Sad that it has come to this

Sad its come to this?

I actually always quite liked AJ in a novelty way- he was a bigoted twunt of course but provided some light entertainment on those long old evenings on my own.

After the "people who smoke deserve to die of cancer" gem- I think being banned from a forum is quite a lenient "punishment" IMO.

Thank you. We discussed a few options but I try and prepare for if the worst does happen by eating healthily and getting myself as strong as poss to fight it if/when it happens. I don't want surgery before any diagnosis and don't think I am strong enough in my sexuality to have my breasts removed at this stage as a preventative measure though.

The cancer I got the all clear from last week was skin cancer which also seems to be in the genes as it were.

There is no saying I will ever get either just because I have the genes for it but I try and prepare myself just in case.

Probably best not to paraphrase it in your own words, especially when many here haven't seen the original and therefore only have statements like yours to go on. This was not what AJ said, and whatever your interpretation of what he actually said is, it's not fair to potentially misrepresent it to others.

Although I appear to be defending, I'm not attacking (or even challenging) people who objected to his turn of phrase. People are free to make their own judgements on that, of course. It just doesn't seem particularly fair to summarise things in ones own words (in favour of the most horrific interpretation), especially given the extremely sensitive, angry and emotional responses he had for what he DID say.

Which is why it is sensible to be careful in your choice of words on an emotive topic. Whilst everyone is entitled to their opinion, if you have made a statement which is open to interpretation (and on this occasion there wasn't much room for interpretation, it said what it said), you have to accept the consequence that some will interpret in an upsetting way.

If you have said something which has hurt someone's feelings, you should apologise. You don't have to be sorry for holding an unpopular opinion but you can be sorry for expressing it in such a place/manner as to cause offence.

I cannot see why this is apparently such a surprise to so many people. The person's comments have toed close to, and indeed strayed over, the line of what is acceptable in a public forum on more than one occasion. This is not a criticism of his opinions, which are his to hold no matter how repulsive I or any other person might find them, but as I said above the manner in which he has chosen to express them.

**My apolgies hitchers- this is purley my interpretation of what AJ said**

It was most Hitchers' interpretation, including mine.

No need to apologise, he didn't. I think his descriptive statement was worst in my opinion

Ideed RB- but I would hate to put words in other peoples mouths!

?

.

Ouch!

AJ, is that you?

Can this thread be closed or something? He's gone, many people he upset are glad of that and hopefully the forum will be a smoother running place for it, but there's not really any need to paw over the details like gossip hungry vultures. Just seems a little crass.

.

no pun intended Orange one?!!

.

Who were you originally PawPaw? C'mon don't be shy....

.

WSS

Who were you then? Why feel the need to come on here after all this time to insult AJ when he can't come on and defend himself? The comment about his wedding invites was a low blow.

I second,third,fourth and fifth this.

This is why I have it in my mind that it could be him.

It's a bit convenient for a random to come on here and only post to slate AJ once he has gone. Very weird.

Anyway FWIW I don't think it's sad that it came to this I think it was a long time coming and he brought it upon himself. He was little more than a troll most of the time from what I saw.

Deleted their comments. What was the point in even posting in the first place? What a tw@t.

This is all very strange. What was pawpaw saying and was he AJ?

FWIW AJ was always very helpful to me, and I am thankful for that, but then again I haven't seen directly what was said and have never really been that offended at things he said. I feel sorry for people who have got upset over his comment on the forum, which quite possibly he only said to play devil's advocate and get the effect seen in people's replies. That would be awful if he said shocking things just for the sake of it, and still awful to continue pressing his views after upsetting people.

I was awaiting results of a colposcopy and the worst 2 weeks of my life finally ended last week when my letter arrived saying I need further treatment but also clearly saying 'NOT cancerous cells'. I smoked for 5 years or so... I don't think those 2 things could be related. My mother smoked once when she was a teenager and recently had to have several breast cysts checked out and again she was clear and lucky. Her aunt, who was a devout Christian and never touched a drop of drink or smoked ever in her life died from vicious and aggressive kidney and ovarian cancers. I bet we all have stories like that. It is very disrespectful to make comments such as the opinion seems to be of what AJ said. But it is an open forum and people do have the right to express opinions, even if they appear hateful, bigoted and so on. I really dislike censorship in any form but sounds as if a line was crossed.

Whatever aj did or didn't do aside, the point you make is incorrect I'm afraid - doing those things here is against forum rules and suspension and/or banning may result from breaking said rules. The mods dealt with it as they saw fit. The fact that plenty of people agree with that suspension is interesting but irrelevant.

I think we should all go and have a restorative G&T - who's with me?!

Have a good weekend, folks.

I'm with you CB make mine a double x

It's also sad that a lack of consistent & timely moderation allows a lot of issues that need addressing go totally unchecked for ages. It isn't like this is a totally non-commercial forum. There are a number of stakeholders involved with this forum / site for whom loose canons combined with poor moderation are a caustic mix

You do know what 'secret' means?

I've never met anyone else the same as me. (well Ive not met you but you know what I mean) Every female on both sides of my family has or has had it I'm the only one left without it, again I have the gene and it's a waiting game.

Please forgive me, when you wrote:

Eee what av a missed, bloody messin me secret santa up!!

I thought you meant that you had AJ for the SS.

I was here last night too but didnt see anything, what was this all about???