Opinions please... What would YOU do?

Hi,

I think you need to work out what YOU (and OH!) want from your day.

If you want to have the people you have invited around you, then I would suggest seeing if there is a way you can rein the budget in whilst still having them around. Likewise if OH feeels strongly about things like a first dance etc then you should try and have them.

Also, do you stand to loose deposits etc by cancelling things that are booked?

You could still have the registry office ceremony, but maybe find a cheaper venue that you can put your mark on for a reception? (if youi can get out of the hotel booking).

I would revisit the budget and work out what is there because its the done thing, and what is there because you want it to happen, and I'm sure people here will be able to help you find budget options.

But above all, don't let the worry about what other people will think influence your decision, I'm sure you can have the day you want in a way you can afford. I am sure people will understand the toll the current climate has taken on your income.

We've felt like this a few times but after one cancellation decided to keep from changing again so it doesnt become a farce with will they/wont they each time. The first time we announced it, planned, save the dates, bought dress.... then postponed. This time we kept much quieter about it and I still didnt feel we cold postpone, but also because I didnt want to, only OH did but my argument was where do you draw the line? We dont have a few thousand spare to do it so however much it costs is going to mean sacrifice to save, if we postponed again we'd only be in the same boat a little further down the line- I just wanted to get it done now!

I think you need to forget everyone else for a moment, think about what you want to do, how you imagine your day looking.

Hopefully we'll only do it the once, will you regret not having the bigger day? I would, so we decided to go for what we want and spend a little more doing it right for us first time round.

We had the same issue with changing the date, i think we changed it 4 times! we turned it into bit of a laugh with the hotel in the end and paid for the deposit to make sure we had made a decision! A few issues kept coming up and I was getting so annoyed that we said, right, we re making a decsion for ourselves and what we want. Do it for what you really will be happy deep down with.

Thanks ladies, I appreciate all of your advice!

If you cant afford it you cant afford and i would change it.

i woudl rather say that (especially with your work) than say in 3 yrs times you are STILL Paying off the wedding. Then you would resent the wedding.

do want you & your OH want. true friends & important family will unserstand the changes. anyone who doesn't....well they can jog on! x

Haven't read all the replies, but I've also been thinking about just making our wedding low-key (& low cost) and having it sooner rather than later. But then I do think I will end up being disappointed that I never had exactly what I wanted for my wedding, although I want to become my H2B's wife as soon as possible! Do what you and your OH want and don't let others influence you, I.e. it was your OH who wanted a first dance etc. but you were pressured into inviting more people. I wouldn't worry about changing your minds so much as there is still 14 months to go, so people still have plenty of notice!