O/T Anyone about? I need heeeeeelp!

Hi ruthy wuthy, I'm here!! Don't know how useful I'll be tho! Good to hear you're feeling better. As to the subject in hand, I guess whether you go or not depends on a couple of things, ie what is he expecting of it and the same for you? A bit of fun? Some company and a nice evening out? If its just that then id say yes go out! Only you will know how you're feeling at the moment and what your expecations are but you may have to gauge what he is looking for too?

Hi ladies!

Thank you for the replies.

I'm not sure what I'm expecting from it really...I know than 10 years ago he was a lot more into me that I was into him. Maybe i'm just scared that it may go well and I may like him or whatever...and then I'll find myself in a whole bunch of trouble and I don't want that. I'm enjoying being on my own at the moment....so then, what's the point of going if I think I want to be on my own...

I'm not sure now is the best time to get into anything, I can't just do "a bit of fun" without having some feelings for someone...I'm just not that type of person and I guess I don't want to lead him on but then, I also don't want to get hurt again any time soon and maybe I'm just trying to not put myself in any situation where that may happen. Does that make sense?

I'm overthinking this a lot! I know that! Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.?

If he knows about recent events then hes hardly gonna be jumping on ya looking for your undying love and committment.. I would take it as a friendly, nice gesture that a gent wants to take you out and give you some deserved attention )

keep it simple, like a cuppa in a cafe, a light lunch. Dead chuffed for ya like Enjoy x

He's known me for a very long time...and knows about everything so yeah...you're probably right Nona!

How about you go and have fun, see it as 2 old friends going out for a drink. See how it goes.....at the end of the the night you do have the option to say "thanks, but I'm not ready for anything". I know how hard it is to get back into dating after a long relationship with engagement, it's odd to start with, but even if it doesn't actually lead to anything it does make you feel better about yourself (I think it's the whole thing about someone wanting you, it kind of helps get over the whole feeling rejected stuff) And when the time is right to start something with someone, you will know, trust me! Until then there is nothing wrong with a date ?

SOrry for the ramble. At the end of the day you need to do what's right for you, but I think you should go for it - go out and have fun!

This is totally what I think it is...but isn't that kinda using him?! We've been friends for far too long to go messing that up now!

I think I will go for it :-)

Not really - he knows the situation, like Nona said, he's hardly going to jump on you declaring his undying love. I think you need to see it as 2 old friends going out for a catch up. He is probably as nervous as you, worried that he might come across in the wrong way or say the same thing.

You go for it!

Amen!

x

Hello Lovely,

Well i think you should go - he knows the situation and you're not promising anything or committing to anything just by going for a drink or a meal.

You deserve to have someone treat you nicely and as long as you're honest with him I can't see how you can go wrong.

HTH - and catch you later on FB maybe???

xxx

Hi Ruthy! Well done on thinking about getting out and about! I would echo what everyone else has said: Go for it and have some fun! He's surely not going to try and seduce you knowing the circumstances?

As to when it's right to start dating again: It's different for everyone. When my ex and I split up after 13 years, I just suddenly decided to start dating again after about 2 months. I think most people thought that was too soon, but I was only after a bit of fun!

Well on my second date I met the man I'm marrying next year, so I think it's horses for courses really.

Go and have some fun! You deserve it!

Ali xxx

Stop thinking!! just go!! i don't think there is a 'too soon' for starting dating again. i knew my H for 4 years before we got together, and we had made the decision we wanted to be together before my ex-fiance had even moved out of my flat (not as bad as it sounds - the ex took his time!).

i can understand that you're nervous and apprehensive, but don't over think it, just go and have some fun!! This guy knows you, and the situation so that takes off some pressure, leaving plenty of room for enjoyment!!

Hey Ruthy!!

What others have said really, he knows the situation so you just go and have a good time. It will be nice to go out and enjoy yourself and less pressure as you already know him and he is aware of recent events too...

Enjoy and report back!!

Hi!

Thank you for your messages!!! The "date" was yesterday and truth be said it didn't really go as planned...For starters I didn't feel well but I thought it might have been nerves and that I would be ok once I got there.

We were just meeting up in one of those bistro bar things where you can have an alcoholic beverage or a coffee but it's pretty chilled out. I made sure he was driving though so that he wouldn't be able too drink much and wouldn't want a long night out if that makes any sense?

Anyway, it was a little bit odd...not really awkward but just odd, for about a minute when we first met up. There were lots of you look reeeeeally wells and it so good to see yous. But then, I started to feel really quite hot and he noticed..to the point he asked if I was ok because I looked really red...ooooopsie! I felt like I was burning up!! Not good at all!

So he offered to drive me home and he was still here this morning.............(not that like...one track minds you lot!! ?) He said he was worried about me and then he said he would just stay until he knew I was asleep and I had everything I needed. I fell asleep and I woke up to him having gone to a 24 hour chemist and got me medicine and stuff, he had made me a cup of tea and ran me a bath (not too hot, not too cold <--------- his words!) and then he just kissed me on the forehead and said see you soon, hope you feel better and went home! ?

I've texted him to say thank you for looking after me and sorry our date was a bit pants and for making sure I was ok last night. He said it's no problem.

What do I do now?!!!

He sounds really sweet. Do you want to see him again?

Ahhh the perfect gent in shining armour..........

Yeah I think so...it's not like I really got to talk to him yesterday really! I was fast asleep in my bed 2 hours after leaving to go and meet him! I don't know if he would want to meet up again though. I may have scared him from going on another date with me!

If you had scared him that much he wouldn't have stayed after he took you home. He sounds very sweet. I think that as soon as you are feeling better you should ask him if he fancies trying the date again!