O/T: Facebook friends list (Long!)

FB doesn't alert people to the fact you are deleting them from your friends list, they are just deleted from your personal listing. They will be none the wiser.

I'm not sure why FB is seen as the mecca of friendship status - a real friendship is surely more than a page of ramblings about not very much? Appreciate its a difficult situation for you to be in but I'm not sure whats more problematic to you - the failure of this friendship or the fact if you delete these people off FB they might 'find out'! You're almost stalking these people thru' Facebook! Doesn't that seem a bit weird?

Edited to add - I guess its hard given your H2B's best man is involved in this - maybe you all just need to try to get together and sort it out? Good luck ....

Not directed at anyone but i do wonder why do we all analyse facebook so much nowadays?

I did have a facebook profile, was on there a year and deleted it a few months back. Best thing i ever did! & maybe thats the answer for you as it stops you being able to look at A & L profiles and inturn avoids you getting upset, and if A & L do notice then you can say you switched profile off as oh it was taking up too much of my time/i was hurt by your actions/whatever you like and problem sorted.

As friendships have a funny way of reconciling themselves this way you are not adding fuel to the fire if that makes sense and gives both you and your *friends* a bit of time just incase there is any chance of you lot becoming mates again. Also you have to consider the fact it sounds like he will be at your wedding (with her probably) and this could cause alot of pain/hassle/disruption before your big day and possibly on it.

HTH & good luck.

Edited to add: Also when me and H2b first got engaged we didnt hear from friends, and didnt get as many invites as often as before and this was because they wanted to give us time together but this did not mean that they stopped caring or being friends.

Hiya and thanks for your replies.

I'm not sure whats more problematic to you - the failure of this friendship or the fact if you delete these people off FB they might 'find out'! You're almost stalking these people thru' Facebook! Doesn't that seem a bit weird?

To be honest, when it all happened originally I realised by what A and L said to me at the time that I'd always thought that they were "our" friends as a couple but A and L just saw me as H2B's girlfriend. That hurt quite a bit, and so maybe there wasn't a friendship to end, with me anyway. My reasoning is that these people are not my friends, I don't like them, and I am not even sure if they're H2B's friends at the moment, so why should we keep them on.

I don't care if they do find out about deleting them on facebook, and I agree with you they're not always real friendships on facebook - these girls added me, and based on what's happening in "real life" they're not our friends anymore. I don't think "almost stalking them" is fair - at first when they wrote on eachother's walls or updated their statuses about things it came up on my homepage automatically so I wasn't seeking it out. Then when it began to hurt us I changed the settings so they weren't appearing on the home page. It's only that H2B texts these people about doing stuff and they don't get back to us that he has a look and sees they've gone ahead and done things without us.

If H2B were not involved, or it didn't involve his best friend I'd delete them like a shot. It's only that if as Cotteesgirl says, if best man and L start being better friends to H2B that deleting them affects that or looks like I'm speaking for both of us if I delete them.

I've changed my mind so many times about this. I know it sounds corny but this has been going on for months and I figured if I do it today then 2009 is a new start.

If they're not your friends and that is truly how you feel when you see their faces on your profile then delete them. Like the 2nd poster said, FB does not alert them to the fact that they have been deleted and if theyve been shunning you and H2B as much as you say then why do you care whether you offend them or not?

Me and my H2B are both on FB (he joined merely so i could announce to the world who i was engaged to lol)... we were both in the same class at school and so know the same people. You should see how many people ask him to be their friends and can see full well by accessing his profile that he is engaged to me who went to the same school and a large majority of these people have not asked me to be their friend... Do i care? HELL NO! I wasnt friends with most of the people whilst we were at school and im not friends with them now so i dont need to take an interest in their lives and find out what they are/arent doing and that's probably how they feel about me.

Some people are so hung up on making FB history and just add "friends" for the sake of it (not saying that this is you btw) i prefer to actually know and like the friends who are in my friends list, i can honestly say i still speak to all of them on occasions and i mostly use FB to contact my closest girl friends when we are planning a night out as it is cheaper and easier than texting people individually.

It is upsetting and frustrating when people who you thought you were friends with turn out not to be, and even more so when you genuinely feel you havent done anything to deserve being shunned but honestly hun, you and your H2B have each other and im sure you have other friends that you can socialise with so i would not give them another thought, delete them off of your page and concentrate having a wonderful New Year's Eve together tonight!

Hi Nicola,

Thanks for your reply. I know what you mean! Every friend I have on there are people I still keep up with and see everyday, those two aside. I've known people with like 700 friends! What's the point?!

I guess we won't dwell too much on last year and plan to have a lovely night in...can't believe at midnight we'll be able to say we're getting married this year! x