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Beginner November 2015

People who wont say if they are coming MOAN!

MissJag, 30 October, 2014 at 16:57 Posted on Planning 0 12

I have moaned about this before but I am going to do it again. We get married one week today (I am so excited!)

On our invites, sent out in July, we asked people to respond by 30th Sept. I spent the first 2 weeks of October chasing people who hadn't bothered their arses to let us know if they were coming or not. Had responses like 'Oh didn't realised it was RSVP' and 'Yeah think we will be OK' or 'Well not sure what we are doing that weekend' I Think it is just bloody rude - we are paying for a meal for these people and even if we weren't as a friend of mine pointed out its an honour to be invited to someones wedding, it shows they want you to spend their very special day with them.

Any way last week we went to the hotel with the final numbers and rough table plan and paid the bill. Yesterday one of OH friends rings him and says 'Sorry can't make wedding (exactly one week away!) as we are flying off on holiday that day. Its our wedding anniversary next week'. So you didn't know you were planning on going on holiday, it just appeared out of nowhere like magic, rude inconsiderate b*****ds.!!!!

Now we have the problem do we invite someone else at short notice or just let those 2 meals go to waste..... How would you feel if you were invited to a wedding as an after thought? I am not sure what to do.

12 replies

Latest activity by InkedDoll, 31 October, 2014 at 13:12
  • J
    Beginner November 2015
    jesikab4u ·
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    My oh and I were invited to a wedding once as people had dropped out. We couldn't go unfortunately as we couldn't get the time of work. But I wasn't offended or anything that we was to be filled in as people couldn't go. Now getting married I would probably feel the same as you though and would now feel bad if I invited someone because people couldn't come. But would not feel offended if I had a last minuite invite.

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  • M
    Beginner September 2015
    mrsh2b89 ·
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    I would definitely invite someone else, I wouldn't be offended at being invited because someone else had dropped out.

    How annoying though, some people are so rude.

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  • R
    Beginner December 2014
    rambosmum ·
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    We've done exactly this (all be it 6 weeks before) and they are aware they are filling someone's space, but we explained that we really wanted them there but had to prioritise family, who we actually didn't want there (parents paying for some so had to invite them). Thy understood and were thrilled to be invited.

    And yes, some people are very inconsiderate and seem to have no sense of manners, etiquette or how expensive weddings are!

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  • Paula @ Ollievision
    Paula @ Ollievision ·
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    Offer the places to an evening only guest who has confirmed they are coming.

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  • MadamRed
    Beginner April 2017
    MadamRed ·
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    Or, you could "pay it forward" and ask the venue to donate (the cost of) those two meals to a local soup kitchen/homeless shelter. Of course, they may prefer to make profit on non-attendees, but it would be a nice gesture.

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  • HelenSomerset
    Beginner September 2014
    HelenSomerset ·
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    I have been to a wedding before where we were upgraded from evening to day guests because someone dropped out. I was excited and didn't take offence at all. Majority of people (bar a few annoying ones who drop out) understand that weddings are expensive and couples are limited on numbers. Get some people asked! I'll volunteer to come - love a wedding!

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  • L
    Beginner July 2016
    Little_MrsA2B ·
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    I think you could invite someone else to fill the space.

    Having said that, I was once 'upgraded' from being an evening only guest and I thought it was rude (mind you, it was the evening before the wedding I was 'upgraded'!!). I felt like if I wasn't 'good enough' to be there in the day in the first place, and now I'm a last minute afterthought, no I won't be rearranging things!

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  • Knees
    VIP August 2012
    Knees ·
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    I don't see how anyone who is "upgraded" could possibly feel offended. They obviously know they were never in the running for being a day guest, so I'd rather be top of the evening guest list than bottom of it!

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  • kimiu
    Beginner June 2015
    kimiu ·
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    View quoted message

    That's a really good way of looking at it!!

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  • porkchop
    Beginner September 2012
    porkchop ·
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    We 'bumped' up quite a few from evening to day, no one was offended, or if they were it didnt stop them accepting the invite!

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  • B
    Beginner June 2015
    Brooksy ·
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    I was once upgraded to a day guest on the day of the wedding, OH and I had attended the church to see my cousin get married, we had known from the beginning that they weren't inviting cousins to the reception because of the size of the venue (and the number of cousins!) but on the day 2 people didnt show up so as we were already dressed and at the church they asked us if we wanted to come! I wasn't offended in the slightest, just happy to get a chance to celebrate Smiley smile

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  • InkedDoll
    VIP January 2015
    InkedDoll ·
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    My aunt and uncle still haven't said if they're coming to ours. My aunt works with my mum, so she sees her almost every day and still hasn't said anything! I suspect they won't come as they are not very sociable and probably don't want to drive the long distance, and that is totally fine, but I wish they'd just say. All it's cost us is £10 for the meal deposit - and I guess the cost of two favours, but I'll happily bring them into work and give them to someone else - but it's the principle of the thing.

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