O/T - Am i being a silly little girl or would you be slightly annoyed to?

As far as I'm aware, it's normal for the god father and god mother to be from different families. Or at least it always has been in my experience. The idea is that if something happens to the parents, the god parents take over, but if something happens to one of them you have a back up. If you see what I mean.

Also in my experience, once the christening is over, apart from birthday and christmas presents, the god parents haven't really had to do anything.

It depends how religious the child's parents are I guess.

I'd say don't sweat it, and be the bigger person.

Ali x

H2Bs sister is not at all religious - its their mum that is the crazy irish catholic! he he!

H2Bs sister just sees it as a good excuse for a party i think!

If I'm honest, yes it would pi$$ me off a bit but what can you do except dont let it wind you up?

And as Ali has said I suspect everything will go back to how it was (as in hardly any contact) after the christening anyway.

Sarah xx

Honestly I would be annoyed but I think you should just leave it. If you or H2B make a fuss it will make you two look like she still bothers you, so just swallow it down spend one day being polite to her and then you probably won't see her again for at least a year!

I dont think there is much you can do tbh She can have who she likes to be godparents, cant she.

Can i take it that your OH was seeing you behind her back, seen as you said that you have been together for 4 1/2 years, but they had only been split up for 4 years. Or have i read it wrongly? If thats the case, the ex might not want to be there anyway

No not seeing him behind her back - i may have wrote it wrong - they have been broken up 4 1/2 years and we been together 4 - may have put it wrong way round in OP

I don't understand why she would want her as a god mother since they aren't close but it is her choice and you can't do anything about it so don't let it stress you out.

Your statement 'also means she will be perminatly in our lives!!' isn't really true because there is no reason why your h2b needs to have anything to do with his ex at all. My h2b is a god father to his nephew and never sees the god mother apart from the odd birthday occasion.

She is an ex for a reason, he is marrying you so just keep thinking that and forget about the fact she may be the god mother.

Hope that makes sense.x

I dont know why she has to be god mother either - its his sister,,, she hasnt got many friends and i think she used to look up to the ex when she was younger even though they are not close now!

Yep, i am going to relax about it and just make sure i have a nicer outfit and nicer shoes on teh christening day hahaha

I'm sorry to say this but I don't think you FSIL has a clue as to what a God parent really is.

Traditionally, the godparents were counted informally responsible for ensuring that the child's religious education was carried out and for caring for the child should he/she be orphaned.

Today the word "godparent" may not have explicitly religious overtones. The modern view of a godparent tends to be an individual chosen by the parents to take an interest in the child's upbringing and personal development. However, godparent is not a legal position, and should the parents seriously intend the godparents to act as foster parents in case of their death, this must be legally specified through the usual means (such as a will)

I have to agree with you and your H2B I think that this is really sill and you're not being OTT. And it's strange that such an important role would be bestowed upon someone who didn't even tell her "friend" that she was married. I mean FACE BOOK!! I can understand that today's society can be somewhat socially inept what with the concept of Facebook, Twitter, MSN, Skype etc. but that would imply that she wasn't even invited. And as for the EX, is she seriously considering this???

This is exactly what i was saying to my H2B - if she is godparent and go forbid something happened to the sister or my H2B then the Ex would be looked upon to care for her child!!!

I dont think she has seriously considered it at all and this is my concern (as well as my annoyance at the fact that she is my H2Bs lying ex!! ha)

Yep the ex is considering this because as i said before she is a NOSY so and so and i think she would take this opertunity to just come along for the sake of it! (she turned up to the hospital when the baby was born when she knew we were going to be there when she was told not to just so she could 'bump into us'!!)

I think you missed the point there....this is not a legally binding thing at all, and would have to be expressed in a will if your SIL wanted it to stand! If you think about it, I'm godparent to my cousin, who has a twin and an older brother. So if anything happened, one twin would come to me, the other somewhere else and their brother elsewhere! It would never happen!

If she came to the hospital when the baby was born, maybe they are closer than you think......Its up to your SIL, but I would't be too concerned.

This is exactly what I think. I too would definitely be annoyed, but wouldn't want to show it. Plus you know obviously that her being godmother is not going to impact your relationship at all - you're the one he's marrying. Just rise above it and as others have said, you probably won't see much of her at all after that anyway if they're not even that close anymore.

Yes i will rise above it - thanks girls.

glad most of you would be annoyed aswel - makes me feel more sane!!!!

I'm sorry but yes you are being silly. Your H2B's has every right to choose whoever she likes as her child's godparents. She has already picked her siblings, you say she doesn't have many friends, it is unusual in many families to pick both partners in a couple, so TBH it makes sense for her to pick her someone she used to look up to and has recetly got back in contact with. If she thinks this woman is a good choice why should she have to not pick her because your H2B doesn't want her to? Would you let her have the final say over your children's god-parents? This is barely going to affect you or your H2B at all. He will have to stand at the front of a church with her for 10 minutes or so. That's it. If the ex and his sister stay in touch then she will no doubt come to the child's birthday parties etc regardless of whether she is a god parent or not. And there is no reason to assume that just becasue your H2B has been asked to be god-father that he would be asked to be guardian in case of his sister's death. Honestly, you are making a mountain out of a molehill. So he might not have a comfortable 10 minutes standing next to her at the font. He'll just have to suck it up because it;s not his day

Edited to add; Also bear in mind you ahven't seen this woman in a very long time and te last time you did was during a difficult period in her life. She may now be a thoroughly delightful person. Also it is likely to be every bit as awkward for her but she isnt putting the child's mum in a difficult position.

Im a god mother to my friends (very beautiful) daughter. I see her about once a month. In four years i have only seen the other god mother as she is my friends sister and they are very close. I have never seen any of the other god parents. The only contact i had with them at the actually Christening was for photos.

i would be a bit miffed but you got him she didnt, so id would smile sweetly thoughtout the day and not let her get to you

x