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Beginner August 2009

O/T Has she overstepped the mark?

summer_sparkles, 1 July, 2009 at 10:01 Posted on Planning 0 7

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I was out with a friend the other day and we were just talking about the wedding and I was saying how I'm doing a lot of the planning on my own and then she told me she thought my H2B was really selfish and then went on to list all the reasons why, completely unprovoked.

I just feel like this is really inappropriate - I'm about to marry this man, and I know he has his flaws but I really don't think it was her place to remark upon them, unasked.

I'm confused, I do feel like she's overstepped the mark because ok, sometimes I do moan about M to her but I've never asked her opinion on him, sometimes I just need to vent.

If the shoe was on the other foot and a friend was moaning about her OH I would be sympathetic but not attack her partner as it's not my place.

Am I right in thinking she has overstepped the mark?

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7 replies

Latest activity by The Sock Chicken, 1 July, 2009 at 14:27

teeheeyoucrazyguys! · 1 July, 2009 at 10:06
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Cheeky cow.....

how dare she slag off yer blokie.... shes jealous. Obvious.
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Stazzle · 1 July, 2009 at 10:10
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I think sometimes this is the problem with moaning to your friends about your OH. If all she hears constantly is you complaining about him, she's not going to see the best side of him and is probably going to lean towards thinking negatively about him.

I can see why you feel a bit surprised, because in your eyes you can say it because you're his partner and ultimately you love him, but if anyone else says it you feel it's wrong. I don't necessarily think that your friend has overstepped the mark, but it does depend on how often you moan to her about him. If it's just occasionally, as we all do from time to time, then I would say perhaps she has, as there was no real reason for her to come out with it all. But then if you're constantly complaining about him to her, and not just from time to time, I think maybe she's got to the point where she wants to give you her opinion about how she sees your relationship, as your friend.

I hope that makes sense? Do you feel as if you do complain about your OH a lot to her?
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Beginner August 2010
Cosmopolitan · 1 July, 2009 at 10:13
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Yep she has overstepped the mark. As TeeHee said she is obviously jealous, I wouldn't let it bother you.
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Beginner August 2013
ooh la la · 1 July, 2009 at 10:17
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I COMPLETELY agree with what Stazzle said.

If you slag your OH off to her quite frequently, then she obviously doesn't think that she is doing wrong by pointing out his flaws to you.

x

ETA - Not that I'm condoning her behaviour!
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Beginner August 2009
bluewater · 1 July, 2009 at 10:27
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Sorry, wStazzleS.
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Beginner August 2009
summer_sparkles · 1 July, 2009 at 10:49
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Ok, I occasionally moan about him to her, but little things about him being forgetful etc or stubborn, and she does the same to me when she was with her ex, but I've never said about him being selfish because he isn't, he's the most selfless person I know for reasons I won't go into here.

And when she came out with her outburst, I hadn't even mentioned him at all.

So it's not like I'm constantly talking about him being selfish, I don't think she's justified.
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Beginner July 2009
Debi*M · 1 July, 2009 at 12:22
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I think she was out of order. and agree shes probs jealous. Just let it go over your head xxx
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Beginner August 2010
The Sock Chicken · 1 July, 2009 at 14:27
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Sorry but i agree with what Stazzle said.
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