Proud Mummy Post (but sad and scared)

Big hugs to you and your wonderful clever little girl.. ?

You sound so proud..

(ps Your post has bought a tear to my eyes)

She sounds like a great little girl - no wonder you're proud of her.

I'm sure it must be tough for you ? but she is very lucky that she has a lovely mum like you behind her to back her up and look after her when things make her sad.

I have a nephew with AS. It sounds like you are the best arent she could ever have dreamed of. ?

Would it be possible to find her a pen pal of the same age?

Or even me? I'd happily write emails to her if you would like, if it would make her feel special, and loved.

Mine too.

You have such a special little girl. You sound like you are doing your very best for her - and it will work. Other kids can be so cruel, both intentionally and unintentionally.

I don't think you're doing anything wrong in being her best friend as it's different in being 'friends' with a non-aspergers child who will then loose respect for you and make your life hard. In doing these things, you are giving her an understanding of how to be a friend and have friends.

I know it must be so hard for you and I know I'd be the same if I was looking at my child in the same way But I'd much rather have a loving girl who I'd have to help get over a broken heart many times, than one who would deliberately break the hearts of others.

Being gifted or just different - in whatever way will always make life hard, especially as a child but it does improve as you get older and meet more people, you find those you fit in with more easily. I was one very lonely child till my A levels and fianly started finding people who thought like me but I have some amazing and truly lasting friendships now.

As you said, be proud of her acheivements and of yourself, it sounds like she has a fab mummy.

Your little girl sounds amazing and you must be very proud.

I echo what HH said about maybe finding her a penpal or something to make her feel special. I would also happily write to her (as would my 4 year old if she'd rather have someone closer to her own age!!)

Keep doing what you're doing - you sound like a great mum!

You must be so proud of her, she sounds fantastic. It's brilliant that she's so good at reading but as you say, it's isolating. Not much help I know but as she gets older the difference may well be less pronounced. I know with 5 year olds that every little upset is the end of the world for them and even more so when they have aspergers to contend with.

I still think she sounds fab though and probably a lot of fun to have around. My collegue has an autistic son and things are much better for him now (at the age of10) as he's learned a lot of social behaviour. He's in a mainstream school and has plenty of support. They run a little social group for him now-he gets to choose a few (say 3 or 4) children each week for a session out of the classromm. I think it's only an hour or so but it's always a fun activity and as it's guided by him he's making lots more friends now. Is there anyway that her support worker could introduce something similar?

What fab, fab people you are. Thanks so much for the support.

Thanks so much for your lovely posts. Well, my lovely little girl is just dropping off right now with me sat on her bedroom floor. Apparently, my presence keeps monsters and witches out of here. We're going to watch Monsters Inc tomorrow.

Thanks so much for the idea and offers of pen pal. Will definitely give that some thought because she reads emails etc. I'm also going to find a ballet class for her if possible. She's quite girly. I know I might have to start of doing it with her, but hopefully, as her confidence builds, I can hang back.

She's come on so much in the last year or two - I know things will improve and, as long as I have breathe in my body, I'm there for her all the way.

Slippers were you someone else before?

I'm sorry she's lonely and doesn't make friends easily but she sounds brilliant and it sounds like she will find her niche in life in time.

?

Are there any support groups for children with Aspergers who can make suggestions on how to help her make friends?

You sound like such a great mummy to your daughter. Be proud of your daughter as she sounds wonderful, however be proud of yourself as she is who she is because of you!

If you need a penpal may I suggest my daugher, although 8 going on 9 she is also incredibly girlie, loves reading and writing (she's always got a note book and pen in her hand) and would love an email penpal herself!

Hi JK,

Yeah, it's me, Cathi.

Essexmum, you have mail.

Thanks all. This place is brilliant.

I've sent you a Private message as for some reason when someone sends me an email from here I never get it!!!!!

Oh Slippers, she sounds amazing (I bet P would love her, they would bond over penguins!) and you have every right to be proud of such a wonderful bright little girl.

She sounds amazing, and so do you actually.

On the social side, does she have anything she really loves? Could you maybe invite a couple of other girls (or boys of course) over to do some specifically structured activities around something she loves, and could share with others? It would be hard work, but it might be worth a try - then she could feel she'd had friends over and there wouldn't be the exposedness of them possibly playing without her?

I think things will improve as she gets older. I recently read 'A friend called Henry' about that boy whose dog was the key to improving his autism (it was dramatised on TV last year) and it wasn't until he was older that he started making some good friends who would put up with (sorry, not the right turn of phrase, but you know what I mean) his oddities and accept him.

I know how you feel (well, a bit), when any children come over to ours they ignore Daniel completely and just play with Anna.

Cathi, go you know anyone with older children? TBH, I can't imagine Rowan at 5 being ready for sleepovers. I wonder does she come across to other kids as disproportionately mature? I'm thinking that her vocabulary and reading skills will set her apart, but maybe an older child will be able to manage this. Do you have a local support group where she can meet other children with Aspergers?

Lexi's always been curiously popular for an autistic child, largely because he'll accept any amount of girlish attention and bossing - he's used to it, Rowan is a tartar ? His comparative lack of language has been an advantage - their expectations of him are minimal. But it makes for a woeful school experience, and we're hanging out for a special placement. And only yesterday his teacher asked me if it was ok if he skips the school performances, as he can't really participate. That made me sad.

It's not easy, is it?

Cathi I'm sorry C is hurting so much from not having friends and I hope in time her peers will accept her.I work with two girls with Autism and I've been amazed how accepting the other children have been.

Perhaps the reception class is still very new to them and they're still trying to make sense of it thermselves, and once more settled will get used to C and the way she is.

I'd gladly send her an email, and one from Harvey, although it will have to be written by me as we're just mastering CVC words here!

It seems so strange that 5 years ago we were on BT together and discussing how you were going to go through labour not allowed to move, and here we are with 2 children at primary school.

She sounds like a lovely little girl. I hope some of the children her own age realise that soon.

? Cathi. Your little girl sounds amazing, she really does. ? I'm sorry times are tough for her and hope as children get a bit older and wiser, she'll have lots of friends. I agree with JK about perhaps her socialising (for now) with older children. In the mean time, keep enjoying each others company, it's so nice you are buddies.

I would happily write to her too. I'd cover the paper and envelope in stickers, I'm good at that. She doesn't need to know I'm actually an old biddy in comparison to her.

Much love xxx

Slippers your daughter sounds like great fun, its a shame that her peers don't really understand. I hope as she gets older it will be easier for her. Its other people that are missing out on her friendship.

A pen pal sounds like a fab idea. As does the interaction with older children.

She sounds like an absolute star!

check out Americas Next Top Model - Heather

She has Aspergers Syndrome and she was my favourite !

http://images.chron.com/blogs/tubular/archives/heathercgirl.jpg

It sounds like you have an amazing daughter there slippers.

One thing I thought of is would she be happy in a Brownie group? You say she's a girlie girl (which they are very good at being!) but they also provide basic life skills from an early age, including integration with other young girls outside of a schooling environment. Plus, Brownies can do sleep overs now too so she'd possibly get the opportunity to go. And as long as the leaders are fully aware of your daughters needs they will be able to factor that into their meetings. And if you feel uncomfortable with leaving her at the meetings, you could always stay as a 'helper' as they are always crying out for additional adults to help with groups - who know's it could turn into a hobby that you could share together.

There is a girl in the Ranger unit which I was involved with before moving here who has Aspergers and she'd been through the whole guiding experience from Rainbows and has made good friends over that time.

Hi, our nine year old daughter has Aspergers too. She sounds an awful lot like your little girl (high but uneven IQ, early reader, ridiculously amazing memory). I have found being the parent of a girl with Aspergers quite isolating in the past. So much help and information is geared towards boys and is irrelevant (I personally believe that Aspergers manifiests itself very differently in little girls). However, it is three years since our daughter had her final diagnosis and I have to say that things are much, much, easier now than they were then. I won't lie and say that it is a bed of roses (what parenting is?) but we are very proud parents indeed and wouldn't change her for the world.

Anyway, I'm waffling. You are most welcome to PM me, now or in the future.

Edited to add that WifeyLind is spot on about Rainbows / Brownies. Our daughter was a Rainbow and is now a Brownie, she loves it.