Ridiculous things you've done in your sleep.

I am a serial sleepwalker especially when stressed. I have moved televisions off the drawers. I have walked down two flights of stairs and opened the back door and then gone back to bed. I talk in what sounds like chinese. I frequently move from bed to bed. I have also been known to jump up and down when H is at the toilet and then shove him out of the way mid flow so I can sit down, thankfully the bath was next to the toilet. I have woken up part way through a bag of cheese and onion crisps.

I'm quiet but H is awful, particularly when stressed. Roobarb, I'm a bit worried we're married to the same man ?

He's scared of spiders and sometimes wakes me up by fighting them off.

When he's stressed about work, particularly on a Sunday night or even worse, if there's been a Bank Holiday, he talks shyte, sometimes gobbledegook, sometimes stuff about servers etc. I amuse myself by talking back and making him talk more crap ?

Once he sat bolt upright and shouted "Mum!". I pushed him on the chest and he laid back down and carried on sleeping.

He went through a phase of rapping in his sleep, but he's not done that for a while ?

The other week i woke up sudddenly with my H biting me. I shouted 'what the hell are you doing?'. He then kindly said 'don't worry about it' and rolled over.

To this day he doesn't remember what he was dreaming about. I now sleep with one eye open.

I'd forgotten about this thread! I've laughed so hard reading this... ?

I used to be a serial sleepwalker and talker when I was younger, usually when I was stressed.

The wierdest one was one night I went out with my friend Lisa and stayed over at her and her boyfriends house. I definitely took my clothes off and got into the spare bed. In the morning I woke up in their bed, in the middle of them both. I was wearing Lisa's clothes from the night before. To this day not one of us has any idea how or when I got in there ?

Ha ha! some of these are brilliant!

ive got loads. My cousin once woke me up shouting we had to find the spiders so i got up and started looking and then came round and realised what i was doing. I'm terrified of spiders!

I've been found wandering the house at all hours of the night and told my mum that i was looking for the escaped cats (we've never had a cat) When i was little i tried to convince my parents that the vikings were coming to get us and when they tried to convince me that theyd already been and gone i told them they didnt understand and flounced off. I've also woken up flat on my back lying dead in the centre of the door frame and remember thinking 'oh my god ive been abducted by aliens' but i don't know why. The other day i woke up and i was 'texting' on an invisible imaginary phone.

OH has punched me so hard i bruised all down my arm and shoulder. He was dreaming he was being raped... Another time i had just got out of bed when he punched the bed right where my face had been seconds before! There was another time he sat up in bed told me he had written all the registration numbers in the back of my book and nodded and then gave me the freakiest scariest grin ever before just lying down and going back to sleep. I sat there wondering what he was on about when he woke up and said 'i just had the oddest dream about cars and registration numbers'

My daughter talks another language, has pee'd in the kitchen bin, and come downstairs,looked at everyone and sauntered back to bed!

My ex pee'd in a corner of the bedroom, my dad pee'd in slipper and my son pee'd in his tool bag!

We're a right pishy family us eh? ?

The last random thing I can remember was dreaming my OH was taking up loads of room in bed so I had to sleep right on the edge. I was scared of falling out (it was a very high bed with a spikey floor!) so I balanced myself by sticking my leg out as if to counter balance myself. I woke up with my leg in the air.

The same night I had another dream that my cousin was telling me about a sushi place that we HAD to go for breakfast at as they did "the best frickin salads around and we need salad for breakfast"!

I have very odd dreams but I have stopped telling people them as they keep laughing at me! I cant see why.

I've always talked in my sleep and sleepwalked a bit. I peed in the washing basket when I was a kid, only found out when my Sister decided that the top she had worn the previous day wasn't actually that dirty and went to get it.

My Sister told me she tried to maintain a conversation with me about the "daisy sandwiches and jelly tea" that I was mumbling about.

The first night I spent with my man I sat bolt upright in bed pointing out the 'strawberries' on the ceiling.

I've had the spider thing aswell. I'm not really scared of them in waking life but have 'woken up' and seen hundreds of them crawling over my bed sheets and pillows and screamed the place down, my screaming is what usually wakes me up properly. We have really thin walls and I do feel sorry for my nieghbours, feel quite sheepish and daft when I properly 'come to'.

I regularly wake up on my sofa in the front room with just a small throw covering me. My living room used to be my bedroom when I had a flat mate as a student so perhaps it's my subconscious mind, but I don't wear any PJs and generally wake up 'cause I'm cold.

I 'think' I may have peed in the salad draw of my fridge (I had obviously removed it first!). Drink was involved that time. ? I went into the kitchen the next morning and saw my pot plants all over the floor, the salad draw upside down in the sink, and the distinct smell of wee, oh the shame!

Oh and whilst flat sharing at uni I barged into my pal's room, threw all her books off her desk, started humping the radiator and then grabbed about three towels and disappeared into the bathroom!?! Poor girl was petrified! I don't remember ANY of this and am mortified everytime she brings it up (evil minx).

Oh, and I dreamt I used a 'ped egg' on my feet last night and now I really want one! (They were really smooth)

I am not an aggressive person, but I once dreamt I was in a fight and punched Mr Jolly in the chest very hard. I then had the audacity to be be really annoyed when he woke me up to complain about it ?

Hahaha i cant stop laughing.

my step dad once woke up sat up straight and shouted at the top of his voice "have you ever had a fight with a whale!" and then just laid down and went back to sleep

my granddad once woke up on the floor and when asked "what are you doing?" he said " i fell off my bike" he dreamed he was riding his bike with no handlebars and no seat and fell out of bed.

Also just wanted to add another one of mine. When we were on holiday mr delicious woke me up because i was laughing and giggling really loudly in my sleep 'just to see if i was alright.' I distinctly remember being really annoyed because i had been having a really funny dream. I still don't know if he woke me because he was genuinely concerned if i was ok or whether he thought i'd actually finally gone mad.

I am sitting here laughing to myself, I have just remebered two from my teens. First one was when I woke my mum up to tell her that my little brothers were taking acid in their bedroom. They were about 2 and 4 years old at the time. I also woke her up once to tell her that the house was on fire then wondered back to bed whilst she apparently frantically checked the house.

???

That's the funniest thing I've read on this thread.

Whilst I was in halls at uni, I was woken up one night by the ex banging on the wall, trying to switch on the light. He managed after a few tries; next thing I was aware of was the sound of running water. I stuck my head round the door, to find him bollock naked, peeing in the corridor. He asked me what I was going, before walking up the corridor - leaving a trail of footprints. He disappeared for a few minutes. I found out later that he'd gone up to the top floor of the block and told people to be quiet as he was shagging; still bollock naked. ?

Whilst with the same guy, I had a dream that there was a rare and valuable book on the pillow that he was about to roll over onto. He woke up to me punching him in the face.

I've also woken up crying on a couple of occasions, which is odd more than ridiculous.

?

I just nearly peed myself laughing at this thread!!! My OH is a sleepwalker and a pissy one at that sometimes lol - I will never forget the day when he was adamant that our radiator had leaked onto his jeans and it was not him who had peed on them, his idea to prove this was to make me sniff them the dirty rat ha ha

When we lived with my mum for a bit he tried to get into bed with her and my stepdad, a few months ago I was sat up and he walked straight past me in his boxers undone the front door and went to walk into the communal hall. He said he has woke me up screaming in the past which I dont remember, I reckon it was him dreaming it and woke me up instead.

My OH tends to sleep on her back.....a couple of years ago in my semi sleep I fell out of bed.....my reaction was to throw my left hand out to grab something to hold on to........it was her right boob that I grabbed......waking her suddenly!!!!!

I was in trouble for days after this.......

Lord Vixen tends to do more things in his sleep than me. He has often got up in the night and randomly wee'd in his golf clubs, over his PS2 etc...

A few months ago we were in bed when he rolled over and said:

Lord Vixen: Are you Ben?

Me: Ben who?

Lord Vixen: Ben Kenobi

....and then punched me in the face.

He also sat up the other night, pulled all the sheets off the bed and began searching all over the bed looking for the Baby. I reassured him the baby was in his crib, so he then just said 'Well, you always get all of the food' and went back to sleep.

My ex used to appear completeley awake when he wasn't. One time he'd been working late to finish an assignment which was due in at 9am the next day. He made me promise to wake him up. So I did. He opened his eyes, looked at me and said 'it's ok, I got it wrong, it's due in at 5'. So off I went to my lectures. I got a bollocking when I went back at lunchtime (and woke him up) because he missed his deadline. He also sat there with his eyes shut after working on another assignment. I said 'don't fall asleep, you have to hand it in'. He said 'I'm not, I have written it on the inside of my eyelids and I'm checking it for spelling mistakes'.

I talk in my sleep all the time, and move about a lot - I'm told it's like sleeping with a threshing machine. The best one was when I was on a course at work (with a load of engineers from Israel). I was the only girl on the course and they wouldn't listen to me. This obviously bothered me a lot more than I realised, as H woke up to find me on my knees, pillow lifted in one hand (as if it was a hinged lid) and the other sweeping underneath it. He asked me what I was doing, and I got all huffy saying I was trying to find the tubing. When he asked me what tubing, I got even more huffy (having to admit I couldn't find it you see!) and threw a strop telling him to help me - then I woke up. The worst thing is, I actually remember it.

When I worked in Pizza Hut, I was forever waking up going on about various toppings and how quickly I needed to get these pizzas out.

Wahhhhh some of the things on this thread are hilarious! I've only sleepwalked (is that a verb?) once to my knowledge. I was about 13, and I woke up gradually with no clue what was going on, to find myself lying on my front in bed, propped up on my elbows with a book open in front of me. It's one I had been reading before bed but I was about a chapter or two ahead of myself so I must have been 'reading' it in my sleep. The light was on and at first I thought I must have fallen asleep reading but then I realised no way would my mum have gone to bed and left me with the light on (strict parents!). I guess I really wanted to know how the story turned out ?.

I talk in my sleep a fair bit as well but the most memorable time was during a busy period at work, and one of my main responsibilities at that time was producing student ID cards. I was dreaming that I was at work and MrSC was one of my colleagues but of course he was asleep. I woke both him and me up by shouting 'I can't believe you're not helping me, you're so lazy!' at the top of my voice. Most of the time he won't tell me what I've said, just that I've been talking, which leads me to believe it's embarrassing and he's saving it up for future reference ?.

I have plenty, all about H who makes sleepwalking/talking a regular occurrence. Just a few examples:

- Sits up in bed and instructs me to press the f**king button over and over again until I say (just to shut him up) that I have, and he then goes straight back to sleep
- Decides to press the panic button in our bedroom and then falls back into a deep sleep whilst our house alarm is going off at about 3am, leaving me to go downstairs and sort it out
- Wakes me up in the night telling me that ‘they’ are watching him, after quite a while of me asking who is watching him, I am told in serious tone that the penguins are watching him and could I tell them politely to stop ?
- I wake up in the night and find H carrying our TV pacing back and forth across our room, he then puts it back where he found it and went back to bed and into a deep sleep
- Manic searching in the bed at about 2am, H is rooting under the covers throwing pillows on the floor. When I ask what’s wrong he tells me he’s lost his musical sunglasses, only when I tell him I’ll buy him a new pair tomorrow does he go back into a deep sleep ?

There are loads more! It’s usually when he’s stressed, the only thing that seems to stop it happening is alcohol!

One morning i woke up and H was telling me that i'd been doing times tables in my sleep and getting all the answers wrong i'd got quite shitty with him about the fact that he was telling me the right answers but i wouldn't listen to him.

I've just remembered another one. I was in late pregnancy and struggling to sleep. I kept getting pins and needles, and various limbs would 'go to sleep' which wasn't helping much.

One night, I was exhausted and actually fell into a deep sleep. I had a lovely dream about a sausage that was almost ready to eat. I finally couldn't resist and bit into it really hard....

Unfortunately the sausage was my OWN finger that had gone to sleep. I woke my H by jumping up very fast (difficult when you're the size of a small country) and he couldn't get back to sleep for laughing. My poor finger was really bruised and sore the next day.

H once told me quite coherently in his sleep about a new gameshow he'd invented called Jumble Bandit. I misheard and said 'Jungle Bandit?' imagining some kind of cross between the Crystal Maze and I'm a Celebrity.

He said quite crossly, 'no, JUMBLE Bandit' - the gist of it was that the contestants were at a jumble sale and had to put on as many clothes as they could, and the last one to pass out won. It was hosted by Gina Yashere.

I can't imagine why nobody's commissioned this already ?

I stayed at my friends house after a night on the beer, we shared the same bed. I woke up early in the morning with her snugged up on my chest playing with my nipple ?

She had recently split up from her boyfriend who she lived with.

I've shouted out loads of things, I've just asked H for my best bits. ?

When i was living with my parents, my friend and I came back to mine after a drunken night out. She insisted on sleeping on the sofa even though there was a bed for her upstairs.

In the night she got up, peed on the stairs, took her knickers off and left them there for my dad to find in the morning.

My dad came into my room after his discovery to inform me my friend had had an accident. When I went into see her she said: "When I went to sleep last night I had knickers on but now I don't. Did your dad or brother come in here!?"

She has since tried to pee in various other places while asleep and earned the nickname "pi55y knickers".