Questions about small people and drinks and celebrants

Q1. Our hotel simply offers fruit juice or melon as a starter for children. That's all.

Q2. We're certainly not planning on providing food for babies; if anyone's children are too young to eat either of the menu options we are providing (there is a nuggets/ice cream type childrens menu, or a half size portion of the adult menu) then it's really their concern, just as it is to ensure their children are entertained.

Q3.We're not providing any alcohol by choice for our wedding although there is a bar at the hotel should people want to buy their own.

As a 'welcome drink' our hotel is doing a fruit punch, which is a sort of mixed fruit juice thing with lumps of fruit in it, the top of the glass is dipped in some sort of syrup then dipped in coarse coloured sugar. I'm sure there's a fancy name for it but it escapes me now. During the rest of the day we're putting jugs of orange and apple juices on the table, plus water. For toasting, we're using shloer which we're supplying as the hotel seemed unable to source it. There are various flavours which look like champagne, and a 'rose' which is quite nice too.

Remember it's not just "people that choose not to drink" that may not want alcohol, but also people who are driving, plus children that you need to cater for with non-alcoholic drinks - plus, of course, there is no "law" that you have to supply your guests with excess alcohol just because everyone else seems to.

Q4. No idea, sorry. Never been to a wedding where the person who took the service (regardless of type) stayed for the rest of the day. As our registrars will be shooting off after doing us to go marry someone else, we don't even have the option of asking them to stay.

I'd give the same starter to the kids as to the adults. Eat it / don't eat it is the choice (firm but fair?)

I wouldn't feed babies - mums are expert at sorting them out.

Agree with aj that Shloer is a great champagne substitute, or elderflower fizz is nice too. OJ just wouldn;t cut it for me, it doesn;t feel special enough and is usually too "claggy" to be a refreshing drink (I'm usually the driver!)

Our minister and assorted clergy (all 5 of them) are all coming to the whole day as they are also friends, so that doesn't help much at all!

I'd also just offer the same starter as the adults and it's up to them if they do/don't eat it. My boys are 4 and 6 and do LOVE garlic bread so would always eat that. Tomato soup would be a big no for me because it's just so messy!

Don't worry about feeding babies - as a pp said, mums will have that covered already. Babies old enough for solid food will be fine with a mashed up small helping of whatever the adults are having. Those too small for solids, you don't need to worry about anyway. If you have any mums with tiny babies that they're breastfeeding, it might be worth asking the mums if they're comfortable feeding in the main room or if they'd prefer the option of somewhere private. Careful how you put that though - the whole breastfeeding in public thing is a VERY touchy issue!

Our hotel is offering a fruit punch for non-drinkers, plus the bar has lots of different types of fruit juice and soft drinks.

Can't help you on the 3rd front as we're having a civil ceremony and the registrars are dashing off right after our ceremony is done!

Hello Ladies and Gent,

Thanks for all your suggestions and advice.

I'm all in favour of the 'eat it/don't eat it' theory on childrens starters and would have done it with the whole meal (it was the choices I survived on as a child), but FI since doesn't see his nephews he tends to indulge them...maybe garlic bread is an option.

Babies are now the responsibility of their Mother, and thanks for the comments regarding breastfeeding. I know one Mum doesn't breastfeed, and I'll quiz the other Mum. We've know each other for going on 30 years so I'll be okay ask and not sound too mad.

Fancy fruit punch or Shloer or elderflower fizz sound like a plan.

I'll ponder a bit more on the celebrant etiquette ?

Thanks

I dont know about other peoples kids but we usually our little boys main meal with our starter, as he takes longer to eat, then when we are in the middle of our main he gets his ice cream to keep him as quiet as possible!! If I was getting him a starter though Id probably get garlic bread too.

I was also going to suggest elderflower fizz, its lovely and looks like champers too!

We had a humanist wedding and didnt feed our celebrant or infact anyone else apart from our guests!

No idea on anything kiddy related tho

p.s good choice with the humanist ceremony, we loved ours

As for the 6 month old, assuming the baby is weaned, the parent/s will bring along their own food for the baby, and might just share food with the 1 year old who can eat grown up food.

Starter wise, I wouldn't go for anything fruit based, that just seems wrong lol

TBH I am a beliver of if you don't eat it, you go hungry. I would not and will not be making dietry allowances for anyone (unless it was health related) and that includes children.

We are having a buffet though so there will be lots to choose from. I don't think you can go wrong with chiken goujons and garlic bread x

Thanks for the reply Naboo. Sorry to ask another question, but how did the Humanist wedding go? It seemed a good choice since religious was a no-no and we didn't fancy a lady from the council. Since we've never met the Humanist chap (he's in Edinburgh and we're current in Oz) it all feels a bit odd just now.

Sorry just noticed this, it went really well, we were really pleased with it as we could decide on so much of it so it was really personal and we had lots of comments from the guests too. I would definately recommend it. We didnt meet our celebrant until the day as we a live about 8 hours away from where we got married so we sorted it all over the phone and email and it worked really well, she wrote out our ceremony and sent it to us so we could change anything we wanted (apart from the legal stuff, which wasnt much really) and gave us loads of ideas for readings and vows.

If you want any other info give me a shout, i can probs dig out the stuff she sent us about sample ceremonys, readings and vows

Sorry just noticed this, it went really well, we were really pleased with it as we could decide on so much of it so it was really personal and we had lots of comments from the guests too. I would definately recommend it. We didnt meet our celebrant until the day as we a live about 8 hours away from where we got married so we sorted it all over the phone and email and it worked really well, she wrote out our ceremony and sent it to us so we could change anything we wanted (apart from the legal stuff, which wasnt much really) and gave us loads of ideas for readings and vows.

If you want any other info give me a shout, i can probs dig out the stuff she sent us about sample ceremonys, readings and vows

As a mum of a 5 year old and an 11 month old...

My eldest also normally has garlic bread when we have starters. Other alternatives are pate with toast or potato skins with cheese and bacon. Actually, I think potato skins/wedges would be a really good idea.

Mums with babies will bring their own food or feed the baby a little bit of their own dinner.

Hey, every year at christmas we all have prawn cocktail and my stepmum always gives my younger brother a small fruit salad, and he loves it! just an idea.

Agree with garlic bread or potato skins/wedges.

With regards to the non drinkers thing, I don't drink, but I also don't like fizzy drinks. Yes. I am fussy. And I think a non fizzy option is always good