Question for bride to be about affairs

Interesting.

its thier mistake. Keep out of it. If you are over it why do you care if he is making a huge mistake?

Would I want to know? Maybe.

Would I want it to be the other woman who told me? Absolutely not.

You will not emerge from any kind of telling situation with any credit or any dignity. There is NO reason for you to tell. Do you think people are going to pat you on the back and say 'Well done'?

You have no stake in their relationship any longer. Keep your beak out.

I have no malice. A lot of people would say knowingly letting someone marry someone they don't really know would be a bad thing and she deserves to know so she can decide, but yes I would prefer to stay out of it. I expected most brides would want to know but it seems not.

And there is no vested interest in this for you? By telling her you don't even have the slightest hope that the wedding won't go ahead and he will come running back to you?

No because exposing an affair generally bonds the couple and they hate the other woman instead together. Exposing the affair lets the couple work on their issues and problems. Yes of course she may leave. It's highly unlikely he would run back to me after exposing him, plus I am not interested in being with someone who could behave like that for a boyfriend.

I think the point is being missed. Instead of focussing on the other woman the focus should be on your partner and if you'd want to marry a man not knowing he had an affair and instead of talking to you about his problems went elsewhere.

Anyway - I'm done here replying. Thanks for opinions. Perhaps they will be happy regardless and he will stay faithful. I don't wanna be the bad guy. So I'm staying quiet permanently .

I think we 'got' you. It's an interesting premise. I'm not suggesting that it wouldn't be morally preferable for a person to know exactly who they are marrying. I just think you're the wrong person to deliver the news.

So does a morally correct action take precedent? Are you committing a moral harm by omission?

Why would anyone get physical with a man they know is already in a relationship? ?

He's made an active decision (when he still has time) and has chosen her over you.

Does this colour your opinion at all? It probably would mine.

Not one criticism of him at all in any posts. Do you not find that alarming? I chose my boyfriend over him haha I never asked him to leave. I left him and he went back to his broken relationship , I realise you are all defensive deep down because you are petrified this could happen to any wife fiancée , well yes it can. But he strayed he lied he risked it all time and time again, even when she was suspicious. He ignored her worries .

Ali G why would a man with a child about to get married have an affair behind his wife to bes back for a year which was predominantly emotional? He wasn't even getting sex out of it Just comfort and support. That's the question that should be asked .

Haha! Defensive because I'm worried it will happen to me! Fabulous.

I do love new posters with affair threads. Seems they are ten a penny nowerdays.

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Anyway, re the original question; just forget about him and move on. It's not your problem anymore.

I'm not saying it will specifically happen to you . It just can happen, and people don't know their husbands sometimes.

I came on to ask a simple question and now I'm the bad guy. Let's all bury our heads in the sand . That's what people like to do these days

I think you might be confusing defensive with indifference.

It's none of your business anymore - stay out of it.

Huh? I'm confused.

No I'm not indifferent.

You chose to have an affair with a man you knew was in a relationship. IMO you have gutter morals.

That do you?

This keeps getting better and better.

Actually do you know what, I would like to know. That way I could kill my cheating scumbag of a husband and then move onto killing the classy ho who knowingly had an affair with an engaged father.

so yes, you are the bad guy as much as he is. How do you like that?

Completely agree you're as much to blame as him. Do you somehow think you're an innocent party in this?

And I still maintain he chose her over you, since he has stayed with his fiancée throughout.

It's interesting that I posted on an affair forum and the women who had been betrayed there thought she should be told. Yet on a wedding planning forum I'm urged to keep quiet and let her marry a man she doesn't know. Hmm.

yes I never said I didn't have gutter morals at the time. I don't think I'm a hoe as I never had sex, and he never paid me. I realise it was stupid and I ended it. This is Getting too heated now, I certainly know the difference in defensive and indifference and I don't see any posts here being indifferent erm..

Bored now. Troll off back to your affair forum.?

Amnesia that's fine I agree. I don't mind that. I would wholeheartedly agree that he prefers her. That's ok. Men rarely leave relationships and marriage because they are comfortable and there are kids involved. Even if it was out of love only that's fine too.

With that logic then that she is the preferred woman. It's still ok to have an affair with another and she would be perfectly happy with that if she knew?

Well I'm not a troll. I asked if your partner had an affair whilst planning your wedding, whether you'd want to know before your marriage, that's all. Sorry if I've caused offence or upset.

There are affair forums?! Now that does found like fun!

There are affair forums because so many people have affairs

Of course you're not. This is a perfectly normal first post to make.

you don't have to have sex to be a ho. The intention was there.

Well, that's your place to go then.

This isn't a wedding planning forum. This is "Off Topic". Different. (As opposed to indifferent)

And he found that in you? Blimey.

Well you seem quite active on dating sites so hopefully another married man will be along soon to distract you.

Haha of course you're as much to blame and a ho. Try asking again on WP.