O/T What do you do when you feel like you can't cope???

I usually go out for a run to clear my head of all crap but obviously if you're not well you can'! I expect you're run down from all the stress.

First of all - you can not please everyone. If you are ill you can't be expected to carry on working. I'm sure you are expected to cope when your colleagues are off ill so they can manage without you.

The best thing you can do for your h2b and his family is just be there for them. I'm sure they understand you can't go to both funerals. That is just a small part of being there.

I would go and get a really cheesy funny film out, a tub of haagan daaz and veg on the sofa.

Woah - thats a lot to be coping with. I've off loaded lots on here recently because I felt much the same as you (for different reasons) and I'm sure you'll get some good support - some folk will probably PM you rather than post publicly.

Post this on O/T as well - there are some fabulous folk over there only too happy to give others support at times like these. I got some really lovely emails and PMs from people, as well as great help on the forum itself.

Sounds like you are suffering from an overload of life. There is sadly little we can do other than try to cope - but I know right now thats the last thing you probably feel like you're doing. But you are - just to be able to admit you're struggling is in a way, a sign you are coping (iyswim).

If you feel its getting to the point where you just want to sit in a darkened room and never come out again then you need to get some professional help. Doesn't have to be anything heavy, but there are places and people out there who will listen and give advice/support. Telephone support help lines, things like that.

Just coping with being there as someone passes over is enough - without everything else. I was like you - felt I could take on the world and then suddenly it all just got too much and I'm still suffering from the fallout of that - but just having folk to talk to somewhere like hitched helped a huge amount - might sound silly but its like having an anonymous best friend to 'arrrrrrgggghhhh' at!! Yet you don't feel your burdening folk with your problems cos people only reply if they really want to!!

First thing is to take care you YOU - get yourself well and that will mean switching off from work first and foremost. The more personal stuff isn't so easy to throw aside, but work will just have to cope. DON'T log on to your emails - if you're sick you're sick and you won't get any extra thanks for trying to work from home.

Personal stuff - well folk around you need to support you as much as you supporting them - don't take it all on yourself and get nothing back. The house situation is something specific to you and folk should be trying to help you through that. It might not be the time to get much from OH's family given their losses recently but do you have family on your side who can support you?

I've found my GP to be a great source of support recently, just as an ear - and they then have the start of the story already if things don't improve and you need to go back to them for more support. They're not just there to dish out pills and potions ... I think alot of folk dismiss their GPs too easily - its just when you have a pain or an ache. Not sure what yours is like but might be worth a punt? Specially if you're not sleeping so well or not feeling like you're getting a good nights sleep because you constantly dream.

Feel free to PM me if you want to chat or offload .....

Mrs SP x

Poor you. i dont really have any advise except try and take it easy.

hope everything works out.

puddle

xx

Sending you a huge ? to help you cope.

x

Thank you all so much for your help, advise and hugs!!! I just need to get through the next couple of weeks.

Mrs SP - I have logged off work email, to settle my nerves I gave my team a call and everything sounds OK. I have done my urgent to do list which has also cleared my head.

Now this afternoon I am going to focus on getting better. I need to be better for Friday.

The house and OH job is out of my hands, so I need to be hopeful that it all works out but not worrying just in case it doesn't.

I have tried to get through to my GP, but have had no luck. I need to book an appointment for next week anyway so it would be good to be able to see her before then.

My OH mum died recently and we were there when she passed away - this affected me so much, but I didnt ever notice that I was very distraught over the death and H2B's loss. Everyone noticed but me.

I didnt come to terms with it all until my very good friend died in may (22 years old!) and all of a sudden a wave of depression enveloped me - I was a total fruitcase, crying, shouting, not eating, spending hours looking at photos - I even told H2B I wanted a baby ? I went to GP with H2B and he prescribed some mild anti-depressents which have helped massively - I no longer burst into tears over nothing - I feel in control and able to address my feelings and have dealt with my sense of complete chaos. I am slowly weaning off them and so far noticed no side effects - all in all I feel pretty ok - I am so glad I went to the GP. I really think you would benefit too from some one unbiased giving you some support even if you just sit at the docs and cry your eyes out like I did - lol poor bloke didnt know where to look.

Last but not least - give yourself some time, dont expect to feel better overnight - I am sending you get well soon vibes

Hey Shooting Star, how you doing????

Mrs SP x

Hi Im not going through anything nearly as stressful as you at the moment - but I have been really stressed with whats going on at work. I have found meditation has been helping me. Basic meditation that is, I find just sitting quietly for 10 minutes when I get home and shutting thoughts out of my head and just focusing on my breathing has really help and I feel a little less stressed. It wont change any of your problems but it might help you relax a bit. Worth a try, Ive only just started doing it and it has helped a bit.

I would get yourself some 'Rescue Remedy' from Boots as I find that helps. Try to take some time out for you and H2B as you both sound stressed...maybe schedule a nice long walk over the weekend - I find a feww hours in the fresh air (no matter how cold), followed by a nice pub lunch, few glasses of wine and an early night...that's my perfect remedy for a stressful time at work...that way you can start the week relaxed and refreshed. Sorry to hear about your OH's Nan...just be as supportive as you can. Poor you....lot's of ?s coming your way!