pathetic - hate being alone - tips please!

It's a tough time of year for keeping your spirits up - I struggle a bit on Saturdays when H is working.

Best thing I find is to make a list of the things you want to get done that day first thing. Set yourself a time to have them done by, and a reward lined up for when you have (nice hot bath, cup of tea and a piece of cake, DVD you've been meaning to watch, whatever). Getting started is always the hardest bit, but it's sooo worth it for that feeling of crossing everything off your list for the day.

Thank you - i'll try that tomorrow. i have a week plan but i feel a bit intimidated by it! so i will try doing a more hour by hour plan tomorrow first thing ?

glad it's not just me! i feel like a wimp when it's not even like i live alone. the closest i've ever come to that was when i was a student and lived in halls!

I'm also on half term and have a huge pile of coursework marking to do. It is hard to look at the same four walls all day, but if you have work to do you have to try and motivate yourself to start. Once you get going, it's amazing how quickly the time goes. I find summer holidays the hardest as there's nothing work related to do that takes them all up like there is during half terms, Christmas and Easter.

When we first moved in together, I hated being in the house alone. I came from a busy house and to go to being in the house myself until OH came home at 10pm most nights.

I did the same as Tulip. Made lists up of what needed done, I even asked OH to make lists up for me too. ? With time limits on them. I would make arrangements go to my mums/friends for lunch/dinner or just go round for a couple of hours. Dig out old films that I hadn't watched for ages, pamper myself as well.

ps. I now love being in the house by myself. I'm off at weekends, whereas OH is off Monday & Tuesday so we never really have days off together. He was off ill on Saturday and I was wishing he was at work. ?

Thank you! and thank you july for knowing it is possible to train yourself into enjoying it! ?

I'm a teacher too - but I love being on my own and H is away this week so I've changed the sheets on the bed so they are lovely and clean just for me, I've been planning the TV I want to watch and the DVDs I want to catch up on and studiously ignoring the files I've brought home that are in the hallway! I've always loved my own company, and I get very frustrated that I never get anytime to myself anymore so this is a real treat.

Mind you, as an ITT subject mentor I'm very disappointed that you aren't up to your eyes in assignments ?, you'd better not be one of my mentees (is that a word?!).

Do the things you can't usually do (I think pjs all day is a good place to start!).

I am up to my eyeballs in work, see op. it isn't particularly helpful to have someone say "i'm very disappointed... you'd better not be one of my mentees" - as i said, i struggle with depression and being alone, and this affects how effectively i work. i'm glad you don't have a problem with being on your own. i certainly couldn't stay all day in my pjs without feeling like a waste of flesh, it makes me feel very depressed if i don't achieve things.

thank you for trying to be helpful, but for future reference if you do have any depressive ITT students i'd try to avoid using blaming language if they say that they are struggling.

i hope this all makes sense, my heart's pounding.

Moomoo, to be fair I think you're reading CarolineT's post all wrong. It read to me like she was having a little joke with you, hence the winking icon.

Fair enough ostrich, emotions are a bit distorted with me at the moment. i was trying very hard to phrase it in a non-snide way though, i don't want to piss anyone off. but as someone who is currently low, i was all over the place when i read that, even with a wink. i'm not after a flounce, honest!

Can I loan you a stressed out husband and a teething 7 month old? I'd kill for a week alone right now! I'll take nightimes alone too, if I may! ?

I always find a run or workout helps lift the spirits - is that an option for you? I also like to cook or bake when I get time alone. Cake is very therapeutic.

Moomoo - I think you missed the smilie ?

I'm completely the opposite to you. I lived alone for several years and regularly had whole weekends where I would only see people if I made the effort to go out. I now live with my husband but I still like my time alone. I've been out of work for the last 6 months so I'm on my own again until H gets home at 5.30-6pm. Next week he's off on a work trip so won't see him from Monday morning until late on Thursday. As much as I love living with my H, I do enjoy my time alone. I do understand though, that it takes some getting used to so my tips for you are:

• make a list of what you want to get done - you have school work, but also house work, DIY, hobbies, seeing friends and family. You can choose to do nothing but you won't get bored while there is stuff to do!
• make a sublist of what you want to achieve each day and tick it off as you go along. If getting started is tough, then set a timer for 15 minutes and then promise yourself 15 minutes of hitching/reading/TV/some other non-work thing
• get out of the house daily - even if you just go for a walk around the area you live in for 1/2 an hour or something
• make chit chat with anyone you see while you are out. Say "morning/afternoon" when you walk past someone
• when you are in the house, have the radio or TV on - silence (or more like the creakings of your house) can take a while to get used to
• get up with your H (unless its silly o'clock), get showered, have breakfast, get dressed, put on make up and do your hair so you can go out/answer the door without a thought (I can't stay in PJs all day either!)
• don't forget to drink regularly (no, not the wine - water!). I find (even now) that without the routine, I forget to drink and get dehydrated easily and that makes me headachy and grumpy.

You're one day down and just 4 to go - it'll fly by!

Another teacher on half term here. ? Today has felt like Sunday for me as OH has been off work, but for tomorrow and the rest of the week I have a to-do list and a list of treats. I can have the treats as long as I do the stuff on the other list. It's the only way I can motivate myself in holidays, otherwise I'd spend my week in bed.

Whereabouts are you? If you're anywhere near me (I'm in South Brum) I'll add a hitched mini-meet to my list of treats and take you for a coffee x

Thanks for all this, ladies, and thanks for bearing with me. some friends have moved a meeting i'd suggested to somewhere i can't get to, and i just sat and wailed here! they're completely within their rights to rearrange it to suit them, i just felt as if there was some massive conspiracy!

some great suggestions here, thanks all. tomorrow i will get up with h, have a shower and get dressed (presentably) , make myself a do-able to-do list for the day with rewards, ignore everything else and try to get on with it. i think one of my treats will be walking into the village and saying hello where i used to work, and then going to look at possible new specs.

thanks again?

eta: bless you, lumpy - i'm in north manchester but thank you - very kind thought!

Oh dear, I'm sorry you're finding things tricky at the moment. I have to say I'm one that loves time on my own and I'm sometimes a bit miffed when my H is off at the same time as me (I'm a teacher too!).

If I wasn't going away for this half term I'd have offered to meet up with you as I'm in South Manc. Could always do that another time once term has started again if you'd like to.

I'd go with what others have said, they have good ideas.

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Have you got an ipod for the walk into the village? I always find a blast of good tunes does wonders for my soul.

?

I adore being by myself - sad loaner icon - but would it be an option to go and work in a library or even coffee shop or together at you Mum's?

I know when I was at university I used to really struggle with long days at home and went to the library instead where I could have regular coffee breaks etc?

I also agree about making lists - I found making myslef a timetable helpful - filled with lots of treats. Hope you're freeling brighter today.

Sweetheart, I really wasn't having a go at you it was a BIG wink - I know from my student teachers that they are working their backsides off to keep above water at the moment and how hard this year is when you are training, I was only kidding you. I'm so sorry you were upset, you really did mistake my intention. I actually told my students not to work too hard this week and to find some down time - I really hope that you do the same.

Like I said, really sorry if I offended you - hope you are having a lovely pampery chilled out day.?

Bless you Caroline, thank you for the lovely message. Sorry I overreacted yesterday, I think I must have been really paranoid. I behave terribly with my h sometimes when I'm low - he says something, I feel guilty and get all defensive and end up feeling worse... sorry to do the same on here! I'm feeling much more at peace today (thanks to the advice of the lovely ladies of hitched!) and everything seems good and calm, I've done some work and met up with friends for a chat about all the ongoing work!

thanks again to everyone

And bless you for that reply, I've just logged back on before I go to bed to see if you'd seen it, I was worried I'd really caused you grief. Glad things seem brighter today, and hope they stay that way!

I've worked at home for 5 YEARS now and it's tough! Day in, day out, and the same four walls and no-one to pass the time with, or even say 'hello' to. I think the key to ticking along is to stick to a routine. I get up early with my OH each day, and we eat breakfast together, so at least the day starts with conversation. I also make sure that chores are done outside 9-5, that the bed is made, and that I am sat presentably at my desk by 9am (unless I get distracted by LK Today ?). I think that having a set routine helps as when you're struggling to focus, you know it's only x amount of time until lunch/end of day/etc.