PLEASE HELP ME BUDGET FOR MY BIG DAY! any tips?

Hi,

I'm newly engaged and in the process of buying a house so in a similar position to you, so I'll be watching this thread!

I'm just starting out with my planning so don't have much done yet but I don't think you should worry about you're fiancees sister's wedding.

A friend of ours got married and had a massive expensive wedding at a very posh venue. His sister got married a couple of months later and she had a more relaxed wedding in a village hall which they decorated themselves and they had a barn dance which everyone loved!

Everyone said they had a better time on the second one because it was more relaxed and casual, I heard a few saying it was the best wedding they had been to.

I think if you can make your wedding personal to you all your guests will love.

As far as saving money I am using the internet and local and charity shops to buy things as cheaply as possible.

I am also making a my invitations, bouquet and decorations.

There are alot of really good tutorials online that are easy to follow.

I'm weighing up if it's cheaper to hire a marquee or go for a package at a hotel but I'm not decided on that yet.

The most important thing is that you have a day you and your fiancee love and remember.

Poppy x x

You don't need to compete with anything or anyone. Its your wedding, what alot of hitchers have realised is you cant please everyone and you make decisions for you and you OH. I have family helping with wedding things as well and its a big help. We are getting married before saving for a house, sometimes I think we should just go to a registry office and have a party afterwards but I guess you only do it once (well you know what I mean) I know some hitchers have made spreadsheets but we have a ISA account and just use that for savings. I was a graduate and I know how frustrating it is being skint, but it all comes together in the end. Pick up bargains and ask friends for their help. Budget weddings but personal are sometimes the best.

All the best in your planning.

Firstly, with trying to keep numbers down you could always just invite close family to the day then the rest of the family to the evening - people understand that weddings are expensive and so shouldn't get offended that you cant afford to feed them all twice. Or if you do want everyone to go to the ceremony you could always have a 'cheaper' wedding breakfast rather than the 3 course meal, like a picnic style buffet. Or have a later ceremony so that you only need to feed them once.

Secondly, don't try and beat the sister-in-law. They will be different yet good weddings in their own right. You could go for the more vintagey theme wedding and use things like used jam jars as candle holders and for vases for flowers to save money, and re-use the bouquets and put them in the vases for centrepieces yourself rather than paying a florist to do this.

Also, when you do get down to booking things, don't feel bad to tell people up front that you're on a budget and what this is. I have done this and saved loads from what they originally asked.

One tip I have is when ringing for quotes etc ie for a DJ call it a party, rather than a wedding and see what their quote is then, usually much less.

Oh and yes and I agree, ebay is my new best friend!!

Good luck xxx

You don't have to compete with family members, this year my cousin (and friend) got married with low numbers & a casual laid back day ... I'm getting married in december with a big wedding & all the works ... The weddings are based on our personalities and what we wanted/could afford. I have a lot of cousins who have kids like you so it was quite easy ... No cousins at the day do only invited on the evening. I know you would love to get married & it is important but buying a house is very expensive! I've been in my house almost 4years & can only just afford to get married with a lot of help from parents!! Maybes wait until you are in the job you want & start a savings plan together & go from there! Good luck xx

Congrats on your engagement and welcome to hitched!

When we were budgeting, we worked out roughly what we thought things cost, then double checked. We looked at what was important to us and what we couldn't compromise on. There was no competition element, our day is about us.

Look at off peak times - during the week, in the autumn and winter (e.g. October to March), or different ways of catering (hog roast? BBQ? carvery?). Are there things you won't compromise on (for me, it was a church wedding)? Can you hold the reception in someone's garden? Friends of mine got married (nothing fancy, literally just signed the papers) at a registry office, then had the big party in their garden.

Photography was important to us too so we were keen to make sure we had budgeted properly for that.

Look in sales or if you're crafty, make stuff yourself. I am looking at making my own invitations (though it is cheaper to get the stuff off PDA and put it together), bridesmaids' dresses I have been looking at patterns. Go silk instead of real flowers.

You have plenty of time, so you can shop around a lot!

Ebay is you friend here, i got my tiara for £3 and its lovely doesnt look like it was only £3!

I also have a large family so does my OH so he can only have his brothers, sisters, neices and nephews during the day and i have only picked the family that stay nearest for during the day rest are coming at night time

Make your own flowers and invites

I'd echo what a lot of the others have said. Don't try and out do you SIL, personally I just don't think it's worth it for just one day & I would much rather see the money spent on something like a house that will remain for years to come, try and have a different type of day to her, make it a fun, relaxed day with afternoon tea and giant garden games or have a late afternoon ceremony then you only have to feed guests twice.

How often do you see & spend time with the cousins? I'm not having any family from my Dad's side because we simply don't see them & I'd rather have friends I see regularly over family I don't any day. Could you do aunts & uncles to the day, cousins to the evening?

Or close family like siblings and parents to a registry office service and then everyone else to a party with maybe a blessing?

DIY as much as you can, invites, decorations, table centres. Some of the girls on here are doing table centres with things like jam jars with ribbon round them or frosting them and putting flowers in them.

Also, consider not having the things that can increase the cost for little real gain like (in my opinion) photo booths, sweetie tables etc

My OH didn't have much experience in weddings so I wrote a list of everything l could think of that traditionally you would have then added on the more recent additions like photo booth, sweetie table etc and we went down it and crossed off stuff we felt wasn't necessary.

Are you going to be paying for everything between the two of you ,or are any family going to help out? We are on an incredibly tight budget...I was lucky as my parents are paying for our honeymoon,and we get our wedding service included with that ,so for us it was outfits,rings and reception. We budgeted around £250 for outfits,£1000 for reception and £400 for wedding rings. We seem to be on budget so far. We are having our reception in a pub function room-their rates were the best we found,just £100 deposit and a cold buffet is £10.95 per head plus we get 2 staff. I'll be making my own decorations and a friend has offered to do a cake or cupcakes-you can buy stands for £15-£20 on Ebay. I found somewhere on the internet for invites at 50p each, and all the stuff for decorations on Ebay. We will be having between 40-50 people for our reception. There is a budget tool on here which is helpful as well,and lots of ideas from other Hitchers. Good luck :-) x

Wow! Thank you got some fab and wonderful ideas from you all, I love the idea of re-using bougets as table peices!

Please keep the ideas coming as I'm sure there are many brides in my position!

Thank all again! X

I am exactly in your position. 21, just finished uni and saving for a place together. I have a very large family as I have step aswell as 'blood' relatives. We have stuck to immediate family for the whole day and rest in the evening, so that helps cost, we wont be having any children at the wedding and plus ones will only be put in place if we really know someone's +1.(I refuse to be introduced to anyone on the wedding day).

Something that made a big difference to venue costs was the day. We are getting married on Friday and that saved 3000.

Look around you can find some lovely budget venues! Google is your new best friend! haha Ask people for favours, get people involved. You will be suprised at how many people you know that can offer help. I didn't know that my mums best friend did cake decorating, and now she has offered to do our cake for free!

Cars were something I am not happy spending money on so borrowing a family members nice mercedes and putting ribbons on it.

Like the other ladies said look on ebay/amazon even here on hitched and you will find stuff. And dont try and compete. Ur day will be amazing however you do it and you wont even think about what hers was like.

My advice would be that you can find some real bargains on the for sale part of this website. Many brides sell on their stuff after the wedding and I have picked up some great bargains through this website. It can save you a fortune.

But don't just buy things adhoc. Really think about what you might need.

We went to a small wedding I think it was 70 people max and had been done on a really tight budget but we think it was one of the best ones out of all 5 we have been to. That was because it was personal and a reflection of the couple.

Also another tip for you is to negotiate!

Also we've saved £300 by only offering one choice of meal or a veggie option we dont have any special dietry requirements so if someone doesnt like the roast chicken dinner were having or the pasta option thats tough it was an extra £5 per person to offer another option

Def dont try to compete with the SIL, its YOUR wedding.

There are a few tips here:

Veil: I used Margaret who was fab. Best I found, sends samples of tulle to match the colour & offers a money back guarantee- you cant get that at a bridal shop. her prices are fab too. Just email her with some pics of the dress or an idea of what you want so she can quote. ****@*******.*****.**.**

Shoes: Bought from a factory outlet, end of line for £10! You could buy a colour other than white (silver, blue etc) that could be worn again.

Vases/centrepieces: Bought off ebay. Keep an eye on the 'celebrations', 'bulk' & 'wedding' sections for other brides selling their centrepieces.

Centrepiece candle holders: charity shops. Each table was matching, but slightly different to other tables. No one would notice though & for about £1 per table with 3-5 candle holder on, it saved a great deal.

Centrepiece mirrors: Wilkinsons sell them, but are very small (they can be deceptively small in pics on the internet). I had to buy them new, but sold them afterwards.

Centrepiece flowers & bouquets: Luckily we have a bulk flower market near us & mum had done a course years ago. You can see alot of tutorials online though to learn & save.

Favour boxes: Poundland often have theme events (halloween, easter & wedding themes). I bought bride & groom shaped boxes for 10p each!!! Supposed to be cake boxes, but I used them as favour boxes. Keep an eye out there. They also have little pails if you wanted buckets as centrepieces or favours.

Favour thankyou stickers: Vistaprint. I bought stickers that had the wedding date, our names & the phrase 'Thankyou for being part of our special day'. These were stuck on the favour boxes & didnt cost alot at all. (Esp if you choose the slowest delivery option from vistaprint)

Favours: I got 2 of the those 1kg cadburys blocks that they sell off cheap after Christmas & fathers' day. Melted down then added different things: cherries, nuts, dried fruit etc & put into shaped ice moulds/chocolate moulds. Everyone loved them & none were left on the tables.

Other favour ideas (always cheaper if home-made): jam in jars from charity shops or friends, infused oils- chilli, rosemary, garlic etc, biscuits, marshmallows, fudge, coconut ice, toffee etc.

Meal: You can serve your wedding cake as a dessert then only pay for a 2 course meal. As others said, have a later wedding then serve only 1 meal, or a picnic style after sandwiches/tea cakes, or a BBQ style.

Guests: If there are LOTS of children which will bump the price up, dont invite them! I wasnt prepared to spent a ridiculous amount on everyone elses children. Sometimes adults like a night out on their own & the money could be used elsewhere.

Cake: Hired the cake stand from a decorating shop, aunt made the cake & mum decorated it. Again, you can learn alot online. M&S do lots of wedding cakes & they can look fab. Not too expensive either. I really wanted a 3 tiered cake, but with only 60 guests, a single cake would have been enough. My bottom tier was an iced cake, & the top 2 layers were polystyrene that was iced to look like a cake. No one knew & it made the whole thing much lighter & cheaper!

Guest book: Rather than an actual book, one cousin had a table cloth than got signed by everyone. He mother then embroided all the signatures. Another option is sending out a triangle of bunting with the invite. The guest then decorates/embroiders/writes on it as desired. On the wedding day they bring it along & its gets pinned up to make a decoration across the door that will be kept afterwards.

Invites: I used https://www.pdacardandcraft.co.uk/. You have the option of getting the invite completely made, or 100% DIY or somewhere in between. They had the largest range of card/colours/textures I found, & were reasonably priced & helped choose the card weight & colour.

Order of the Day & Thankyou cards: Printed at home. Cheaper than getting them professionally done, was able to add pics on the thankyou's & still looked really good.

Can't think of anything else at the moment, but you can certianly save in many areas.

Welcome to Hitched.

Keep an eye on the for sale section on here too!