OT what are your interests/hobbies? (kinda sens)

Hiya, I'm probably slightly similar to you in that I don't have many hobbies as such. I enjoy reading and music but like jo said they are quite solitary hobbies to have. I saw from one of your posts that you've joined curves. I used to do curves and the one I went to always had lots of events going onand as I used to go at the same times each day, the same people always seemed to be there. From the times that you've been does it seem like the members there are quite friendly? Perhaps there are people there you may have things in common with?

Gosh teehee, I don't know what to say. I'm not saying for a second that we're going through similar issues, but I was in a really one-sided relationship before I met my OH. I adore him, and we've been married for a long time but there's no doubt that at the beginning I was in need of a bit of TLC. He provided it, and I'm hugely grateful that it became more than that.

However, everyone needs some me time and a sense of self. 7 years down the line, all my friends know me either B's wife or X, Y & Z's Mum and I needed more than that. I worked for a while before we married, but couldn't go back to doing the same thing again with a family. Hence I took myself off and trained as a florist and now I enjoy every day. I'm busy, and more importantly I have a topic of conversation that my family aren't privy to (in a nice way!) and I can hold my own without feeling inadequate.

p.s. are you a member of the book club ?

Hey Nona

I'm a student at a university in Epsom, studying fashion. It's a 4 year course and I've only just started. I don't get to go out much because I have a 1yr old son, and his dad, my H2B, is a chef and works 11 huors a day and the days he has off he just wants to realx and stay indoors mostly. I see my freiends from my old school reguarly but we all have our thing and in different towns.

Jo xxx

Hi, cheers for the replies......

yeah ive joined curves but due to illness and being busy ive not been regularly. Theres many older ladies who are going, a few teachers whom I know but everyones so busy working on their stuff that theres not much scope for chat...there is a christmas night out planned but not sure if I am able to go.

Jo's hobbies sound fun, wish I had the figure to model, ha! photographys cool....cant relax with books at the moment. I am a singer and used to sing all the time and would ideally love to get with a pianist and do some stuff but dont know how to go about it...music used to be such a big part of my life but OH doesnt appreciate my liking for LOUD music and so I stopped listening to it....

I have slightly the same problem but seems to be more loniless than boredom and has worsened since i moved in with h2b, i live 100 miles from my family and my friends all live 45mins away where i used to live till we bought a place together (was always just to be temp and we were going to do it up then sell it on but with the current money situ looks like we'll be here a lot longer!)

i joined the gym and when i start feeling bored etc i go for a swim, im also part of the book club on here. i've made more friends a work who live closer so meet up with them for lunches etc and am currently doing a post grad degree (finish it tomorrow!)

i'd say even just get up and out, even just a 10 min walk works wonders!

x

Ooo congrats on finishing your post grad. I finished mine in june 07, pity i'm struggling to do a thing with it!! I only work 2 days a week at a school, and will finish there on the 16th dec and then im unemployed.....Loneiliness sure is rubbish and i'm thankful I have this forum to talk about weddings n stuff but.... well, y'know...

i appreciate all the replies. Its not been easy 'spilling my guts'....

I'm a rock chick (ACDC, metallica etc etc etc) OH likes his rock too - if it comes from the 80s/early 90s (Little Angels, ZZ top, Thunder, Journey) My ex is heavily involved with the music industry and so music was always playing. Once we get a bigger house I'll be able to blast away to my hearts content, singing Hearts greatest hits at the top of my voice, LOLOL!

Off to bed so didn't want to r+r but i don't really have any interests - I like the gym/dancing, reading + music. I always feel like I should have a hobby but I'm crap creative-wise.

I have made a lot of friends at the gym so I def think this is good place to start. Are there any am-dram places near you - I know this is a bit beneath your talents but it might be a good way to meet people and boost your self esteem....

Anyway you can always talk to us on here - I've had severe problems with self-esteem/depression previously and the one thing that really helped was the gym (meeting people, dance classes etc) plus it kept me on a more even keel. Am fine now...

HTH - and I would like to say that you are a great friend to have on hitched

Night SG x

Nona I understand where you are coming from so you are not alone. I'm quite a home bird and love staying at home so I don't get bored really but then I have a full time job to do as well as the business as well as all the housework so I don't have much spare time. Even I do though people think I'm crazy that I prefer to stay in instead of going out. I've never had much of a social network of friends though (I have a group of friends from school) but don't feel comfortable going out really as I feel my friends have got totally different interests to me now and I'm not really on their wave length.

Since being on here I've meet a few really good friends which I'm sure will be life long friends (you know who you all are) and it may sound sad to a lot of people but my social life is my laptop now. I hate having to spend time to get ready for a night out and all dressed up (probably to do with the fact I'm not happy with the way I look right now) but staying in with h2b and watching x factor on a Saturday night is something I love doing. People think I have OCD with housework because on a Monday morning everyone is talking about being out with friends drunk at a party and I'm sitting saying 'well I did jewellery and then pottered around the house cleaning'.

If I could change anything I'd live closer to the people I've meet on here and then I think my social life would be totally different but hey that isn't going to happen unless the girls want to move? ?

I've not really helped have I but just wanted to say you are not the only person without many interests.

Lx

At weekends I climb, go mountain biking, mountain boarding and various sports I can injure myself doing! I also do lots of training at home (weights, pull up bar, balance board and that kinda thing) for said sports. I also enjoy cooking and making stuff (cards, corn dollys, salt dough, cross stitch, glass painting, anything I can get my hands on!). I also play the flute and sax (good job I live in the middle of no-where!). At the moment H is teaching me about motorbikes so I can help with the maintainance whilst we're on our mammoth trek round europe and I'm currently teaching myself Spanish and astronomy/astrophotography, although the latter has so far consisted of buying the books and making a neat pile of them by the bed!!

That sounds like loads, but I don't do all of it all of the time! Can't do the climbing and biking, flute or sax atm due to my finger so doing more of the things that involve reading, but as soon as I can climb again I probably won't go near a book for months!!

I would say its a matter of breaking your routine and the habit of not doing much. If you want to do some learning type activities without doing a qualification/paying, there is some free stuff here: http://www.open.edu/openlearn/

For example, download the 'course' called 'start writing fiction' and have a go and writing a novel!! You never know!

Hope you get it sorted! If you ever find yourself near Edinburgh come visit me and we'll go do stuff!!!

Sorry to hear you are feeling so down Teehee... I've seen you making lots for the wedding so you must be quite crafty; how about something like stitch 'n' ***? Lots of meeting up and chatting involved there! Just an idea.

Have you thought about starting a franchise?? there are loads of toddler/primary school aged drama/dance/singing type classes available online but hardly any of them in Scotland...

that way you can combine your work and make it more of a hobby with hours to suit you ?

Hitched is censoring my message!! Heres the info of networks if its helpful; https://www.stitchnbitch.co.uk/fan.htm

I don't really have any hobbies as such, but I do like socialising through computer games (yes I am a bit of a geek!). It all started at Christmas last year when OH bought me a Nintendo ds. I started playing a game called Animal Crossing and joined a forum for it. I have met many friends through that and I play my ds online with them, it may sound sad to some, but I have had many fun evenings with them. I don't play the game as much now but still talk to them on the forum and on facebook. I tend to play Call of Duty on Xboxlive instead, and I have met some people on there who I talk to and play games with. Like I said, probably sad for some, but I have had many an entertaining evening on there.

I can understand how you feel, I was feeling very depressed and lonely before I met my h2b, I was on antidepressents for a while and then meeting my OH made me come off them, but there are times now even though I am so happy with him, when I feel myself sliding back in that direction, especially lately as things have been rubbish at work.

Are you still out of work? Thats probably not helping ?

Sorry to hear you're a little down.

I am a member of a choir, which I hate to say it, is mainly full of middle aged women like my Mum, but there are a couple of other girls my age and I love singing so it gets me out and I enjoy it. I also play netball once a week which I sometimes have to drag myself out of the house for, but it's a great way to meet other people.

I also run, sometimes with a friend, and go to the gym. Running can at times be fairly soliditary but I still love it and it gets me out of the house. I am a great sufferer of cabin fever and get really depressed if I'm stuck in on my own. Even an evening on my own can get me down. My first year here in Bangkok was really really hard because I didn't have any interests or many friends. H was out joining cricket clubs and socialising loads that way and I did nothing except feel miserable. I now can't believe how much my life has changed now I've started to do things.

Hope you feel better soon.

Awww Teehee, sorry you feeling like this. From your posts in the past I think you would suit trying your hand at comedy writting, your very good with the one liners I think, very witty! I also think its true fresh air does wonders, do you live near any countryside or beach, I love a brisk walk, to clear the head!

With my fella working away at a week at a time, I am in the house on my own, I work shifts too, all with men! So there's no time for fluffy wedding talk from me there (all men gets to me sometimes). I'm a bit of a potterer round the house, love growing my own veg, hebs, plants etc, I also like attempting to make things, ranging from cards/cakes to my wedding tiara (I find it keeps me amused!).

H2B are also complete opposites in music, he loves AC/DC Metallica, me- I love Snow patrol/Stereophonics, Manics etc, so we do clash a bit there. Hows about going to some live gigs, thats another feel good past time I love, esp as you love music!

Hope you feel better in the morning, a good nights sleep can also do the trick!?

I know just how you feel Teehee, I have few of my own friends here as lots of people left when uni finished and I wasn't great friends with them anyway!! I do knitting, swimming, jigsaw puzzles (how geeky!) and crafty things. I'm also unemployed and trying to work out what to do with my degree - I totally lack self esteem because of being made redundant and my horrid neighbours (handing in notice to landlord today hooray!). Try something new (crafty or otherwise), as others have said online could be the way to go particularly if you're in the sticks (are you getting that cottage?!) I'm aiming to get a job, build my self esteem and make more of my own friends. Other people see you as talented, friendly, funny and generous so every time you feel down think of all the nice things people have said about you here and the help you've given others - it will make you feel like a valued person which is I think what we all need:-) N x

Nona i've only just seen this. as you know i moved to scotland knowing no-one except my h2b, so i know what it's like to feel lonely.

one thing i have done in the past is go to evening classes or adult education classes - i went to a pottery one about a year ago, and although i wasn't very good, it was great fun and met a few other people. more than anything, it got me out the house.

tbh i don't have many other interests at the moment - i am quite happy to mooch around bluewater for a few hours!!! i'm doing a post grad which means time which isn't spent wedding planning is spent researching essays, so i will probably do more evening classes after the wedding and after my PG is done.

but have a ? all the same - you can count on all of us as your friends x

Hiya, Sorry to hear the troubles you are having. My OH and i went through a similar thing a couple of years ago because like you i did't have any hobbies etc.

I now play netball once a week and also play when the league starts. It's good fun, the girls are lovely and i get a bit of exercise. I found this club running through the council, perhaps check there? Plus i never knew how much i'd enjoy netball again after leaving school ten years ago - i love it!

Good Luck x

Wow so many replies! Kinda speechless and I wish I had written down stuff to reply to now! PG mentioned something which rang true with me in regards to how I feel about my appearance etc and thats not helping me and OH either coz it leads to all sorts of issues which OH is now dispairing of, bless him, a man can only be patient for so long. I thought maybe having something to do might lift my spirits, my worth, therefore lift my mojo??

anyways, thanks girls, you all seem to have great interests. If we ever did the cottage OH says he wont touch it, its to be my project and he'll work on the gardens and his dream-garage.......

i'm also gonna look into that link looby posted......

as for today, well its clean the house day, its a sh!t hole!!!!!

?

Sorry you're feeling a bit down. I don't get a lot of spare time due to the business but I'm lucky in that my business grew from my original hobby. I go to the gym at least twice a week but try to make it three and it's a great way to feel good and it also beats the 'blues' which sometimes comes over for no reason due to me going through the change. I also went to night school many years ago and met lots of friends which I still have today. I originally went for flower arranging (and it's not just for old ladies honestly!) and did this for 3 years before deciding this was what I wanted to do as a career and then went back to night school for another 3 years to take all my floristry exams. I've also done tennis lessons at night school which was good fun and keeps you fit. They have lots of leisure courses which run for short periods which are just for the fun of it - I once tried belly dancing and it was a right laugh! I like to do photography as well as this is something my hubby isn't particularly interested in so I can just jump in the car and drive off into the countryside, camera in hand and please myself which is my 'me' time. I would quite like to do some voluntary work too but most of the places want people who can commit to regular weekly stints which I might not always be able to fit in so I'm still pondering on that one! If your a teacher, could you do private tuition? A lot of parents are willing to pay for this to help their kids and it could be something you could do from home. If you don't fancy mixing with people as such but still want to be part of something - the RSPCA are always desperate for dog walkers - my friend does this and loves it! Animals make great friends!

Hi Nona,

Sorry you have been feeling like this and I just wanted to mirror what someone else has said on here previously.

You are a very kind person - you helped me with my invites (which have come out brill by the way - thanks again) and you never really knew me. Not many people would give up their time to help out others. I have also seen lots of posts on here that you have helped other people so please remember how much people think of you and that is to say that we are only taking over the net so not very interactive. I would mirror what evenyone else has said really - make sure you get out of the house at least once a day even if it is for just 10 mins - have you got any pets - I have got a 1 yr old black lab and it really does make you get out of the house and is also great company when my fiance is out working nights.

hope you feel better.

Gem

Thanks Neph and Gem for those words - I am not looking for an ego boost, lolol, but need a hanky coz you brought tears to my eyes.... Cheers for the ideas too Rainbow..

Going through the posts; ebee suggested my own franchise in drama clubs - I am already running one for a friend whilst shes working on stage. There are LOADS in this part of the country so setting up another would be pointless. Zippy - I am a geek also but need to get away from the pc. I'm not into games or the social net work sites. not into sports and even dragging myself into curves involves a 25 min bus journey and a 20 min walk just to get there. I would consider evening classes if I could drive to the college, its in an area you dont want to be walking about in. and lastly, not allowed pets where i live.....

ive just tried to do some singing but my voice is not fully back yet and now have a sore throat again, grrrr.

I'm waiting to talk to my solicitor about sale of my house, hes not returned my calls yet..... and im not even dressed yet!!!! shocking.

I'll get there.

I have a full time job, and a horse - and between those two things, I am kept pretty busy! Up and into work for 8.30 am (although sometimes I get up early and ride the horse before work), then 10 minute walk home at 5pm, 20 minute change and turn around, 20 minute drive to the yard - get there just ebfore 6. Can easily spend a couple of hours riding and doing all my yard jobs, and often not home til 8.30 - and starving! cook and eat a late dinner, and then its bed time! No time for any other hobbies! Though sometimes I can be quicker with the horse if I have other specific plans! Weekends are largely taken up by horsing too - either competitons of long rides.

I used to do a lot of mountain biking, which I love, but never have time for it these days! Also try and do a bit of walking as we are near the lake district. Every now and again we ditch the horse for the weekend and get away somewhere else - but its too expensive to do often.

Hi Nona,

I hope you are feeling a bit better today, sometimes (as some one else said) a good night's sleep can help. I can't think of any other hobbies for you to do, but you are definitely a creative sort. Could you privately tutor any kids for GSCE Music/Drama - this can pay pretty well I think - my Latin tutor (!) earned £40 p/h.

From looking at everyone else's posts and from what I have seen about you, you are very good at using your talents to help other people. Could you maybe run some sort of after-school club? Or (I know this might seem a bit barrel-scrapy) could you help out/organise help at any old people's homes near you - or do some charity work?

Anyway I would like to reiterate how lovely you've been to me when I've been down - and you are generally a great person to know on Hitched

SG

I completely agree except for me it's 12 years since I left school! And now I'm apparently a reasonable GK!

Nona - hope you're feeling better today hun.

Isn't amazing how many of us have been / are in a similar situation??! I've certainly been there.

I don't tend to have time for hobbies, but I do read, knit and go to the gym. Mainly work and a demanding 2 year old take up my time! I do have a dog (an old cocker spaniel) and I find it very relaxing walking him. Plus it means I have to go and do something!

After my divorce I had sooo many issues. Mainly who I was and why I hated myself. I bounced from one rubbish/destructive relationship to another and after breaking up with a really nice bloke for who knows what reason, I got myself some counselling. It was wonderful, and I now know myself a lot better. I also like myself!! I'm wonderful!! lol....

Loobyg - that link looks good. I'll def be having a look.

Can't remember who's doing the tog course (sorry!) but that's another thing I'd love to try my hand at.

C xx

Hi claire,

have been thinking about getting a counsellor actually, doc wasnt interested when I mentioned it to her so might just go private....its not nice knowing that my feelings are destroying my relationship, we need to fix stuff before we get married...

I would really recommend it. I worked through so many different things that I didn't think I was bothered about, or didn't realise how strongly I felt about. I had "issues" with my parents, mainly my mother, about how they treated me compared to my sister.

I got with dp after I'd gone through my counselling and it helped make things so different! I'm a totally different person now to what I was 5 years ago.

Doh - I do have hobbies! I'm a qualified massage therapist, but just use for friends and family, and I also do Reiki. Now there's something that would make you feel better. Reiki. Wonderful stuff!!

C x

Hello,

Have just read your post and sorry to hear you are fed up, i dont really have any hobbies either and really need some, so please dont feel you are alone, if you are ever fed up you can always drop me a mail for a chat etc. You have always been so nice, friendly and helpful on here. I hope you are feeling better soon!!

I keep thinking about evening class like people have said, i quiet fancy tap hehe, does anything like that appeal to you? xxx

Hi Nona, totally know how you feel.....you're post sounded like me! I'm in the same kind of cycle now and trying to break it before it effects me and H2B as I just can't get away from some stuff that went on in the past. I want to be with H2B more than anything, but I know I'm causing a big strain when I have my downtimes.

I'm just trying to keep busy, and keep my mind active as I find its when I'm bored it takes over. So bought myself a few new Wii Games, and spending more time learning stuff.....I've tried knitting, and thats partly why I want to do more creative stuff for the wedding so I've got something to occupy my mind. Was thinking of starting a night class in the new year, something like Sign Language so its useful too.

Hope you're feeling better, and if you ever want a chat, I'm most likely around! xx

Hey hun,

When I read your post I kinda felt like I really understood. I am not saying what I feel is the same as you but I thought I would explain the way I am. In my previous relationships I have pushed and pushed people away because I have wanted more and more love and wanted them to validate me as a person I guess...which was stupid as I was like a destructive time bomb on my own relationships and I knew it!!!

I was always releived when they ended in a way then I got back to Kate. i went out dancing with my friends al the time...I really got into music and felt super confident. Now I am with my H2B I do sort of feel like I have lost some of my identity....I wouldn't change him for the whole earth and he is soooo super patient and understanding with me and I know I do NOT want to push him away in the same way....

so I ask myself....why do I keep asking him how much he loves me....when i know...when he tells me every day?!?

Also I have no hobbies over here....I have not made any friends over here apart from being on friendly terms with people at work...it does not extend beyond that. H2b is my best buddy and we are very guilty of being 2 little hermits together.

I loved reading about everyones hobbies as well and think i am going to look into some stuff too!

I just wanted you to know you are not alone....and even if what you are going through isn't the same as me I do know what it is like to hurt like that...and feel you are losing yourself at times!

xxx