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ajdown
VIP September 2011

Question re wedding photos of separated parents

ajdown, 21 July, 2011 at 16:04 Posted on Planning 0 8

Stuck with a little dilemma I thought I'd throw out to the collective wisdom.

Quick background, my parents separated about 15 years ago. My father remarried about 10 years ago, my mother however has not been so lucky although she met a great guy called Dave last year and they seem to be getting on well and he likes me too.

Now, obviously I'm going to have a picture of us and my mother and father, plus my father and stepmum, and one of my mother, Dave and his 2 teenage children. I've spoken to everyone involved and both my mother and father are happy to be in a picture together, as obviously it's a long time ago and although it was unpleasant at the time they are still living in the same town and frequently run into each other and chat about our wedding plans. All four of them (dad, stepmum, mum and Dave) are sitting on the top table with us.

I'm just wondering whether I should get a picture of just my mother with us as well, or whether that might seem wrong and treating Dave as 'second class' as they are not married. Alternatively I could do us plus my mother, and one of my father without my stepmum, but that might look strange to my stepmother.

Or have we missed some other obvious solution?

8 replies

Latest activity by Kooks, 22 July, 2011 at 11:17
  • S
    Beginner April 2012
    squidgybob ·
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    I would have one with just your mother, and one with just your father. That way you get the one with your mother (in case things with the boyfriend dont work out) but it doesnt look to him like he is being excluded.

    I don't think your stepmum would have an issue with a photo along with your father, at the end of the day he will always be in your life and (as harsh as it sounds) she may not.

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  • Storky
    Beginner May 2011
    Storky ·
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    I found the time we were having our photos taken to be quite manic. Lots of people in different places and I'm sure no one would have noticed us having one with just my mum and not one with my mum. If you're worried your dad might notice and feel left out, have one with him too, but otherwise I wouldn't worry about the 'fairness' of it all.

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  • O
    Beginner October 2011
    oldgal ·
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    I would have one with my mum and dad separately for sure ! I don't see a problem with that. You could even say to stepmum that it is awkward with Dave would she mind you having a pic with just dad so it isn't awkward ? I will be a stepmum and I wouldn't mind that and would understand.

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  • ajdown
    VIP September 2011
    ajdown ·
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    Thanks. I'll mention it briefly to stepmum next opportunity just to make sure that all is well, but I can't see it being a problem as we're having a dad/stepmum picture as well which they can have.

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  • L
    Beginner
    LJO ·
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    I'm in similar situation and will have one with just me and mum and one with just me and dad! x

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  • Kooks
    Beginner September 2011
    Kooks ·
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    I would do as the others have said and have one with just your dad too. I'm sure your step mum will understand.

    You've made me think about my photo list though, I hadn't even considered having a photo with my mum and my dad! They divorced nearly 30 years ago and for most of that time my mum has been with my step dad. I think I'd find it weird having one of them together!

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  • knitting_vixen
    Beginner September 2011
    knitting_vixen ·
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    My parents are divorced and re-married. H2b's are still together. I will have 1 photo of mum and stepdad with h2b's parents and 1 of dad and stepmum with h2b's parents and will not have one of all of the parents together. I think it will be weird and will be a photo that no-one wants (my dad won't want a wedding photo with his ex-wife in it, I know that much- he dislikes her and calls her, "That Woman".)

    AJ- If I were you I would do as the others suggest, have one with your mum and her partner then one with just your mum.

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  • ajdown
    VIP September 2011
    ajdown ·
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    Ooh... had forgotten about the 'parent combo' pictures - thanks for reminding me!

    *adds a few more to the ever expanding list and wondering how many hours these photos are going to take*

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  • Kooks
    Beginner September 2011
    Kooks ·
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    Yep that's how I feel, I wouldn't want my step-dad and dad to have to stand together and while mum and dad are pleasant to each other it would just seem a bit weird to me to have a pic of them together. It's def not one I'd ever want to look at!

    Divorced families eh?!

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