pregnant friends

I don't know, obviously her priorities are changing and this ia huge thing for her and she wants to share it with you. I've never been in your position as I'm a parent myself, and I love hearing about my friends pregnancies, saying that I think I ask them loads of questions ?

Your friendship will change but it's how you both adapt to the change is what it's important. Every now and again could you maybe try and steer the conversation away from pregnancy and babies?

I really don't know what to suggest, but there are others on here that have posted about similiar situations so hopefully they can help.

I'm sick of talking about it in real life to be honest. I'm 12 weeks, and am very aware that I'm becoming a baby bore. ☹️

When feeling sick is all you can think about, it does get a bit difficult to comprehend talking about anything else.

Hopefully the novelty will wear off and you'll get some different conversation out of her soon.

I don't know, I have a friend just like this so would love to see what people suggest.
This is her second pregnancy and it's even more boring the second time round, especially as she announces them so early (within minutes of conception I think) so I am subjected to the full saga. She has always been like this though about everything. She loves a drama and nothing is straight forward. If I have a cold, she has pneumonia. If work is a bit rubbish for me, she is signed off for weeks with stress. She is at the doctors every week with something (even when not pregnant) and is always 'sobbing her heart out' (her words) over something. Apart from a couple of polite questions at the beginning of a conversation, it's all about her. I am considering culling but am not sure how.

Sorry, that's become a rant about my friend and does nothing to help you! Hopefully your the novelty will wear off for your friend and as her pregnancy progresses she will talk about other things. I guess it's just all new and exciting at the moment.

Kookachu, I think you're being a bit harsh actually. Being upduffed is a major thing for the person but not necessarily for everybody else in their life.

Anna, I think Halo is right and the novelty will wear off when things calm down. Other than make the right noises there is little more you can do.

I know I would struggle too with a friend who talked about nothing other than their pregnancy

Of course I am very happy for her and I know she is very excited. Perhaps I didnt explain very well - I don't know how to contribute to the conversation, that is all, it seems very one sided and I don't know if she is expecting me to say more than oooh and ahh iyswim. Ive known her for 22 years so I have no problems in listening to her whatsoever.
Kookachu - it kind of is a big deal because I don't have many friends where I am and so I talk to her a lot. She's like my sister, I just need to know how to respond to it all.

quote:Originally posted by POD
Kookachu, I think you're being a bit harsh actually. Being upduffed is a major thing for the person but not necessarily for everybody else in their life.

id="quote">I completely agree with POD. Pregnancy is often privately longed for and to say get a grip is too harsh.

I am more than happy to share the highs and lows of pregnancy with my friends but most (apart from hitchers) don't know how much I want a baby but can't have one. I would be really upset if I was starting to tire of the conversations and they thought 'I wish Mrs M would get a grip, my life has changed and now we talk about babies all the time'.

quote:Originally posted by Kookachu
Erm. Get a grip. She's going through a massive thing in her life and wants to talk to her friend about it.

If you don't want to talk about it, then tell her. I am sure she doesn't want to waste her breath if you are not interested in hearing it.

If my friends tell me to stop talking babies, I do. Then we laugh about it.

It's hardly a major deal is it?

She's 8 weeks pregnant and very excited.

id="quote">

I think youre being a little harsh TBH. Anna didn't say she wasn't interested but as a non pregnant person theres only so much you can talk about.

I think all you can do is show an interest, ask questions and then try and change the conversation, maybe ask her about other things going on in her life.

Must be hard but like others have said I'm sure it is the novelty with such a life changing event. I can understand how you must feel too though because if you don't have much interest in babies/pregnancy/kids right now then I suppose you really don't have much you can say really (by that I mean you probably don't know much about the ins and outs of it all because you're not at that stage in your life yet and therefore it is not as interesting to you, which is totally fair enough) I suppose it is a bit like when people go on and on about their wedding but you're not really that interested in getting married yourself. Anyway, I am waffling. I hope you can sort something out.

quote:Originally posted by Mrs Magic
I would be really upset if I was starting to tire of the conversations and they thought 'I wish Mrs M would get a grip, my life has changed and now we talk about babies all the time'.

id="quote">

wss. and fwiw if i did get pregnant i wouldn't be talking to anyone about it until at least 12 weeks. well apart from hitched of course ?

partly because a silly superticious (sp) part of me wouldn't want to, and partly as the intimate details of my conception are really on a need to know basis tbh

I can't tell her I don't want to hear about it, a) because I do, just not in high volume ? and b) I don't want to hurt her feelings. When I said "I want my friend" back is because we speak almost on a daily basis in some form or another. And I count on her for support as well, as my only real close friend. So it has represented a huge change for me as well.

I have a friend who's pregnant at the moment and we're the other way - I want to talk about it when I see her but it's her second pregnancy and she's not that bothered ?. She told me a lot in the first though, but I don't think not being pregnant necessarily means that you can't show an interest. However if it's all that's talked about I can see how that would be wearing, but maybe if that's all she can think about it's up to you to start different topics of conversation? If she's only 8 weeks it's still new and scary, there's probably not that many people she is talking to about it yet, and the novelty will probably wear off. You could always introduce her to BT?

I can understand how you feel. I know very, very little about babies, pregnancy etc and don't know what I'd talk to my friends about if they were pregnant other than "ooohing" over what they told me.

However if I were pregnant I'd probably become a bit of an expert bore and would appreciate them nicely steering me away from baby talk if they were getting a bit fed up with me ?

I can completely understand how you feel Anna, how fab that you get to be an Auntie. Honorary Aunties are the best. ?

I think you just have to go with it for now, it's a hard one. I would just keep bringing up different subjects, even if she doesn't pick up on them straight away. Good luck! ?

Thanks everyone.

I rang her up a few days ago H was considering a transfer with work to America (major thing for us) to which she said - oh baby/maternity stuff over there is really cheap! ??

Kookachu - I also think that you are being a little bit hard and harsh on Anna, she didn't say in her post that she wasn't interested, she just said that she didn't know what to say to her friend. Of course her friend is going to be excited about being pregnant. All Anna can do is show an interest in her friends pregnancy and ask her friend about other things in her life.

quote:Originally posted by AnnaBanana

I rang her up a few days ago H was considering a transfer with work to America (major thing for us) to which she said - oh baby/maternity stuff over there is really cheap! ??

id="quote">

?

has everything always been all about her, or is it just this pregnancy?

i blame the hormones ?

quote:Originally posted by Kookachu
Ok, so my get a grip comment was out of order. I apologise for that AnnaBanana. It was rather rude.

But I do think it's something that you just have to put up with for now. I know I would for my friend, anyway. Like I said, probably not many people know, what with her being 8 weeks pregnant so she will assume, as a close friend, that you don't mind hearing about it. I absolutely chewed my best friends ear off for the first 12 weeks. I was worried about what could go wrong, how anxious I was, how rotten I felt, whether everything would be ok. It's what friends are there for.

It happens when anything major in your life occurs. When she got with her partner, all I heard about for about 3 months were their nights out, weekend away, amazing etc. Yes, some of it did bore me. But as a friend, I listened and took it all in. The novelty soon wore off. It does with anything.

id="quote">

Thanks Kookachu - I do see what you mean. It was pretty out of the blue that she was pregnant. I could have used more notice ? (joking!!). I will try and get a grip, at elast im learning that ginger tea apparetly works for morning sickness ??

Does the novelty really wear off?

I'm sure the novelty of being pregnant does but then there is the novelty of scans, buying a pram, painting the nursery, buying clothes, washing clothes, expectation of arrival, the arrival, first smile, first time they sleep through, their first word....

I should add that I am more than happy to share all of these things with friends, heck it's good to live vicariously! ? I just don't see the novelty of pregnancy/parenthood wearing off as there is always something new to share. ?

quote:Originally posted by kierenthecommunity

quote:Originally posted by AnnaBanana

I rang her up a few days ago H was considering a transfer with work to America (major thing for us) to which she said - oh baby/maternity stuff over there is really cheap! ??

id="quote">

?

has everything always been all about her, or is it just this pregnancy?

i blame the hormones ?

id="quote">

to be fair she does usually dominate conversations but im used to it after knowing her for so long and she has been my best friend anyway, but that comment made me laugh inside when she said it!! ?

quote:Originally posted by Mrs Magic
Does the novelty really wear off?

I'm sure the novelty of being pregnant does but then there is the novelty of scans, buying a pram, painting the nursery, buying clothes, washing clothes, expectation of arrival, the arrival, first smile, first time they sleep through, their first word....

id="quote">

oh noooooo ?

?

quote:Originally posted by Kookachu

quote:Originally posted by AnnaBanana

quote:Originally posted by Kookachu
Ok, so my get a grip comment was out of order. I apologise for that AnnaBanana. It was rather rude.

But I do think it's something that you just have to put up with for now. I know I would for my friend, anyway. Like I said, probably not many people know, what with her being 8 weeks pregnant so she will assume, as a close friend, that you don't mind hearing about it. I absolutely chewed my best friends ear off for the first 12 weeks. I was worried about what could go wrong, how anxious I was, how rotten I felt, whether everything would be ok. It's what friends are there for.

It happens when anything major in your life occurs. When she got with her partner, all I heard about for about 3 months were their nights out, weekend away, amazing etc. Yes, some of it did bore me. But as a friend, I listened and took it all in. The novelty soon wore off. It does with anything.

id="quote">

Thanks Kookachu - I do see what you mean. It was pretty out of the blue that she was pregnant. I could have used more notice ? (joking!!). I will try and get a grip, at elast im learning that ginger tea apparetly works for morning sickness ??

id="quote">

It so doesn't ? If one more person tells me to eat ginger biscuits or anything with ginger in them, I will scream. id="red">

Just listen, say 'hmmmm' in the right places and she will soon tire of hearing her own voice so much. Even though it's boring for you, just be happy that it's you she wants to talk to about it and it's you she feels she can talk to about it.

id="quote">

humph.?

quote:Originally posted by AnnaBanana

quote:Originally posted by Mrs Magic
Does the novelty really wear off?

I'm sure the novelty of being pregnant does but then there is the novelty of scans, buying a pram, painting the nursery, buying clothes, washing clothes, expectation of arrival, the arrival, first smile, first time they sleep through, their first word....

id="quote">

oh noooooo ?

?

id="quote">Sorry. ? Just call me angel of impending doom. ?

quote:Originally posted by Mrs Magic
Does the novelty really wear off?

I'm sure the novelty of being pregnant does but then there is the novelty of scans, buying a pram, painting the nursery, buying clothes, washing clothes, expectation of arrival, the arrival, first smile, first time they sleep through, their first word....

id="quote">

size, colour, consistency and regularity of turds? ?

Thanks for the warning Mrs M!

im so anti-children right now (mostly due to my friend's evil 2yr old who kicked a hole in my kitchen door) that i'm hoping it will wear off [:I]

Kookachu - ginger beer? ??

I'm glad when people talk to me about something other than the baby, but then I have BT as my outlet for all things pregnancy related.

Anna, I do think you have to tell her that although you don't mind her talking about the pregnancy, you'd also like to talk about things going on in your life too.

I distinctly remember once having to sit through a demonstration of all the baby equipment some friends had brought. The H came down wearing the baby sling with the breast pump over his nipple telling us how he couldn't wait to "milk his wife". Eww!

I have made my childless best friend come and help me find a decent maternity top, but unless she asks, I try not to mention all this pregnancy related. I'm lucky, my other best friend has a three year old, so she's more than happy to talk about it.

quote:Originally posted by conanetta
I'm glad when people talk to me about something other than the baby, but then I have BT as my outlet for all things pregnancy related.

Anna, I do think you have to tell her that although you don't mind her talking about the pregnancy, you'd also like to talk about things going on in your life too.

I distinctly remember once having to sit through a demonstration of all the baby equipment some friends had brought. The H came down wearing the baby sling with the breast pump over his nipple telling us how he couldn't wait to "milk his wife". Eww!id="red">

I have made my childless best friend come and help me find a decent maternity top, but unless she asks, I try not to mention all this pregnancy related. I'm lucky, my other best friend has a three year old, so she's more than happy to talk about it.

id="quote">

Dear God!! ??[xx(]

I am really lucky (am 15 weeks pregnant)... in that I have friends who are interested in babies/have children etc and WANT to talk babies.... and other friends who arent interested in the slightest and talk about other things.

I dont think, so far, I have gone on and one about being pregnant (partly cos I am terrified something will go wrong!)... I also dont really feel the need for conversation to revolve around me and def dont want to hear 50 womens birth stories at work! ?

I think telling her that you are really excited for her and like to hear her news but are finding how much she is talking babies difficult then she would understand and quieten down a little regarding it...

If its that you are sick of hearing about it, then as you say you really have to ride it out for a while. If its that you can't join in as you have no opinions/knowledge etc, why not buy one or two baby magazines or lurk on BT for a bit just so you can contribute to the conversation?

I can see it from both sides though but did ? at her response to the moving to america!

I'd say the novelty does wear off - I told my closest friend at around 4 weeks and it probably consumed a lot of our conversations for say 3/4 weeks but then it dropped off and the conversation was whatever was the latest for either of us at the time - she's in the process of moving at the moment and is having dog trouble so it's all about her right now and our whole conversations/emails are about her - i've known her for over 20 years so it tends to go in cycles but almost never is 50/50 about me/her - one or the other of us usually has something bigger than the other going on at one time.

Just hhhmmm in the right places and offer sympathy where you think it might be needed, i'm the last of all my friends to get pregnant (by several years) so i've done it for a number of them without the foggiest idea about pregnancies/babies.