QQ for those doing it abroad. Bec, Serafina, MrsS2B?

I am getting married in Mexico March 2010.

We Picked Mexico as it is somewhere we went together and loved. Also after the wedding we canhead of from there to the states and have a little Honeymoon.

What made you decide on your location? We Picked Mexico as it is somewhere we went together and loved. Also after the wedding we canhead of from there to the states and have a little Honeymoon. did you only invite certain people or did you invite everyone and just assume some would come, some wouldnt? We left it open and feel if people are prepared to pay and come thats up to them and we are pleased to have them there. Other than our Parents and siblings we didnt "ask" anyone. Did you do the packages that some holiday companies offer or use an independent planner in that country? We are still in the throws of booking it but we are using an independent planner. Do you feel in control or are you worried that things won't be exactly how you want them? I feel a little worried about things but it is stupid things like my hair and make-up cos it wont be my own hairdresser. Things like that If you don't mind sharing, have you found it cheaper to do it abroad/more affordable and did you work to a specific budget? I havent found it to be particularly cheaper. We are having a reception when we get back so still having cake, favours, photographer, Band. The actual holiday is costing a small fortune but its a once in a life time thing. I am sure over all when it comes in it will be slightly cheaper but not significantly so. Although i am sure you could do it cheaper than we are. If so was it easy to stick to that budget? For me personally no but then i am an idiot!

Thanks Lou! especially about feeling in control lol. I know i would have to be in the country a few days early anyway because of residency to marry rules and what not so i supppose i could just take whatever i really wanted with me.

Can anyone else offer their experiences? x

What made you decide on your location? OH and I have had loads of Holidays in Portugal and his family own a house there so we've made good friends and just love it! Plus we just didn't feel like we wanted a UK wedding, and Portugal is far cheaper than a lot of countries to stay in and get to. did you only invite certain people or did you invite everyone and just assume some would come, some wouldnt? We invited 40 people as we knew that if they could all come, that's the number we could afford to cater for! Did you do the packages that some holiday companies offer or use an independent planner in that country? No, I found a lovely planning company in Portugal who have helped with the legal side of things as well as conversing with restaurants and hotels etc. Do you feel in control or are you worried that things won't be exactly how you want them? Im absolutely in control of it all, my planners have just taken a back seat and let me get on with it, but they are there in a flash when I need them! If you don't mind sharing, have you found it cheaper to do it abroad/more affordable and did you work to a specific budget? For us it wasn't about budget, I wanted guranteed sunshine and a great day. We only have a budget of £3k and it's coming in at about that. OH's parents are helping with the reception and my parents have bought my dress, so you could probably say whole thing is £5k. If so was it easy to stick to that budget? YUP because I have everything I want and still not spent too much

You say you've chosen Italy, be aware that this is quite an expensive country just to fly to and there are many more places like Greece, Turkey, Spain and Portugal that would be much cheaper, but still fantastic.

Are you thinking of having a reception when you get back. Cos they way i feel about things is that the actual wedding will be quite relaxed. I am not so bothered about everything being just so. The packages normally provide a little cake for your guest and your flowers and button holes. These are the kind of things people get caught up about here. i think i will be more worried about the reception here with 150 people. Then i will want my hair and make-up perfect.

Hope that makes sense its not that i am playing down the actual wedding its exactly how i want it relaxed and chilled. I really couldn't marry infront of 150 people it fills me with fear. The reception is going to be scary enough.

What made you decide on your location?

We knew we wanted Africa as we’d had some amazing holidays there, and it was in Kenya that Mr SP had finally (after 13 years) suggested it was time for us to consider getting married (yay!) … We were going to go for Kenya but struggled to find what we wanted for the price we were willing to pay. We wanted small, unique and intimate and there are resorts that will do that but we’d have been paying thousands and thousands of pounds. We came across Zanzibar when we were doing a brochure trawl, and he initial photo we saw made us both go ‘ooh, well, look at that’…. It was as close to our dream wedding location as we could ever want … We decided to find an independent travel company as they offered some really unique places to stay compared to the big travel companies, and we wanted to book our own flights as we were using our airmiles to get us a first class return flight… I would suggest shop around online – you’ll be amazed at what you might find.

did you only invite certain people or did you invite everyone and just assume some would come, some wouldnt?

We didn’t ask anyone! But then I think that’s quite unusual these days – most weddings I’ve seen abroad are with family/friends. Our family always knew it would just be me and Mr SP on the day … it wasn’t until about a year before the event we decided to have a full on celebration when we got back which essentially gave us ‘two’ weddings …. Minus the legal bit. Did a handfasting instead. And I know I'd have regretted it terribly if we'd not done something with our family and friends when we got back.

Did you do the packages that some holiday companies offer or use an independent planner in that country?

I think unless you have a nailed on recommendation for a independent coordinator it would be safer to use the hotel or holiday companies coordinator. With us, our holiday company did the basics and the hotel mgr was our coordinator. After all, she was the expert on how her accommodation would deal with a wedding! She did all the legalities, arranged to photographer and managed the overall wedding ‘package’…

Do you feel in control or are you worried that things won't be exactly how you want them?

If you’re wanting to really experience a wedding abroad I think you have to be willing to let go of some of the control you’d expect to have if you were getting married here … Weddings are different abroad and so they should be … You need to turn up with your H2B, your outfit, your rings and your witnesses and that’s about it! You are paying for someone else to take the hard work away from you, and you probably need to have the mindset that its not a UK wedding with the UK norms - depending on where you're thinking of getting wed of course ... for us, we just let them do whatever they wanted. Short of asking for white and cerise flowers for my bouquet and hair we didn't really know what it would be like til it happened. So rather than us knowing every detail, it was all a surprise for us. I certainly had lots of chats with my holiday company about what we saw as our ideal day / what it would include before we booked, and they then found us the ideal locations to pick from… but other than that I just let the hotel get on with it. I did of course have all the control I wanted over the UK side of the celebrations!!!

If you don't mind sharing, have you found it cheaper to do it abroad/more affordable and did you work to a specific budget?

Our entire wedding, the abroad and the UK bit cost us just £8k. And that was not skimping on anything at all. That’s 2 weeks abroad full board, the wedding itself (which was sooo much more than just the wedding – we had about 4 days of utter self indulgence courtesy of the venue), plus a ‘do’ back here with all the bells and whistles. If we’d just done the UK equivalent, it would have been about £4k, so we did do it on a very small budget compared to some. My dress only cost £200!! (although that didn’t include flights as we used airmiles – that could have added another £1800 on)

If so was it easy to stick to that budget?

Yes – we knew what the holiday was costing and we paid for it just the same as we’d pay for any other holiday. You don’t have to budget for all the little extras that you do if you’re getting wed at home, when the wish list can get longer and longer and you add this and that and this and that! You agree up front what you want with your chosen hotel and that’s it…

Hope that helps. I know most brides don't go as far afield as Africa to get wed, and I didn't look into weddings closer to home, so maybe they do work differently in Europe for example .... but I wouldn't have changed a thing about my wedding day - I knew when I got home we were giving our friends/family the BEST weekend of celebrations. The only thing I do remember feeling a bit sad about was not having anyone there in the few moments before I walked out all dressed up and ready to go get wed. The hotel mgr was amazing and did her best to calm my nerves with another glass of wine and a hug, but its not the same as having your mum or best friends there... but I didn't regret the choice we'd taken ... But I am so glad I convinced Mr SP that to have a proper do when we got back for everyone.

When I look back now at my photos (which I do regularly) I just think 'wow, I am soooo bloody lucky' ....

Tahdah- Thanks. We've looked at italy because its such a beautiful country and we both really want to go but we are open to looking at other countries. We wouldn't go for spain as my cousin wants her wedding there and also the legal side of it we could only have a blessing. France you have to be resident 46 days so again would probably only be able to have a blessing. We are thinking of looking at greece, portugal etc. Like you we ideally want the good weather and the beautiful location, which we could easily have here but its a bit more guaranteed weather abroad.

Lou- we're not sure if we'll have an actual reception as such back here. We might go for an informal barbeque with some speeches and another cake and what not but probably not go all out like we would for a UK wedding. Too formal just doesnt really suit us. We want it to be relaxed and fun and whilst we could have that here in the UK we're both aware that so much is being expected of us if we did it here as i've had problems with some cousins commenting on how we want to do things and also one set Mr delicious' Grandparents are quite traditional and would probably want us to be very formal and traditional.

MrsSP- very impressed with your budgeting skills! we would want at least parents, siblings, hopefully grandparents and aunts and uncles as well if they could manage it, and close friends to be there with us if they could and then probably do what i mentioned above with bbq and speeches and cake in an informal way when we got back for those who couldnt come. The planner i emailed in italy was featured in you and your wedding magazine so decided emailing them wouldnt hurt. i'm also open to all suggestions of planners that anyone would/could recommend.

i know what we want is doable in the UK but i think what we both really want is a sunny late afternoon early evening ceremony followed by pictures and then an evening candlelit dinner and dancing for all, rather than splitting it into day and evening do's IYSWIM? If we stayed in the UK we'd probably end up going for something traditional with day and evening do even though it probably wouldnt be everything we wanted.

What made you decide on your location? - We chose South Africa. I'm originally from there and DH was happy to go as he's never been. This is his second wedding and my first and he just wanted me to be happy. did you only invite certain people or did you invite everyone and just assume some would come, some wouldnt? - We invited everyone who mattered. We have had loads that can't come due to financial and time constraints though. Did you do the packages that some holiday companies offer or use an independent planner in that country? - Because I come from there I did all the work myself. Everything is in English so there were language barriers. There are wedding coordinators and planners on site where we're having the wedding and we made sure that the venue had a chapel and a reception ground all in one place. But if you're planning on doing your wedding abroad in Italy/Spain I would recommend an independant planner rather than a holiday company. Independant planners would have a broader spectrum of ideas and suppliers than the holiday companies would. Do you feel in control or are you worried that things won't be exactly how you want them? - I had to hand over the control and I've done the best that I can but obviously there could be some big snags that pop up and I'll only have two weeks before the wedding to sort them out. I've maintained good comms with all my suppliers and they know my situation. My dress I had made in South Africa and it's currently hanging in the cupboard at home. I'm only going to try it on two weeks before the wedding. If it doesn't work out I'm not bothered though. Just go and find another dress. Planning abroad means you've got to take what you get because you're not hands on at all times. If you go in expecting everything to go as planned or as per the vision in your head then you'll hate planning from abroad. You have to leave the majority of things in their capable hands. If you don't mind sharing, have you found it cheaper to do it abroad/more affordable and did you work to a specific budget? - LOADS cheaper!!! The exact wedding over here would cost £22k. We're paying £7k and that's including our flights there. If so was it easy to stick to that budget? - We've stuck to our budget but it's been hard. South Africa is very limited in choice so sometimes it's meant I've had to source certain things from here. Also we're having large ostrich feathers for our centerpieces and no one has done that yet in South Africa. So none of the suppliers do that. I've had to source it myself and it's been difficult (and expensive). Sticking to the budget though has been doable and we've found that we've saved money in loads of areas that has given us more movement with our budget.

Thanks Joss, The part about having to let go of my wanting to be completely hands on i'm realising more and more that i definitely couldn't be and i don't know if that will bother me or not. i do have some quite specific ideas about the way i want things and am beginning to wonder if this might be an issue.

We are getting married at Lake Bled in Slovenia, February 2010.

• What made you decide on your location?

I decided to get married abroad for a couple of main reasons- firstly, I didn't want a big wedding and thought it would be easier to keep numbers down aborad. Secondly, I wanted to stick to a small budget and it seems easier to do a 'nice' wedding on a budget when it's abroad. I really wanted to avoid the standard 'church-meal-disco/buffet' thing.

• did you only invite certain people or did you invite everyone and just assume some would come, some wouldnt?

I haven't send out 'proper' invitiations yet but I've informally let people know if they're going to be invited (17 people so far). Its been a bit tricky as I can't 'over-invite' for budget etc in case they all come! But, on the other hand, people don't seem to want to commit too early and therefore I could end up with just 5 guests or something with no time to invite more!

• Did you do the packages that some holiday companies offer or use an independent planner in that country?

I researched both and went with local family planners Primavera Bled as they have good reviews, a background in photography (important to me), and seemed very knowledgeable and willing to work around what we wanted, rather than a standard 'package'.

• Do you feel in control or are you worried that things won't be exactly how you want them?

I feel in control. The company replies to my emails within a day or two and is very willing to accomodate all my ideas and wishes. I will arrive a few days before and they will take me to visit florist, hairdresser, venues etc so that I can do a last check.

• If you don't mind sharing, have you found it cheaper to do it abroad/more affordable and did you work to a specific budget?

I didn't 'price up' for the same things here, but I know that it is a very reasonable price. I'm getting planner on the day, civil service, translator, documents, professional experienced photographer and 50 prints, DVD of all photos taken, horse and carriage, boat trip to island, flowers/buttonhole, hair dresser including trial before, makeup including trial, 5-course reception with private room hire all evening for region of £3,500 (roughly)

Forgot to say why I picked Lake Bled! only said why I picked 'abroad'...

Firstly, I love Slovenia. It's a cross between Italy and Austria but without the price and over-hype. I've been twice before and I love the mountains, lake and scenery. I wanted a winter wedding and Lake Bled just seemed the natural choice.

Thanks Serafina. that is really good for what you're paying! it sounds like a fantastic day you have planned. Its good to know you have found such a good planner.

• What made you decide on your location? We'd been on Holiday there, and fell in love with the place. We'd always decided to get wed abroad, and in Greece since we loved our holidays there
• did you only invite certain people or did you invite everyone and just assume some would come, some wouldnt? Originally, we invited everyone but then had a moment of reality that we'd have to spend a week with them all (its not a big island!) So we decided to just invite parents
• Did you do the packages that some holiday companies offer or use an independent planner in that country? We booked with an Independent planner out there
• Do you feel in control or are you worried that things won't be exactly how you want them? I'm quite laid back about it anyway, so I've not got an exact idea of how I want it. My planners have been really good though and we sort out a lot of requests through email and by sending them pics.
• If you don't mind sharing, have you found it cheaper to do it abroad/more affordable and did you work to a specific budget? our budget or the whole thing is around £5k including the cost of the holiday. But to be honest, the cost wasn't the factor for us choosing abroad so not sure how much it would have been to have my "dream" wedding here as my "dream" wedding is out there!
• If so was it easy to stick to that budget? The change in the exchange rate on the euro from us booking it to now has increased our costs, so we've had to play it a bit smarter.

Hope this info helps! Xx

Thanks Bec. Thats brilliant. can please i ask the name of the planners you're using if you don't mind telling? if you don't want to share on here i can give you FB or email details. x

Hey, my planners are Michael and Elena at www.weddings-in-santorini.com DOn't mind saying on here as they have been fab and come highly recommended from other brides on other wedding related forums that have a more active weddings abroad section!! (Not that I cheat on there very often, only to do my research! ? )

What made you decide on your location?

We´re getting married in Turkey as it´s where we met (neither of us are Turkish, just a drunken holiday!) and we picked the best beach in the country, the blue lagoon in olu deniz

did you only invite certain people or did you invite everyone and just assume some would come, some wouldnt?

We invited around 40 people and we´ve got 30 yes´s! Some we knew couldnt come, but thought it was nice to offer! We´re having a little do when we get back so we put a little note inside the invite saying it would be great if you could come, but we´re having a after do if not!

Did you do the packages that some holiday companies offer or use an independent planner in that country?

We chose a independent country abroad, they´ve got a load of reviews online which are great see weddingsturkey.com we chatted by email and they we´re quick to reply. They offered a lot more for a cheaper price than the holiday companies, and they´re based in the uk and in turkey and they would be there for your day too just incase!

Do you feel in control or are you worried that things won't be exactly how you want them?

I´m pretty confident with them, any worries i have had i just emailed them and they replied in 2 days.

If you don't mind sharing, have you found it cheaper to do it abroad/more affordable and did you work to a specific budget?

It´s a lot cheaper. We paid 1800(pounds) and then 34 (pounds) for each guest. Which we pay when we get there incase anyone drops out. Our guests have to pay for themselves to get there but we said this from the start.

If so was it easy to stick to that budget?

Yes, we know exactly what we need to spend. Flowers and cakes are included in the 1800, and we´ve been given quotes for hair and stuff.

For us it´s working out great. A lot less stress, all the family are excited about a wedding abroad. We gave them 2 years notice so save up! We have told them that we only want them for one day, the rest is their holiday! x check out weddingsturkey.com for what we get included, then compare with thomas cook to see the difference! x

Thanks Bec and mrs spink2b. thats brilliant! thanks for recommending your planners too. We'll have a look at their sites. x