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Beginner September 2015

save the date's - need some advice!

SunnyBlackConfetti19, 14 July, 2014 at 13:34 Posted on Planning 0 4

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Quick question re Save the Date cards for any of you who have used them - did you put the guests names on them to clarify exaclty who was going to be invited?

We've already said we're inviting children of friends, but they can have a day off and leave them at home if they want but family wise it gets complicated....

We're inviting aunts, uncles and young cousins, adult cousins and partners (if their an established couple) and cousins children if they live with the cousin. this is where it gets compliacted though - my fiance's male cousin,who is single, has a daughter he has limited contact. it just seams strange to be inviting him, and his toddler daughter, when she doesnt live with him/he isn't with her mother. problem is though that his mum/fiance's aunt could throw an epic strop if her grandchild isn't invited (worth noting though that her other adult granchildren wont be invited) Similarly, my Aunt would be offended if i didnt invite her grandchild but as we know him, and his dad (my cousin) and his stepmum have another wee boy who'll be invited it would just seam cruel to not invite him automatically-he's part of their family unit.

Also have the issue of fiance's mum expecting plus one's for her single friends/naighbours etc.

In a way, it would be really good if we could clarify from the outset exactly who we'll be inviting so any drama's are sorted well before the invitations go out but i'm just not sure if save the date's are normally addressed so specifically.

Sorry, thats a bit long and i'm mayboe overthinking it all but grateful for any advice people could share!

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Latest activity by xoxoxo2017, 14 July, 2014 at 14:31

Beginner March 2012
kharv · 14 July, 2014 at 13:41
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I honestly don't think it matters. In your situation I'd get them made with the names on.

Or don't bother sending save the dates and just send your invitations a bit earlier. That's what I did.
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Beginner March 2011
Mrs C · 14 July, 2014 at 13:43
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Why are you sending save the dates?

I would either be really specific on the save the dates or send invitations a little earlier as Kharv suggested.
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Beginner September 2015
SunnyBlackConfetti19 · 14 July, 2014 at 13:46
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We're getting married school september weekend and conscious that a lot of friends/family take the chance to get away if they can. also just really like the idea of making and sending them
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Beginner July 2016
Tams90 · 14 July, 2014 at 13:53
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Hi, what we initially did was as soon as we got numbers from our venue we made a list of everyone who we wanted to come, then a list of people we thought we should invite but not necessarily wanted there, if you get me, this list included children as we're trying to make it a kids free wedding.

We checked with the family/friends first if it was ok if this person didn't come ect. and made sure it was sort of clear before we send the save the dates.

As for the save the dates, I haven't sent ours out yet as we've still got a while to go but I haven't put anyone's name on them, there all the same, but states formal invitation will follow. So if their not clear by the save the date, once they get the invitation they'll defernetly know who is and who isn't invited.

Personally we don't have the family issue like you've explained, but we do have a few friends that are single and we've agreed that if they don't have a partner by the time of the wedding we're not going to offer a plus one, or if we haven't met the other half their not invited. Seems harsh I know but at the end of the day you have to think about costs and the fact your paying for someone you either don't know or don't want there in the first place.

Hope that helps.
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Beginner May 2017
xoxoxo2017 · 14 July, 2014 at 14:31
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We made save the dates for definite guests with names on as it is a Friday and in August, and named all people we are inviting.

For those who we cant extend the invite to a partner (for the day time at least) we included a little note from us
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save the date's - need some advice!

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