school trips - are we allowed to withdraw?

I'm pretty sure you just tell the school yo udon't want your child to go. They'll then have to sit in on another class or in a teacher's office for her day I'd assume.

I dont see why not. I remember when we went on trips there was always a couple of children left behind.

I know at my Daughters school we can withdraw consent to visits.

But I think , if I were to withdraw consent, my Daughter would wonder why she was being excluded from doing what her friends were doing.

I don't see why you couldn't withdraw them but at the same time not sure why you wouldn't want them to go. School trips were always educational but always had an element of fun / 'bonding'.

That is what I thought as well. But I have just had the class teacher on the phone balling me out saying that it is the school's absolutely line that all children MUST go on this trip that is isn't optional. Telling me that she feels bad that I 'feel that you would lose face' (I told my son he couldn't go because of extreme bad behaviour over the weekend and this morning), and that 'we should get together to sort out punishments that would be meaningful to L'

Gah!

had you signed the consent form then changed your mind? or had you not signed anything at all? I'm pretty sure the parent has a right to say what trips their children attend, however if the school deem the trip as educational, and they'll be working on projects related to the trip, maybe you should look at another punishment.

Hmmm that's a hard one. It's not down to the school (unless they've paid for it which I doubt) to decide whether or not your son goes. It's not for them to decide punishments for your child's behaviour outside of school (unless you're making a bad one - and I can't say whether you are or not).

I would also be considering making a complaint to the teacher that her bawling you out (regardless of the fact it was over the phone) is totally unprofessional behaviour. If she disagrees with your decision that's fine but to tell you off for it because you might lose face? Why would you lose face - unless you change your mind again?

I see your point now you have explained.

I agree with you.

Maybe it will cause an issue for them if every other child is going as they might not have cover for him to be at school. Will you be able to keep him at home if that is the case?

I received the consent form on Friday (trip is on Thursday). The letter says that "The purpose of this trip is to help build up even better relationships with their staff." From what I can gather, it is a team bonding exercise. With no other projects being done on it. If I could think of another punishment, I would give it to him.

So by the sounds of it, the trip is a "treat" and a fun day out for the kids. I would think your son missing that would be a very "meaningful punishment". Stick to your guns and withdraw him.

You are within your right to withdraw your child from a trip - if that is what you want to do. The school can not stop you. They can ask you to keep him at home (if the whole school is going and there is no adult in school who can be with your child). If there are other classes staying in school then your child should be expected to go to another class and do classwork there for the duration of the trip.

The teacher should not be saying anything to you over the phone, it should not make a difference to the order of the day at all - imagine if children are ill on that day, it wouldn't stop the trip or change it in anyway.

I agree with this. It won't be you who ";oses face", it'll be your son, and as such is a 'meaningful punishment' in my book and will hopefully stop him doing it again.

Disclaimer: IDHKSIDU

Moving away from the question 'can you withdraw', and moving more to the question "should you withdraw"..

I can completely see how you would want to remove a 'treat' from your son if his behaviour warrants it, but I can also see how the school feels - its a difficult line to blur between discipline at home and discipline at school and if you remove your child from a trip as a 'punishment' then it does impact on how the teacher interacts with your child, which does then impact on her job.

Personally speaking, having a young son myself I know how hard it can be to discipline them, but as much as it would pain me to allow my son to go on the trip if he'd done something really bad, I think that I would stay away from banning things that are not under my direct control.

I suppose it would depend on what the 'crime' actually was though..

Thanks for replying all. Now I have calmed down a bit, I have spoken to someone else in the school. He is going on the trip, but his punishment is being 'moved' to a different activity. They are going to make sure he knows that he is still getting the punishment and not doing this other thing, and are going to make it quite clear to him that we are not happy. This other person is going to speak to the class teacher too.

I have made it clear I'm not happy about it, but am prepared to compromise a little.

I'm going to be honest with you and I hope you take it with a pinch of salt because I'm not a parent, but I'm a teacher. I can see how the teacher feels. Your son has been misbehaving with you, however you are transferring the home punishment to the school environment. By that I mean that it is up to the school to leave him behind, give him extra work and move him to another class for the day. Therefore, to your son it seems to him that the school are punishing him (I know that is not how it seems to you, but to a child this is how they will see it). I had a child last year who could not go on a trip because his parents did not fill in a permission slip. I know that it wasn't my fault he couldn't go, but having him weeping in my arms and stretching out after me as I left was heartbreaking. And this was not my fault, nor should I have had to deal with it. It was the parent's fault, yet I was left to actually pick up the pieces.

I firmly believe that school and home should work together and find common behaviour management programmes if appropriate, but I'm not sure about giving the school the responsibility to carry it out. It would be better to enforce a punishment that you can carry out, when you are present. That way, he knows exactly what he has done wrong and who is enforcing it.

I hope I don't offend you, it's not my intention at all.