o/t - does anyone else have a sibling refusing to attend your wedding?

H's sister didn't come to our wedding. Long story but she doesn't get on with their granddad. H decided the only way around it was to invite his grandparents in the day and his sister, her H and kids in the evening but she didn't come. They did fall out a bit about it at the time he told her but made up soon after. Didn't get a wedding card from her though which I feel really bad about for H - not getting a card from your sister is pretty harsh esp as they get on fine and she was round for a BBQ at the weekend!

I have a sibling I haven't invited to my wedding!

My three siblings are all half-siblings from my Mum's first marriage. That marriage ended when her H cheated. The mistress's H rang my Mum and told her, and when she confronted her H he admitted it and said she had a month to move out as he was moving his mistress in.

Older brother and sister were both old enough to know what was going on, but younger brother wasn't. All three stayed with their dad (as he had the house; Mum was living with her parents) and he attempted to poison their minds against Mum. He failed with the older two, who knew exactly what had happened, and when Mum moved in with my Dad three years after the split my sister immediately moved in with them. Unfortunately, he succeeded with my younger brother. Her now-ex H used to call Mum and say things like, "David's calling Maureen mum", then hang up. Because of the brainwashing, he refuses to have anything to do with Mum or her side of the family (although he did take his £3500 from the sale of my Nan's bungalow when she died...)

I've never actually officially met my younger brother. I've seen him a couple of times (my niece's Christening in 1988; my older brother's wedding in 2004; my nephew's Christening in 2006) but he refuses to talk to Mum or me. Any contact we try to make is ripped up and returned. He even wrote Mum a letter last time she sent him a birthday card (which is ages ago now, 1990-ish) saying that, as far as he is concerned, she is dead.

His dad and step-mum have now made peace with Mum and Dad and they get on well, but he is too proud to admit he may have been wrong and still won't speak to us, even though his wife is desperate to meet Mum. When they got married, they didn't tell the guests where the wedding was. They had them meet at a hotel and hired a bus to take the guests to the ceremony so that noone could tell Mum where it was and she couldn't show up, sit at the back and watch.

My sister is now also on his veto list because, about a year ago, she told him it was about time he swallowed his pride and spoke to Mum. She told him if either of his kids needed a transplant and Mum was a perfect match, he'd want to know her then. He said he wouldn't.

So, my sister is my MoH, my older brother is my usher, my niece is a bridesmaid, my nephew is a page boy and younger brother, his wife and his two children are not invited. And would have refused to come if we had invited them. He's 36.

This has turned into a bit of an outpouring hasn't it? Sorry.

Almost! H2Bs sister doesn'tget on with their dadand wasn't sure about coming. We ignored her, then a few months later gave her the details of a hotel room if she wanted it and she said that it was great and what info did she need to give the hotel!

I have 4 half- and step- brothers and sisters who aren't coming - three are too young to travel from spain alone (and there is no way in hell my dad is coming) and the other (who is 21) I've never met - I could pass him on the street and not know it!

Just let him get on with it!

before my wedding one of my sisters (who is 11 years older than me) threw paddys about everything and said she would rather do overtime at work than come to my wedding, she also constantly threatened to disown me. I took it all on the chin and still let her come as i told myself we would both regret it if she did'nt go. On the day itself she got really drunk and started an argument with me at the reception. Since the wedding we spoke once on the phone which turned into the biggest argument i've ever had with anyone and 2 years later we still have'nt patched it up.

sorry i've rambled a lot but what i'm generally getting at is that if her does'nt want to come let him get on with it as it will be for him to regret in the future, trying to make someone come just because they are family does'nt always work out for the best!

my sister is younger than me and lives in spain with her grandparents, for the last year she's let me buy her all the stuff for a bridesmaid and fly out there to get her measured etc, shoes jewellery gifts etc etc

7 weeks before the wedding she pulled a stunt and caused a row with me for no reason so she could say she wasnt coming to the wedding and not to speak to her again.

turns out she has a dance competition next weekend and thats why she doesnt want to fly over. nice.

was my birthday this week and i didnt get a text or anything either.

edit to add im also not inviting my mum but for a different reason!

My H2B's brother wont come, due to a family fued Which HE caused last year!!, and maybe the fact that he lives in US

To be honest - if he is that selfish then I dont want him as part of our day!!

MrNeo's brother didn't come to our wedding ceremony (which lasted about 20 minutes, it was a civil wedding) because he had to study for an exam he had 2 days later. He did however come to the reception, wedding breakfast and evening party and spent about 11 hours there in total ?

He never said anything or apologised to me about it. He also gave us the crappiest wedding gift.

A few months after the wedding MrNeo was having an argument with him and the wedding came up. MrNeo's brother said, if it had been a church wedding he would have bothered coming to the ceremony, but as it was "only a civil"... ?

And they wonder why we don't get along

My brother won't be coming to my wedding as we don't have any contact and he also got married without telling us (I found out through the internet). This was only last year.

However this was my brothers second attempt at arranging the wedding as the first time his now wife feel pregnant so they cancelled the wedding and obviously rearranged it. I was in contact during the first attempt and they were going to get married in Jamaica so I said I wouldn't be going as I couldn't afford £2k or 2 weeks off work. He wasn't best pleased but when I suggested if I was that important he pay for me since it was his choice to get married abroad he soon changed his mind.

I couldn't care less that he isn't there and if by some miracle he does get in contact between now and May he still won't be invited because as far as I'm concerned I don't have a brother. Very long story which I won't go into.