poor h2b but what do i do?

I really feel for you and what an awful situation to be in.

If its any comfort....my best friend had a similar scenario. Her OHs family didn't approve and boycotted the wedding. Her own family (who are lovely) compensated and made a real fuss of him (and still do....her mum refers to him as MY Peter!) and the day was wonderful. 25 years down the line they are still happily married. (in fact you'd be hard pressed to find a more solid couple)

At the end of the day whether they like you or not they are going to have always missed their sons/brothers/cousins etc wedding and will likely always regret it.

There is nothing you can do but make sure you have as many people who love you both there as possible, and anyway you wouldnt want them there critising your day. Have you lots of joint friends going?

x

This isn't your fault... and i was kind of in this position at the start (although not quite as drastic as yours)

It's really horrible to watch your OH be so dissapointed and really quite hurt, but other than ringing his mother and trying to talk to her theres nothing you can do.

It's his mothers problem! Maybe try telling her how much she is hurting him???

Good Luck

x

I'm going through a similar thing, all I can do is be there for my OH and make sure he doesn't feel too down.

Look like with 2 weeks to go theres nothing your going to be able to do, youve obviously tried your best. Maybe an idea to write a letter to ur OH on your wedding day saying how much you love him, how happy you are and even tho his family wont be there, As from today hell have the only family he will ever need ect ect.. x

Thanks for all your advice! luckily my mum has already thought about it and written a letter herself to him to say you do have a family, ours and that as far as shes concerned hes as much of a son to her as her own(but in a much nicer way!lol) i think that might help, just dont want it to dampen his day thats all, cant be nice for him.............

maybe have a chat with his dad again - he maybe thinks his mum will be there and doesnt want to come incase they "clash".

Its not you fault that his family dont want to come so maybe you could invite a lot of his friends instead?

Sounds like she's not a very nice woman in my opinion. You say you get on with his dad, could you maybe ring him or go and see him and say that it would really mean a lot if he could make it, even if it's just to the ceremony to see you exchange your vows. As far as his mum goes, sounds like you cant lose anything by saying something to her, it just depends whether it will cause any hassle so close to your special day.

The letter that your mum has written sounds lovely, hope you get something sorted x

It's really tough. Very different situation as we are both very close to our families but after we got married and she wanted to move back to Camberley where she comes from I felt very cut off and isolated from my family which is probaby similar to how your H2b is feeling.

To give you an idea how close we are my mum, dad and elder brother live in the same street, with my eldest brother and nan & grandad just two streets away and we do still go on holiday together either with my mum and dad or with one of my brothers, but being around 5 hours away it's difficult to get home very often now, maybe onece or twice a year is all I manage.

My wife's family really made up for it by including me in theirs and I feel a lot better about being seperated from my own family because I'm they've welcomed so much into theirs. I love my in laws, it's usually me suggesting to my wife we should take her mum on holiday or out for the day.

I think that's the key, let him feel wanted, welcomed and loved.