venue.

Glad we didn't bother we centrepieces - just used modern candleabras provided by venue

Glad we hired a band - expensive but so worth it as everyone had so much fun and commented on how fab they were

Glad I made personalised wine glass charms as favours. Everyone loved them, only 3 left behind (OH's male relatives) and they worked out less than 20p each

Glad we didn't bother with evening buffet but loved my pick n mix

So glad we hired a brilliant phototgrapher and that we had them do a photobooth as everyone had so much fun with it

Hope someone might find that helpful when considering what to spend on and what to save!!

If you have a guest book, don't just leave it on a table for your guests to go to. Get an Usher or someone to take it around the tables. You might end up with an empty one otherwise (see this quite a lot).

So happy I started this thread. It's so useful to find out what not to waste money on whether other people tell you that you HAVE to have it!