Rules Rules Rules....

Yea not having any traditions its our day so doing it our way!

I think most of these 'rules' probably came from the days when people followed religious and woman=subservient tradition, it depends what you're thinking of specifically! I don't know if I am following any rules, but am using traditions as a guideline. If we didn't like a usual wedding convention, we aren't doing it!

I think most of us worry about doing "what is expected " regarding weddings , either because we have relatives that are what might be referred to as "vocal" or because we over estimate what we THINK others expected of us.

This is probably very true! When one of my aunts asked which church we were getting hitched in I replied with oh well its a registry office she looked at me like i have two heads! I can't remember the last time i stepped foot in a church so why would i get married in one? I certainly wouldn't do it just to please someone.

Don't get me wrong there are a few traditions ill be following like something old, something new etc but some just seem less traditional and more... american? If that makes sense lol.

I so believe you should do it YOUR way. I take some of the traditions, like a first dance, etc. but things like the dress being my be all end all, or having bridesmaids, no way. It's my day, and I shouldn't have to play by rules for things that aren't essential; after all, it's about me and my fiance getting married and starting a new life together, not whether I see him on the wedding morning.

I totally agree, it's added pressure! When I said I didn't want any bridesmaids mum said 'you have to!' and when I showed OH a potential dress mum freaked out. No one is watching over me and going to strike me down if I do/don't adhere to these 'rules' so why do I feel like that!!! xx

The only thing you have to do is the legal bit.

Much to my mother's disgust I'm not having any bridesmaids, a veil or a tiara.

OH hasn't see the picture of me in the dress but my mum, sisters, FMIL & FSIL all have.

Not having speeches (although OH will thank everyone for coming at the very least)

Not having a first dance because we aren't having a disco/band

Won't go to the venue together but ever so slightly tempted to spend the night before the wedding together at our house.

Speeches - stage fright and i talk WAY too fast

First Dance - cant dance and i don't want 3 mins os gentle swaying

Veil - Id feel too traditional and a tiara just feels too bridey for me lol

I agree with all the ladies on here! we arent having a very traditional wedding my DF doesnt beleive in god where as i do so we decided to have it at a registry office, i also hated the idea of just anyone being able to come in and watch our wedding. its a personal thing and people are on the guest list for a reason. Also not having a meal but having speeches at our reception, (we are getting married at 4pm) My dad isnt around so my best friend DF's old school friend is giving me away No traditions here but hopefully lots of fun! im not wearing a tiara either. If you cant put your own personal stamp on your wedding day when can you? x

I was dreading the wedding of my son mainly because of tradition etc - it had all the signs of a complete nightmare - all the parents involved were divorced and remarried - so there were four partners all claiming to be parents!

I decided right at the beginning not to have an 'opinion' and be there for them - in the end it worked out fine - they did what they wanted to do and we all turned up and wished them well but golly for a few minutes i was a little worried ?

We are having certain traditions but not others.

- OH doesn't wish to see my dress before the big day.

- We will be having speeches, but not sure who from yet.

- I am arriving in a half-track military vehicle rather than a shiny posh car.

- Our Head Usher will be in full military uniform, sword and all.

- Jagerbombs for our speeches rather than generic toast drinks

I am loving the Jagerbomb idea!! x

I can't think of a single tradition we are keeping lol.

He's seen my dress and its pink

no speaches, no reception, no meal, no cake cutting.

might have a birdcage veil but probably not.

Will be staying together the night before, arriving together.

Not being given away.

Oh, thought of 1! We are having rings ?

We're incorporating some traditions but not others. Of those we aren't having include:

- Dances: no father/daughter or mother/son dance.

- Flowers: no corsages for the MOB or MOG; no buttonholes for those that are family members but not a part of the wedding party; no throwing of the bridal bouquet.

- Cars: arriving on a retro bus with my bridesmaids.

- Speeches: speeches by MOH, BM and Groom only.

- Wedding party: no flowergirls or pageboys; parents will walk first; bridesmaids will walk next with groomsmen; will not be given away by anyone.

I find the 'traditions' and 'rules' surrounding weddings to be very tedious, old fashioned and sometimes even insulting in this day and age.

Myself and my other half have children, come from divorced parents and have lived together for the best part of 3 years. I think a lot of the wedding do's and don'ts we (women) are told now are just there to make money, if I'm honest. Because not that many people fit into the mould of what a 'traditional' bride is supposed to be. I can understand people who want to stick to tradition, but only if their lives reflect that.

I don't want our wedding day to be like a big show, it would feel like a farce because that's just not who we are.

I see people complaining about things in their wedding they aren't keen on but because 'its tradition' they feel they should stick to it? Hells No people! Do what you want on your day, If you don't like fruit cake don't have it, If you aren't keen on the white dress wear a different coloured one, if you hate speeches don't do them.

Times change, 'tradition' doesn't. Don't do something you're not comfortable with on what's supposed to be the happiest day of your life!

No wedding cake, no ties/cravats for the groom, ushers, etc. shots of slivovic (plum brandy from the Czech republic) after the speeches.

I did mention to my OH I didn't want bridesmaids and he was horrified!! I'm just not fussed.

I love that i started this post now. I thought i was being a bit naughty and 'improper' glad there's other out there!

I love that you did too! I feel like we're doing a few things 'for my mother' a f**king cake that I have to hear about every friggin' day, for example.

The rock band and metal soundtrack - that's us, so we're having it!! lol

Hell, no, I'm keeping mine!!

I think traditional weddings are just that- traditional. A lot of people aren't doing the 'rules' anymore because it just doesn't apply these days.

For instance, we're not hiring some big posh fancy cars because we live right near the venue. I will not splashes out £££s to travel for 10 minutes. Not only that, but my colour scheme is purple and my car is purple.... I'm having a ribbon put round Penelope (the car) and my bridesmaid is going to drive it.

In the olden days, not everybody had a car so they had to hire one to get to their venue, (who wants to walk in a wedding dress?!) but now like everyone has one so why not use it? Especially if it's the right colour!! Although I can understand if people want to hire them, I just don't feel the need to.

We're not having a proper DJ either- one of his favourite past-times is putting playlists together and my Dad is chairman of some club that have big fancy pants speakers so we're just playing an ipod.

No hymns,(not religious but still wanted a church for sentimental reasons) no veil, probably no photographer but we'll see how that goes.

Probably not going to have a first dance and on no circumstance will I be dancing with my Dad!

Having fake flowers in my bouquet, and I'll be the only one with flowers. No throwing it, that way we can keep it forever (living room's purple so it'll fit just nicely )

Ignore everyone else- if they have so many opinions on your wedding then they can pay for it themselves. Just do what you want because otherwise you'll regret it in the long run.