Problem bridesmaid

How old is she?

How old is she?

Snap?

quote:Originally posted by claires
how old is she?

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She's 22

Oh ? I though you were going to say 10 or something!!

quote:Originally posted by ashmegdj
Oh ? I though you were going to say 10 or something!!

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Me too, cos that's the age she's acting!

How long til your wedding?
Dress fittings won't be too much of a problem - when my cousin got married our other cousin, who lives in New Jersey, was a bridesmaid and the dress was made just by measurements.

So did i


cull her??

quote:Originally posted by ashmegdj
Oh ? I though you were going to say 10 or something!!

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She's acting like it! It's all quite difficult because she's had a lot of problems with her mum who's a right cow and she's a great kid but I just don't think I need someone who's going to be in a mood all day sloping around and making me feel stressed!

quote:Me too, cos that's the age she's acting!

How long til your wedding?
Dress fittings won't be too much of a problem - when my cousin got married our other cousin, who lives in New Jersey, was a bridesmaid and the dress was made just by measurements.

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Luckily not til august and mum hasn't started on the dresses yet either. The other thing is that all of the others have chosen the ballerina pumps because they're all taller than me (I'm only 5'4") and she's chosen one's with heels. Admittedly I did say wear what you like, but after everyone else chosing all the same and trying to fit in, it feels like she's almost being problematic on purpose.

Me too I thought you were going to say 8/9!

I would say nib this in the bud before it's too late.

I would simply be upfront with her and talk to her. Ask her if there was anything wrong with the other wedding as she didn't seem to be enjoying herself and you would like to make sure that she has a good time at your wedding. Try not to be too confrontational as there may be a reason why she was the way she was. Maybe she was being difficult because she had a falling out with someone or she may have been wearing something she didn't get any say on. That will always upset a bridesmaid if they don't feel comfortable/attractive.

See if there is anything you can ask her to help you with. Some people just don't have the initiative to ask.

If you get a cold front then simply explain to her that you need to be surrounded by people who are going to share in your big day and who want to be there and be involved and offer her the chance to opt out. If she chooses to stay a bm then explain what you expect from her and if she doesn't keep to it then you will have to find someone else.

Good luck!

Ruth

quote:Originally posted by Finesse (HIB)
Me too I thought you were going to say 8/9!

I would say nib this in the bud before it's too late.

I would simply be upfront with her and talk to her. Ask her if there was anything wrong with the other wedding as she didn't seem to be enjoying herself and you would like to make sure that she has a good time at your wedding. Try not to be too confrontational as there may be a reason why she was the way she was. Maybe she was being difficult because she had a falling out with someone or she may have been wearing something she didn't get any say on. That will always upset a bridesmaid if they don't feel comfortable/attractive.

See if there is anything you can ask her to help you with. Some people just don't have the initiative to ask.

If you get a cold front then simply explain to her that you need to be surrounded by people who are going to share in your big day and who want to be there and be involved and offer her the chance to opt out. If she chooses to stay a bm then explain what you expect from her and if she doesn't keep to it then you will have to find someone else.

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Thanks. I think it is really difficult because she's so far away and I don't get to see her as often as I'd like. Her older sister was there too and thought she was being a bit weird. It may be that she had had a row with her mum. It may have been that there weren't that many people her own age, but to be honest it won't be that different at our wedding. It's a nightmare isn't it? We're down in Cardiff this weekend for a friends birthday and I'd planned to meet up with her to try on more shoes so I'll see what she's like then. One of my other sisters suggsted asking her if she still wanted to be my BM. Maybe she's realised how much the accomodation and travelling's going to cost?

Yeah now I know she's 22 I'd say talk to her on a one-to-one. If there is a particular problem she might tell you and perhaps you can sort it out.