OT when you leave a job sorry this is a bit long - WWYD?

Do you get an exit interview before you go - this is normally the place to say why you are leaving.

Cheska - nothing. Not even sure if the 'Manager' will be there on my last morning. All very strange. Think they have been summed up when someone said to me "must be difficult working with David Brent day in, day out - no wonder you're leaving - thought you would have left long before now!"

If my book ever gets a film deal I WILL be casting Ricky Gervais to take the role IYKWIM?

I think that since you are leaving you should do whatever you feel right, if you feel the need to "prepare" your staff then do it,if you feel the need to tell your manager he/she is a prick then do it, you have nothing to loose at the end of the day ?

Be very careful. If you do feel the need to tell him the truth upon leaving (and you have every right to ask for an exit interview to be done btw) be professional, keep it unemotional (so stick to the facts), don't personalise it in any way with 'he said, she said' ...

Sadly, you do have something to lose at the end of the day - your reputation ... not sure what industry you work in but in some industries its a VERY small world. As tempting as it is to turn round and tell someone exactly what you think of them just because you are leaving, its better to do it in a way that they can't use against you .....

IE in references (or lack of as they'd probably refuse to give a ref if you really pissed them off as they can't give a 'bad' ref, but can refuse to give a ref which is seriously damaging for you) ... or just word of mouth 'slagging' if your industry is small ....

So sit and almost script out what you want to say, stick to it, and don't personalise it. But its about your views and reasons for leaving - not about what your staff think of this individual.

Appraisals are NOT the place to air your dirty washing about someone either and your staff should know that! Sadly off loading their problems on to you isn't going to really help other than make them feel better for a short while and make you feel *** about leaving them with this individual and ending up stressing about them and how they feel.

I'm in exactly the same boat but I'm HR - but the people coming to me with, in some cases, serious issues about their managers refuse to talk to me "on the record" so I've ended up carrying around a huge amount of 'baggage' for these people and its actually made me really very unwell recently, so I've now had to take my own advice and step back and if these people don't have the balls to deal with it officially, then I can't help them. Harsh but true. I can listen all they like but there is only so much I can soak up, and it leaves ME very frustrated as an HR person that I can't do anything about these issues because everyone is scared of the outcome so just want to talk 'off the record'. And its been constant for the last month, day in day out and I really am now exhausted by it all.

I also have a boss who I can't go to for support about these issues so I really am like a little island floating around in a lot of peoples crap just now and it sucks quite frankly. So I do absolutely sympathise with you and how you feel.

Just don't damage your own future but doin' anything rash on your last day. Keep it professional but make sure he knows why you are leaving.

Thanks guys,

Mrs SP - its not easy is it - people tell you things because they think you're the 'right' person to tell and don't realise what that puts on you.

I've been mulling this over over the weekend and having the belief that you always work professionally that that should also apply to leaving.

I also came to realisation that the Manager has always been as they are and talking to them about it isn't going to change a thing.

I'm staying in contact with my team and as soon as I find something for any of them, they'll be the first to know!

Any comment I make will be in a general context and perhaps give them the impression its more from our customers i.e "I was asked if my going would mean you would be around more" or something like that.

However, their track record suggests they won't even be there tomorrow morning! FYI I have today off (normal work pattern) so have only 4 hours tomorrow! Oooooh yes!!!!