OMG H has been offered a job in Colorado - don't know how I feel...

Do it like a shot. doesnt have to be forever. plus, whilst family are important, you cant really put your life on hold because of what-ifs. colorado is fab too.

I'd be on the first plane out of here! It's a fabulous opportunity and who knows what it could lead to for you too? And as you say, you already know you want to come back so that makes the decision a bit easier doesn't it?

We're hoping H is offered a post in Australia in the next 12-18 months and I can't wait!

So I say go! GO GO GO!!

I think you're right Nick and it's so scary (the fact that we should go not that you're right ?). I'm just feeling so overwhelmed and dreading telling my mum (how pathetic does that sound?!?). I suppose though that there's nothing stopping me splitting my time between the UK and US until I get a job.

I would go. It sounds like a fab opportunity and a lovely place to go to.

I am very close to my family too, but still did 2 years in Australia - and loved it.

I honestly think time apart would be VERY hard indeed. If you're not currently working what have you to lose? If you do get offered a job in the meantime you can re-think if it comes to that, but meanwhile what about looking into what there might be for you over there?

Well, we've been trying to move to Minneapolis for months now, so of course my natural instinct is to say go for it ?

By all means, look into the practical side of stuff before making a decision - what will you do with your house, job prospects (monster.com will give you an idea), and whether the company will fly you over to have a look round. Of course it's scary, but it's also potentially a one in a lifetime chance too.

Thanks to everyone. I think we will have to go for it but it is going to take some pretty big mental adjustments to get used to the idea!

Taffie - I would love it if we could go for a look round first but it's a university appointment so I doubt they'll pay for that ? He's not even supposed to get any help with relocation costs but probably will "unofficially". This is one of the things he's going to need to sort out before formally accepting.

My family and friends are the most important things in my life, but as the job is for such a short time I would go. Two years will really fly by, it would be a great experience and it sounds like you will be in a position to visit home often.

That's a shame. Any chance you could fund your own visit out there to get a feel for the place, and for the type of accommodation you would be renting?

Also, I know you've already mentioned that he'll get a visa meaning you can work, but I'd definitely get the type confirmed before saying yes. Unless you secretly do want to be a desperate housewife of course ?

I think you should go for it.

Beware though, I came over just for 18 months and had no intention of staying longer.... 8 years later, here I am..?

Colorado is fab. Do it.

? I can see how that could happen but I am absolutely certain that we wouldn't stay, I couldn't be away from my family on a permanent basis. I already miss them like crazy and we're only 250 miles away!

I think you should go too.

as you know, i completely understand what academia is like (?), and tbh it could be ages before you both get jobs in a place you are happy with that's also near to friends and family. colorado sounds like lots of fun (more fun than kentucky us or townsville aus, both of which i vetoed in the last few years ?) and it'll fly by.

oh, and you can be my lululemon importer ?. we'll make a packet, you won't need to work.

FIS - apparently someone was selling lululemon at the yoga show. madam bought various things. i ll ask her if she got a card if you wish

Not a chance sadly, our finances are in very bad shape with me not working.

The visa has already been confirmed, he would get J1 visa and I would get a J2, so that part is ok.

Thanks to everyone who's replied. I'm too slow too keep up with all the replies but I do appreciate your encouragement so much. I suppose another thing that worries me is that I'm so down at the moment because I'm not working (I am doing work, I'm doing my own research and writing papers from my PhD results, I'm just not in paid employment) and I'm worried that if I don't get a job out there that I'm going to be really miserable. My job prospects out there aren't great so it's a real concern for me that I'll end up miserable, depressed and in a foreign country with no friends. I have considered taking a career break but I'm not sure this is a very good idea and H's salary isn't really high enough to seriously consider it.

Argh!!!

really?! waaaah i'm sooo jealous ?. i would LOVE a contact if she has one. what did she buy?

FIS - it's a deal ?

A bunch of tops and trousers. the tops look like two tops to me - like a long sleeve underneath and a t-shirt over the top. theyre not though, obviously its just meant to look like that. trousers are cut off type. i didnt pay a huge amount of attention tbh, apart from looking up and saying "oh yeah, really nice" before carrying on doing what i was doing. but i do remember that she kept on going on about how hard they were to get. will ask her. i wont see her tonight, and am away from sunday so will try to post sometime tomorrow.

Gah, i KNEW i should have gone to the yoga show. gutted. i'll make sure i check over the weekend, not that i'm obessed or anything ohhhh no ?.

sorry for the derailment Svensk. s'all market research though innit ?

Me too. Came in 2000 with the intention of staying 2 years maximum. Somehow 8 years later, having picked up a husband and a kid along the way, I am still here!

Ah now, she s just walked in the door. no, she doesnt have a card i m afraid. she even tutted at me for some reason ?. anyway, she s gone straight to....do some yoga <sheesh>. so, sorry, cant help.

I'd have thought that a uni appointment would give you lots of oportunities to meet people. I found making new friends hard when we moved as H was with a brittish bank so most of the people he worked with were also ex pats but were all single guys and all I met in our building were mums. It still all worked out though.

With J2 you can apply for an EAD (ie work permit) once you're here. Be warned it can take a while but I got mine in 2 months. I was an L2 dunno if that makes a difference.

FIS - derail away!

Lobster - the problem is that no-one at the university does any research in my area so the chances of me finding a research position there are slim. Friends-wise I think I'm mostly concerned about making my own friends if I'm not working, I don't really want to have to rely on H's friends. I didn't realise that I would still have to apply for a work permit with that visa so thanks for the warning.

Jobs-wise I was considering getting in touch with someone at Dinosaur Monument National Park but it is a 2 hour drive away. Apparently Colorado is rather large ?

There's no way to get approval to work when you're not in the US without a job offer and your employer sponsoring a visa that gives employment eligability. When I moved most spouses (ie 2) visas didn't let you work at all, they changed the classifications of a few as we moved but originaly I thougt I wouldn't be able to work on an L2.

I apreaciate finding a job you really want will be hard but I know a couple of spouses who have done some form of part time work mainly for the social interaction.

It's getting increasingly common* for universities to do dual appointments - ie they will find positions for both of you. I think that at least one of the jobs will have to be at least tenured (which it sounds like your H's is if it's permanent) so it's worth getting in touch with the uni.

*Well, if you believe the careers bumph in Nature/Science etc.

It's a nice idea but it's not technically a tenured position. It's a five year rolling contract, that would be renewed indefinitely. Argh!