Please help - 1 week till wedding, but I am going to somehow have to cancel

Oh jeez, that's terrible! I'd stick strong to your guns and remember that marriage is about trust. I hope you find your feet soon.

I totally agree with all the previous comments. You are absolutely doing the right thing. I know from experience that leopards do not not change their spots. After spending 21 years married to my ex who had 5 affairs whilst we were together. Every time he begged for forgiveness, promised me faithfully he wouldn't do it again, threatened suicide if I didn't take him back and hounded me until I took him back. I was weak and couldn't finish with him, told myself I loved him too much to live without him and it is the one big regret in my life that I spent some of the best years of my life on a man who didn't deserve me.

I'm now with a man who I love dearly and trust implicitly. He's the best thing to happen to me. I just wish I'd realised years ago that not all men are like my ex and had been as brave as you've been.

I know how much you're hurting right now, just stay strong and always remember that you're doing absolutely the right thing. He doesn't deserve to have you in his life and you deserve a man you can trust and treats you with the respect you deserve. Every day it will get a little easier and in time you will look back and know without a doubt that you did the right thing. Take care. xx

One strong lady ! What a horrific thing to happen to you but as you said thank goodness you found out now rather than after the wedding . Don't let his mum guilt trip you , if it was me I would never trust or look at the person the same way again . I hope you're friends and family and of course us Internet weirdys give you loads of support . X

Giving it "a few days" doesn't change what he has done. Well done for being so strong and doing what was best for you. Lots of love x

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Good Girl! I've been depriving myself of takeaways to make sure I get my dress body. One thing I would suggest though, dont let all the hard work you have put in to getting the ultimate brides body go to waste, you worked hard for it so flaunt it!

Tell his mother where she can stick her opinion, leaving it a few days would have achieved nothing. It would have just made things even harder. She is going to try stick up for him and say you were harsh because she wont want to admit her little boy can do any wrong regardless of what an absolute tool he has been.

You are incredibly strong and although you are hurting now, you will look back on this and realise how proud of yourself you are. The 'easy' thing would have been to go along with things, you have shown a wonderful strength of character and in time you will find someone who deserves you and will make you happy. All this means is that there is someone better out there waiting for you to find them. Big hugs, look after yourself x

I was once told that the first emotion that you feel when something like this happens is your true gut feeling and should be acted upon, every emotion after then is like a grieving process. So if these feelings do creep up remember how you first felt and stay with it, you are strong and you will get through this. Just rely on those that support you to give you honest advice. Good luck xx

Best of luck. As others have said you have been very brave and just...fantastic! You should be proud. Be kind on yourself and spoil yourself, as you are likely to go through a crazy range of emotions but as they say, time is healer xx

Sorry haven't been around this weekend so only just catching up with this. So sorry to read about this but sounds like you've been fantastically brave and I'm glad you haven't let him get away with. I know it feels horrible now, but I think you've definitely made the right decision. You don't deserve someone like that. x

I couldn't just read and run. This is an horrendous situation and you are incredibly brave. You have totally done the right thing no matter how hard it is it will work out for the best. What a stupid stupid man. And ignore his mother, she is always going to be on her sons side. You are so strong. I'm really pleased you have such good support from your friends and family. Surround yourself with them now, and pop over to OT too

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That's bizarre. Why would anyone want their child to marry someone they weren't completely committed or didn't care enough about to be faithful to? It's their happiness too. Steady on listening to that message though. Maybe only play it if you're having a wobble and thinking about taking him back.

Hope the chinese was lovely. Can't remember the last time I ate without feeling guilty.

Been thinking of you a lot this weekend, Sx

Twinkle Twinkle, you will be fine....... You have done something incredibly difficult but it's the right thing. I cancelled my wedding nearly 10 years ago (I had to think how long ago it was) because of him been unfaithful. At the time it hurt like hell but it was the best thing I ever did! In time you will find your Mr Right who will treat you as you deserve to be treated. You will look back and think what a lucky escape. (((Hugs))).... The next few months will be tough but it will make you a stronger person. Thinking about you. X

Couldn't read and run. You are amazing.

As Jojo85 said, if you would find OT easier you are more than welcome over there.

Twinkle, you're bluddy awesome!

Thank you girls and thank you for sharing your stories. I know I would look back and regret it if I went ahead with it. I just want to fast forward now and get past next Saturday first then selling the house then healing my broken heart . One of my bridesmaids has asked me if I want to go away for a week next Saturday to distract me and I think I might just do it! I have spent the last 8 years with Craig so its going to be scary starting again. I might move over to OT but I will probably come off here in the next few days. I really appreciate all of your support xxx

I think your BM has a good idea- take yourself away from everything- come back and start a fresh.

We will be here take care of yourself x

Give it a few days?! is she mad?!!

Your friend sounds bloody fab. That's so nice of her to suggest a week away & might be nice for you to just get a change of scenery and clear your head.

We have just booked a week in Vegas! Actually feel a little excited!!!! xx

You will have an amazing time!! Good for you, stay strong xx

I really do feel for you, I hope that you'll realise that you are worth far more than what you have been put through. Going away and changing the environment / surroundings show that you are a strong lady and you will one day, hopefully in the not too distant future, realise what you've saved yourself from.

The support on here has been overwhelming and hopefully the lovely brave ladies on here openly sharing their experience helps you feel a little bit better.

I'm so glad that you have something positive to look forward to. I couldn't imagine what you are going through but it sounds like you have a fab support network around you. We are always here if you need to talk.

Have a fantastic time.

Life is too short to wake up in the morning with regrets. So love the people who treat you right, forget about the ones who don't and believe that everything happens for a reason. If you get a chance, take it. If it changes your life, let it. Nobody said that it'd be easy, they just promised it would be worth it. Anon

Rather late to this but wanted to leave a message before you sign off Twinkle.

Massive weirdy ? to you. You are very strong and I always think the best message to give to someone who treats you like that is "see, I am perfectly fine without you". Even if inside you aren't strong, making sure he sees that you are will help you in the long run.

Maybe you could choose a date after which you won't listen to the message again? I think you should stop when you want to focus on healing. Although I imagine it will be difficult with owning a house together, have as little contact as you can and once you've sold up totally cut him out. I swear this is the best way as it gives you a fresh start. I always found it so helpful when I had to recover from a break-up.

Enjoy your trip to Las Vegas!! Whatever isn't sorted by the time you leave can jolly well wait until your return. With such supportive family and friends I'm sure all the detritus will be sorted soon and you can get on with your life. As others have said - onwards and upwards!

Oh Twinkle, I really feel for you. Your strength is an inspiration. Be proud that you have stuck to what you believe in. For what it's worth I echo everyone else in that you have absolutely done tbe right thing. Lean on your friends and family and enjoy Vegas. Wishing you all the best for getting through this horrendous time and coming out the other side as soon as possible x

I know I am really late to this thread, but just wanted to echo everybody else saying how strong you are. So many people get marreid with nagging doubts, knowing something wasn't right, and they all regret it. You have done the right thing for you.

Come off to OT if you fancy a chat.

Oh my goodness Twinkle I have only just read this entire post and I feel like I've been through a whole host of emotions just reading it so I can't even begin to imagine how you feel! You sound so amazingly brave and I actually cheered when I read that you have booked a week away to Vegas! No words I have will make you feel better but you have an absolutely fantastic attitude and I applaud you!! Have a fab time in vegas xxx

Good for you heading to Vegas! Hope you have a fantastic time and it takes your mind off things x

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Just read through the thread - have a bloody fantastic time! You deserve it.

You will be fine once you've got through the grieving. I ended my 12 year marriage almost 4 years ago though I knew it was over many years ago, I just wasn't strong enough to do anything about it. It was still scary, it was still sad, and dating again was just VERY scary lol. I was with this man from 23 to 36, so the best years of my life age-wise). But now the pain is over and I've met the most wonderful fella ever, I am so glad I did what I did.

Sounds like you've got a great support network, so make the most of it, give yourself time, and things WILL get easier in the end

Big hugs x

You are such a strong person, I cannot imagine the strength it took to take back control of the situation and cancel the wedding. No man like that deserves a woman like you !

Like everyone else I didn't want to read without being able to say good on you. You should be so proud of yourself. Have a totally amazing time in Vegas. Here's to your future xx

Like some others only just joined this late but wanted to wish you all the best and I hope you have a totally awesome time in Vegas, you really deserve it x

Again thank you ladies. Today has not been nice with everyone textin and asking questions about what has happened. About to do the whole Facebook relationship update! Want to get everything out the way so I can focus on more positive things!! Meeting him Thursday though to talk about the house etc. not looking forward to it but it needs to be done xxx