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K
Beginner November 2013

Rant about Bridesmaid!!

katiemoulton87, 12 November, 2012 at 20:44

Posted on Planning 195

I do apologise but i need a good rant!!!! Getting married 16/11/13 and have just confirmed venues and what we are having etc, i asked my bridesmaids a couple of months ago to be part of our day. I have 3 adults and a 4 year old flower girl. I am trying to organise all 3 adults plus me to go dress...

I do apologise but i need a good rant!!!!

Getting married 16/11/13 and have just confirmed venues and what we are having etc, i asked my bridesmaids a couple of months ago to be part of our day.

I have 3 adults and a 4 year old flower girl.

I am trying to organise all 3 adults plus me to go dress shopping and it's proving a difficult task. I actually live in Hull, but i'm from Leicestershire and having the wedding there. 1 of my bridesmaids lives in Scunthorpe and the the other 2 are also from Leicestershire.

BM1 - My Cousin - More like a big sister has been great, just freeing up time as and when i ask. She's a a size 12-14 dress.

BM2 - My Childhood friend - She's been there for me alot and shes amazing. She's a police officer so her time off is precious but has really odd shifts so am trying my best to work around her. She is a pretty little thing and a size 6/8

BM3 - This is where my problems lie. BM3 is our mutual friend and actually me and H2b came to know each other because of her. She is being awkward about everything!!!!! She is a larger lady a size 24 and conscious of how she looks. Being a plus size myself i totally understand how she feels about wanting to look nice and not ridiculous. BM3 Lives in Scunthorpe.

The BM's are paying for their dresses themselves so i can appreciate they want to keep costs low so i have been lenient in terms of design as long as all their colours match. Because of the variation in dress size a high street shop is out of the question really. I have seen a gorgeous dress that i think will suit all 3 of them lovely and its £130 and i know they go right up to a size 32. I have arranged for all my BM's to go see the dress over the next couple of weeks and to get BM3 enthusiastic i decided to show her the design i saw. In the shop they actually have it in the colour we are having (yellow). I thought she would be really positive but got nothing but negative vibes from her and she's really put me on a downer. She likes the dress but is being picky about this that and the other. I even flashed her my dress and again she has just been negative. We went for a look round some shops together and i tried dresses on with her and now because i haven't ordered the one i tried on with her has got the hump.

She's now being elusive as to whether she will actually be coming on the day we arranged. I offered to pick her up and take her back on my route.

I obviously want them all to look lovely, but how do i take into account all 3 body shapes, personal preferences, location differences etc. It's just starting to get me down to the point where i just want to shout at BM3 and ask her if she actually still wants to be a BM!

Help what do i do for my sanity!?!?!

195 replies

  • K
    Beginner November 2013
    katiemoulton87 ·
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    Haha i'm not concerned with the 4 year old just yet. She can dress up as a Disney princess if she wants to! Fingers crossed she walks down the aisle nicely with my 3 year old!

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  • I
    Beginner October 2013
    Irisbride ·
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    If you re-read her post, I think you'll find she wasn't calling you a bully. Clearly you are quite sensitive, but you need to realise by posting on a 'discussion forum' that your comments are going to be read and discussed, and not everyone will agree with you. The forum really wouldn't work otherwise x

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  • vintagedreams
    Beginner August 2013
    vintagedreams ·
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    In my humble cabbage I love a good hitched drama was just thinking about how we hadn't had one in a while

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  • kharv
    Beginner March 2012
    kharv ·
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    I can't possibly see what Nutella said to prompt that response? She agreed with part of your statement but just gave a polite, honest opinion?

    And Mini wasn't referring to you before.

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  • *Mini*
    Beginner January 2012
    *Mini* ·
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    Is your reading as bad as your spelling? Where exactly have I called you a bully?

    Cindreballe, I like the term "sensitive" it's a discussion forum, ergo things will be discussed. The point I made, clearly not transparent enough for you, was that you moaned that you were being ganged up on by people who didn't hold the same opinions as you.

    someone disagreeing with you is not you being bullied.

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  • I
    Beginner October 2013
    Irisbride ·
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    Er..... Aren't you doing the same thing and 'sitting on hitched giving your pointless opinions'? If everyone's comments mean nothing to you, why are you getting so worked up?

    Thanks for humouring us! This has cheered me up massively! x

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  • K
    Beginner November 2013
    katiemoulton87 ·
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    Can we just leave this discussion for now? I didn't want to cause arguments or upsets. Think it may be best if we leave it where it's at for everyone's sake!

    Thanks Smiley smile

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  • *Mini*
    Beginner January 2012
    *Mini* ·
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    *rolling smiley*

    You are very right Amylou, I'm not getting married. I did that already. what a clever bunny you are.

    Good luck planning your wedding on here sweetheart. Xx

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  • *Mini*
    Beginner January 2012
    *Mini* ·
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    Sorry that your thread got derailed Katie!

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  • pandorasbox
    Beginner August 2012
    pandorasbox ·
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    ?

    W...T...F....?

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  • K
    Beginner November 2013
    katiemoulton87 ·
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    It's ok, if not just a little bit random and unexpected. I feel a bit guilty it's led to all this tbh!

    Nevermind, i just know to stay away from possible awkward posts!

    :-)

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  • Nutella
    Beginner March 2013
    Nutella ·
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    Quite kharvo, thought I was being fairly diplomatic and everyfink. *throws hands in the air* ?

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  • *Mini*
    Beginner January 2012
    *Mini* ·
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    Nooo don't stay away from awkward posts, the whole point of hitched, well with any discussion forum is that people ask questions, people give their opinions (cabbages) and not everyone agrees. It's part of what makes a forum, a forum. We are all adults in the main and most people can handle that we don't all agree and call each other "Hun" or say "it's your day your way babes, lol xxx"

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  • kharv
    Beginner March 2012
    kharv ·
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    Well that's me firmly back in my box. Can someone bring me a Shiraz please?

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  • Rizzo
    Beginner July 2011
    Rizzo ·
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    Vile jellus bulliez!

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  • I
    Beginner October 2013
    Irisbride ·
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    Yes because I'm the one acting like I'm 12. As you ask, name came about very randomly and is no particular reflection of me. Unlike some AmyLou, I didn't want to be easily identifiable in a public domain. Happy wedding planning! x

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  • *Mini*
    Beginner January 2012
    *Mini* ·
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    You is well out of order rizzo. Why you got to be arquard all the time?

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  • Nutella
    Beginner March 2013
    Nutella ·
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    ? Would you like some ? with that? seeing as it is your birfday and all dat ? *arquard*

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  • *Nursey*
    Beginner May 2012
    *Nursey* ·
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    I remember someone on here before saying that they didn't want a pregnant BM, and they wouldn't explain why either. Have we another AJ in the making?!

    OP - It's hard enough choosing one wedding dress, let alone one that suits 3 people of different sizes. I thought I would have a nightmare, but after spending a day in a wedding/BM dress shop, we figured out which shape suited them all

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  • *Mini*
    Beginner January 2012
    *Mini* ·
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    At least aj had a command of English?

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  • Rizzo
    Beginner July 2011
    Rizzo ·
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    You obviously have a problem with me because I'm 8 months pregnant!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Don't deny it, I know the truth!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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  • I
    Beginner October 2013
    Irisbride ·
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    Who was AJ? AJ sounds great fun!!! x

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  • *Mini*
    Beginner January 2012
    *Mini* ·
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    Well obviously rizzo, I wouldn't have you as my bm because you are 8 months preggo. Of course I am not getting married as I am such an old hag of 29 so we don't need to worry about that. I just lurk around wedding forums, drinking wine and dispensing bad advice.

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  • *Nursey*
    Beginner May 2012
    *Nursey* ·
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    Good point Mini! ?

    It's no fun when people resort to insults rather than having a good debate!

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  • *Nursey*
    Beginner May 2012
    *Nursey* ·
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    AJ was a legend, and wasn't afraid to speak his mind, but thought we all ganged up on him as he was a groom. Definitely not true, just ask the Funky one. We're nice to him ?

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  • *Nursey*
    Beginner May 2012
    *Nursey* ·
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    ? So true!

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  • RedKitchie
    Beginner August 2013
    RedKitchie ·
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    What does this mean (puts on dunces' hat)

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  • quackers
    Beginner August 2013
    quackers ·
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    But Funky gives up nice pictures to oggle!!

    AJ didn't! Though AJ was fun

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  • Tizzie
    Beginner June 2012
    Tizzie ·
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    Wow. What a thread.

    Really not sure why people join a discussion forum and get upset when they get an opinion?!

    Mini and Kharv are both brilliant people who had amazing weddings and it's quite sad to see them being talked to so rudely.

    OP - it sounds like a difficult situation but if I was a bm and standing infront of loads of people I'd be nervous as it is never mind if she is someone who has body issues too (no matter what size they are) it can be difficult for someone with body issues to find a dress and be happy with it ( again not just talking about plus size ladies.) be patient and if I had had BMs and they had paid for their dress I would let them pick different ones. Sometimes that looks really nice.

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  • *Nursey*
    Beginner May 2012
    *Nursey* ·
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    ?

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  • quackers
    Beginner August 2013
    quackers ·
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    Not saying I wanted them mind!

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  • LilMissBusyBride
    Beginner August 2013
    LilMissBusyBride ·
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    Oh god I think this is the most heated I've ever seen Hitched. Whilst I feel slightly bad for ppl I have a deadline about 3am and have been at it all day, and reading this on a 'break' has given me a sudden surge of energy. At least it was useful for someone! x

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