Rude response to Save the Date

Yep, probably a tad oversensitive, but that would annoy the hell out of me too. The whole point of a Save the Date is so that people can avoid booking stuff on that date. If you aren't that fussed and there are other people you would like to have, I would do as you have said, and explain that 'due to numbers' she was only invited to the evening do.

I get that it's her 30th, and you only turn 30 once, but she doesn't HAVE to do it on the same day. If your wedding is the Saturday, she could party on the Friday, or vice versa.

My fiance's friends got married last weekend on his ACTUAL birthday, and he loved it - meant he didn't have to organise anything, and he got a free meal!

Good luck! X

I think you are being a tad over sensitive. Maybe the other friend whose birthday it is is in her own with no partner and she doesn't want to let her down. You and your partner have got each other and as long as you both turn up on the day no one else really matters.

I think maybe to some extent, you are a bit sensitive. You have sent the save the date to her, i mean she know the wedding day is how important to everyone, but she wanna celebrate the birthday for her friends. So, if i were you, i will invite her to come to the evening reception instead. There is no need to think too much about this. You have your close friends staying with you, that's fine. Congratulations! The big day is coming soon! Just make ready for your big day! Best wishes!

Personally I don't think her response is particularly unreasonable. I mean, I know you only get married once but you also only turn 30 once. When I was in my mid 20s I didn't think I'd care too much about my 30th, but when it started approaching it started to feel like an enormous milestone that needs a proper celebration. And just because she hasn't started planning it a year in advance doesn't mean it's any less important to her. Also it sounds like it was a bit of an 'in the moment' response. Maybe when she sits down and thinks about it properly she might well decide to have her party on the Friday, or a week earlier or something so she can still go to your wedding, so I wouldn't get annoyed yet. And if not, well, that's life I guess. I have an uncle who's not coming to my wedding because he already had a holiday in Portugal booked, which my nan suggested he could easily change without much extra expense but he's not going to. We've also got quite a few guests who aren't coming because it's "too far" or "too difficult to travel with the kids" which feels a bit galling since we always somehow manage to make the same "epic and treacherous voyage" to visit them regularly, but hey ho. It's a bit disappointing but at the end of the day you've just got to accept that everyone has things going on in their lives and your wedding isn't as important to them as it is to you, so just concentrate on enjoying your day with the people who can make it.

Thanks for your advice. I realise people have other events going on, I guess we are just upset as there are other people we would liked to have invited, and now feel like may appreciate it more. As suggested, I think we might mention to her that it's a evening reception invitation (and expect her not to come), which will free up space for someone else during the day. Obviously I will do this soon so she can plan her birthday celebrations knowing this. Thanks!