Save The Date Issue

How about a card rather than a save the date specifically:

"We're getting married on xx xxx 2014. We know it's a long way, so we don't expect you to shell out the cash but I hope you'll come to our Canadian celebration after the event. If you want a nosy about what our wedding will be like, visit our website : www.... If you fancy the excuse to make a trip to the UK let us know - we'd love you to be there!"

Thoughts? You ARE inviting them (you say that anyone who wants to come is welcome) so I don't see why you need to separate STDs for UK and Canada people. Nor why you aren't sending invitations to people you'd gladly have there. I sent regular invitations to people I knew wouldn't travel.

In your shoes, I'd send STDs to everyone (well, I wouldn't send STDs but that's by the by).

Then I'd send invitations to everyone and have a little line on the back, saying 'We are planning a party in Canada for those who can't make it to the UK. Please see our website for more details, our guest book and general information'.

I agree with FTLOMB, purely because you could be surprised woth people who might make the trip, and you wouldn't know otherwise.

But another idea, if you do want to keep separate is to make 2 save the dates, one for Canada and one for UK, and then party invites to Canada guests and wedding invites to UK guests. Although, to avoid any misundesratnding, I'd advise you verbally explain your Canada ppl why you did it this way.

Good luck, let us know what you decided

Just a polite word of advice, don't assume that people won't come.

We made that mistake - we have relatives in Spain, Dubai, and assumed that because of the travel involved, costs, etc, that they wouldn't come.

How wrong we were - we almost discounted them in the "Final Numbers" and it turns out that they are all coming, given that they have waited seventeen years to see us finally tie the knot.

I would send invites to those who you want there, and don't send invites to those you don't. At least then you have spaces to fall back on if they decide not to come and you can fill them up as and when. They don't need to know that they are on the "reserve" list, as it were.

I hope that helps

Sorry, busy day and no time to pop on!

I guess I should have specified more. I wanted to send the Save the Dates (lol I hate typing that out but I hate writing STD!!) to everyone but to cut costs, I didnt want to send invites to people we know aren't coming. I am 100% sure none of my cousins are coming (they have told me), and possibly 1-2 aunts/uncles would come but thats a low chance. I come from a huge family...my mom has 8 other brothers and sisters and my dad has 7. Thats a lot of cousins, second cousins, remarriages, etc. And everyone is spread out all across the country so its not like I can just pop by and hand them out.

I kinda like the idea of keeping the front as a save the date still. with a computerized message on the back for some and maybe perhaps leaving the rest blank and hand writting a note like was suggested (the wording I mean) and saying, we know you wont be able to make it but just wanted you to have a momento and still be able to share in the day? Or something like that.

Hahah I am sooooooooo not Ms Etiquette and this wouldnt bother me at all, but Im not everyone else.

PS

Seriously, thank you for the replies. I love having somewhere to go where people know what I am going through and arent involved enough to say "it HAS to be this way". I think this site saves my sanity, especially when I read of someone feeling how I feel.

We have a similar issue with family in Ireland who we know won't travel the distance. We are sending out std to everyone, but like others are saying, we are adding a note saying something along the lines of 'We'd obviously love everyone to make it to our big day, but understand that this won't be possible for all. In order to help us with ideas of numbers and to save you getting a pesky invite you don't need, if you know you won't be able to make it could you let us know now. Many Thanks!'

Hmm maybe that could be an idea as well. Luckily the people who are the chance of being offended are all my family..lol so I dont need to worry about offending future family