Prat of a MIL

Why is it always MILs who attempt to match the bridesmaids/wear white?

At the end of the day, she's the one who'll look a prat - people will talk even if it doesn't bother you, and she'll see the error of her ways in the photos. Let her be.

I'm in a 'screw them all' mood - can you tell?

This happened at my uncle's wedding - his MIL wore a dress so close on the pastel colour scale to the BMs dresses that in all the official photos, she looks like a 4th bridesmaid. She was absolutely gutted about it - she didn't realise that her peach dress would look so similar to the baby pink bm dresses under bright lighting/camera flash. So, I would point out to your MIL (in a nice way, if that's possible), how similar it could end up looking. She may think that b/c she's gone for a different shade of pink, it will be OK, and would actually be mortified to end up looking like the BMs.

I do absolutely feel your pain, although in my case it's my mum, and not the FMIL, who is causing all the consternation - and thankfully she hasn't actually purchased anything yet!

bit of background: my dad very wonderfully paid for an expensive designer dress for me to wear to my Uni graduation, as a gift. My mum knew how excited I was, knew what the dress looked like (sleeveless, cream with green flowers, a brown satin belt, and a circle skirt), and then went out and bought: a cream dress with shoulder straps,a circle skirt. and green flowers. and a black belt. and this was OK, because "the belt is a different colour". She refused to wear a different outfit b/c she "couldn't find anything else she liked", and in the photos of my grad, it looks like we are wearing mother/daughter versions of the same dress. I was gutted, and let her know it. I may be a horribly bitchy daughter, but to this day when I look at the photos from my grad I get irritated.

That was 8 years ago. She couldn't do it again, at my wedding, right??! To try and avoid any dress issues, I've been super specific with her: "mum. my colours are going to be dusky lavender and sage green. i haven't decided yet which colour to put the bm's in. i don't want your outfit to "match" the colour scheme, please look for dresses in any other colour". "mum, i really want to look for a wedding dress with a sweetheart neckline and a lace overlay, with 3/4 length sleeves".

And what is the FIRST MOB dress she pins on her pinterest board?! Sage green, knee length dress with a white lace 3/4 sleeve jacket. Caused murders when I was less than enthusiastic about it.

I wouldn't be able to resist saying something! "Of course you can wear whatever you feel comfortable in. I'm just concerned that people might think you are a bridesmaid if you wear a long pink dress."

Haha my MIL tried to coordinate with our colour scheme too.

I don't want to put a cat among the pigeons here but - whilst I appreciate it's a really important day - surely what matters is not what anyone is wearing but that your family are there, having a great time? You got to pick the dress which makes you happy and feel the most confident - and your families need this too, because they are also going to be on show and feeling nervous about photos/meeting the other family/upsetting you.

I get married in June and have a general colour scheme but then have given people freedom to choose the precise styles and colours they want and worked round it - we have at least 4 shades of 'purple' in the general 'ivory and purple' theme because different people like different ones.

When I look at my photos, I know I'll be focusing on happy, smiling faces and not the details of anyone's dress/shoes/nail polish - because that, to me, is what getting married is about.

Libby - you must be blessed with a saintly MIL.

As I said, I have no issue with what she wears. If she wants to look silly it certainly won't affect my day. I do find it unimaginably tedious to deal with the emotional durge she throws my way for hours over NOT doing XYZ, THEN putting up with her proceeding to do XYZ. Might I also add... the only person who puts the onus on doing XYZ is HER DAMN SELF. It's a vicious circle of tedium and now I have to be legally related to her. It's almost more than I can bear. *pulls hair out*

To summarise. Its a character niggle, nothing to do with her fashion choices.

I shan't mind her looking like a meringue on the day - but one word about feeling silly around the bridesmaids and I shall send her to her room

?

Ah, bless - if she wants to look like a bm wannabe, let her. It won't matter on the day and you can always ask your tog to photoshop her into another colour for the pictures ?

I had my ear bent for 6months by FMIL about colour schemes and what she should wear. She asked to see the bms dresses so she 'could check the colour' - they are in a light but bright blue. My mum has a white dress covered in blue flowers (nothing like the bms colour, but it complements well) so MIL asked what colour I thought would look nice next to them all. My response was something along the lines of 'well, a navy blue might look nice and give some depth of colour' 'oooh,yes' she replied 'I like wearing navy blue' (in fact the only dress she currently owns is navy) and then she asked me to look out for some outfits for her when I was out shopping. So, that I did: I sent her pictures of no less than 15 outfits, all navy. Her response 'why are you sending me pictures of navy, I don't suit navy'

I despair.

I have decided to bite the bullet with my FMIL, I am going to take her shopping and buy her outfit! That way she can't argue! But also because she doesn't have a lot of money and definitely doesn't have something appropriate she can wear!

Reading this makes me realise how lucky I am to have a lovely MIL!

That must be annoying though, BUT atleast she's not wearing white ?

xxx