One parent not attending the wedding...Am I the only one?

Yes.. my Dad is in prison, I haven't spoken to him for many years anyway.. so, needless to add, he won't be there, lol.

Also, OH's Dad lives in Singapore, so he wont be there.

OH's mum is a witch and will only be staying for the ceremony.

So.. just my Mum then!

No you are not on your on at all. Despite being divorced, both of my parents have always been a fantastic support to both my OH and me but his family... another story completely! We don't speak to any of them as all they have brought us (and OH through his entire life) is pain and heartache, so none of them will be at the wedding.

I used to be one of those people who believed that no issue could not be resolved and could never understand how people get into situations where they don't end up talking to family members for years but that was because I have never, ever fallen out with any of my family and had also never encountered people like OH's family before.

Now I understand!

WSS.

OH's Dad isn't coming and he wasn't invited as OH doesn't have any contact with him at all. The man is an utter t**t and his new wife is just as twisted.

OH's Mum and Step-dad have been invited, but they're not coming as they live in the US.

Not completely in the same situation, but can sympathise. We are not inviting my dad's family because they fell out years ago and have never heard from them since. TBH they are twunts, so not bothered. OH's parents are both passed away and his aunts and uncles haven't seen him since he was a toddler - so they won't be coming either!

Because we married abroad, there were only 4 people at our wedding - my dad and stepmum and OH's best friend and his wife, but even getting my stepmum there was touch and go up until the last minute as both her daughters had babies within days of her travelling (very stressful at the time!).

I'm the same as you, in that I haven't spoken to my mother in years, and much as I was initially a bit sad that she wasn't there for the planning/run up/wedding and missed having someone in the 'traditional mum role' I soon realised that she's just not that person anyway. If I had tried to involve her, she would have ended up spoiling it for me, so the decision not to tell her was quite an easy one, really. Sad, but true.

OH's parents were a different story....we put the physical barrier there for them as they're not well enough to travel that distance. We were quite selfish, but decided that we wanted to get married where we wanted to and would face the consequences of it, rather than planning what was better for other people and regretting it. Much as we really missed them, we're both glad we did it that way, and they're both really happy for us - the compromise for them was that they would get to hold a party for us when we got back to the UK and I would have to wear my dress to it (how terrible! ?). That's what they're busy planning for us now, although they've had to push it back a bit as I've put so much weight on while we've been away that there's no way I'll be squeezing into that dress!!!

I thought that I might miss having all our friends and family there, but TBH our wedding was perfect and I loved every second of it - so much so, that if we were to do it again, I wouldn't change one thing. We made the most of the people that were there and had a fantastic time and much as I'm sad that I didn't have a mother that could be there for me, I didn't miss her one bit (but Ive always felt that way about our relationship anyway).

Do what you feel is right by you, and ignore everyone else - only you know the truth of your relationship with her, so only you can be the judge.

Hi there, i am not having any of my parents at my wedding. I dont know my father and i have not spoken to my mother for years.

Karina xx

We are only having my parents at the wedding, my OH has nothing to do with his parents or his family apart from a brother and sister so we only have 30 people to our ceremony which is nice but I suspect there will be a few questions on the day from people that don't know the situation.

Hi All,

Hawk - I am so glad you started this thread. Sad as these types of situations are, I'm glad I'm not the only one. Neither of my parents will be attending the wedding; I haven't had any contact with my mother since I was 17 (I'm now 30) and I lost touch with my father when I was 24 (they separated when I was 7). My mother is mentally ill and was sectioned not long after I left, although she has since been living a semi-independent life for several years. Although that might make it sound like the way she behaves is not her fault, she hasn't really changed over the years and I can't put myself in a situation where she can hurt me again. Even her mother (my nan) says she can't get anywhere with her anymore. My father is a slightly different story - basically he just never grew up. He let me down when I turned 21 and pretty much lost interest in me from that point onwards. If I knew how to get in touch with him I might consider inviting him but I wouldn't let him give me away as he doesn't deserve to play the proud father role.

I know that some people can't understand anyone ever turning their back on their family, but the old adage of you can't choose your family is true, and I don't believe people should be allowed to hurt you and get away with it just because you are related to them.

WSS! Also his father is a bit weak and sides with her. OH's sister is also a witch so needless to say I'd rather they weren't there so it's family and his decision

x

My dad is an alcoholic. My mum left when I was 10months old as it was too bad then, and he has gotten progressively worse for the last 22 years. I still love him, I visit him in London a couple of times a year, but I don't want him to ruin my big day. He is constantly drunk, and has ruined two funerals in the last few years by turning up drunk, getting drunker, getting in to fights, and just saying nasty spiteful things and upsetting people.

I thought about telling him that he could come if he stayed sober, but I know he wont, and then he'll know about it and he'll just turn up. He's a bit mental like that, I told him I was off on a girls holiday when I was sixteen and he asked for the hotel details, etc - he caught a flight out and chapped on my hotel room door 10days in to my holiday! ?

My dad will not be attending my wedding! My parents split up when I was 12 and i have always had contact with him, both my other sisters have not had contact with him for years...he is a binge alcoholic and I have been to many a dive to rescue his drunken self...about 4 years ago I went to try and talk some sense into him at his home after his wife had told me he was going to commit suicide! He hit me, not properly just whacked my head off a bannister but bad enough. i decided I was not goign to call him until he apologised and that is the last I heard from him which is really sad. I have tried to find him a few times and have found out he checked himself into a mental hospital for help and has now been taken in by social sevices but they won't tell me where he is ☹️

My mum was always going to give me away as she is my rock and my best friend and not sure if I would have invited him or not, would have been a tough call to make but the decisiom has been taken out of my hands xx

Both our mums will be at our wedding, OH mum lives abroad but she will definitely be travelling back to attend.

I haven't had much contact with my dad over the last 32 years of my life although we only live 1/2 hour from each other. Throughout my life i've always been the one that has to make the effort and time and time again he lets me down and particularly on big occasions and I always say thats the last time but I let him back into my life again (I must love the pain). I have asked him to walk me down the aisle (still not sure why) but I am also having my mum walk me down the aisle as really and truely she raised me so should be the one to hand me over to my h2b. At the end of the day if he does let me down again, my mummy is always there for me.

I'm not sure if OH dad is coming, they are not talking and OH has not invited him to the wedding, but he said if I want to invite him I can but he will not be speaking to him on the day!!

There won't be a father of the bride at my wedding. My fiancee's father was never in the picture and her mother never married so there's not even a father figure of the bride. I know she's upset about it but we're trying to make the best of things. It doesn't help that the biggest problem in my family is the fact that we're geographically dispersed and don't get to see each other as often as we'd like.

WSS - my dad (the one that has been there for good, bad and everything in between) is coming, but not the sperm donor

My dad, haven't seen him in years. I did consider offering him an invite, i know he lives about 4 towns away but then i thought, why should I? I haven't really had him in my life before and don't want to cause any upset amongst the family that have been there for me? complicated...this is why i want a typical nucleur family when we start one :L lol x

Nope - you are not alone. My father was invited and declined to turn up (my mum did)

This is soooo true for me too! My OH's parents are not coming to the wedding, as OH hasn't had contact with them for years, so there will be just six of us at the top table. His mother has been just so terrible to OH in the past, I just can't fathom it as my parents are just so lovely and supportive to us both. Think OH was a bit miffed at first, at the thought of not to have either parent there but I said the decision was totally his and he thought his mother would only ruin the day anyway, as she kicked off at his brother's wedding 9 years ago. I'm glad we're not the only ones though, so thanks for starting this post! x

Just wanted to say thank you to everyone for replying and sharing your experiences, it's nice to see I'm not the only one in this position.

Like others who have replied, OHs parents are fantastic people and have done more for me in the time I've known them than my mother ever has.

Hawk,

Again, thanks so much for starting this thread. Its made me realise I am not alone. None of my family are coming to my wedding or the reception.

My dad died 4 years ago, and since then my family have pretty much cut off all contact with me, for no other reason than the fact that they live in the North and my partner of nine years and I live down south and didnt move up north after my dad died.(Mr GB has never lived up north, so why would he suddnely move?) I ring my mum every day, and have tried to visit as often as possible, but I spend 20 hours per week commuting to London, so weekends are normally taken up with household chores and sleeping! Also, it isnt just a quick trip now. My mum wont come and visit us as she wont get on the train - she wants my OH to drive up, pick her up and bring her back, and do the same on the return trip (its a five hour drive each way!)

When we told her we were getting married she said we were selfish to not get married up North (We have lived here for 9 years...) and she has said everyone in the family thinks 'It's too far to come'

My sisters agree with her. Luckily, OH's parents are amazing. His dad is giving me away.

I won't let it spoil the day, but after my mothers comment - maybe this one will work (we have both been married before but have been together 9 years the day we get married) TBH I am not even expecting a card.

I feel if my dad were still alive the situation would be 100% different.

Sam x

My partners parents or sister won't be coming, we dont speak and havent for over 2 years, there is a reason why you don't speak and reason why i don't speak, don't listen to them if your day and you invite who you want to, its awkward for us because my parners brothers are coming but there's no way i would invite them and he agrees xxxxx