Scrap all the planning and elope? or do most couples go through this?

I can't really give any wise words, but I think we all find wedding planning stressful at times, especially because of the guest list - just wait until you try & do a seating plan!

I can see the attraction of eloping, you could always have the big party when you get back, or not. Either way, sit down & figure out exactly what you both want from your wedding day - it's that you marry, right?

We went from planning a huge big wedding and then realised that all of that wasn't as important to us, so we considered abroad, but eventually decided upon a much, much smaller intimate wedding, followed by a honeymoon.

Good luck.

x

And I thought I had it complicated haha. I'm sorry it's started off so stressful for you. Personally, I would invite who you and your partner want there and if they turn it down because so and so is going or because they don't want to travel then that's it for me. You can never please everyone. I can see why eloping sounds easier! Hope you manage to sort it.

Hi, I am eloping and its so much easier for us to do that than stay at home. We are taking our best friends and parents, brothers and sisters. Then when we come home we are having a big evening reception, to me this is bliss. We initially booked a reception in the UK then 2 days later we changed our minds due to the fact our family giving us hassle. Weddings are stressful, everyone seems to want an input and it brings out the worst in people. My moto now is to do what we want, sod everyone else. I say have a think about what you both want without thinking of others as its YOUR big day! X

When I got married I didn't know that you could go marry on a beach somewhere or else I would have!

I remember my husband's sister using the "If they come I won't" line. She had fallen out with some of his family friends who he wanted to invite. I simply said "What a shame, we'll miss you." That was the end of that! She turned up at the wedding.

I'm going through the same thing at the minute! I'm trying to do the seating plan to suit everyone, and all I seem to hear from other people is 'I want this' or 'I want that' or family members trying to invite last minute guests! I don't think people realise how much planning goes into a wedding. I find it helps to take a step back and remember that the day is about you and your partner, and as long as you are married at the end of the day, that's all that matters.

We all go through it to some degree - chin up!

I've got a family feud where my grandma is begging me to invite them anyway, the "oh you can't invite one lot of cousins and not invite bob, Fred, Jim, Hugh, Pugh, Barney Mcgrew and the dog as well", cousins demanding to bring other halves, two deteriorating major illnesses....

Just come back here to vent whenever you need to!!

From an old married, elope if you fancy it and have a "do" when u get back! It's your day, u need to be happy! :-) our friends did this (wed with few close relatives Abroad and reception when home) it was lovely! I kind of wish we had now. :-)

Hi

I totally understand what you mean cause I feel exactly the same I'm getting married this August and at times I feel like just going and getting married and not tell anyone. I think everyone has problems with family members. I feel like all we've seemed to do is try and keep other people happy most recently I've had a falling out with the bestman's gf and wuite frankly I don't want her at my wedding but I have been told to keep the peace and I'm just like why should I pay to have someone I don't even want there!

All I can advise is you do what You want and not other people remember it's your day and not theirs xx

Hi Ian

I think almost all of us will identify with at least one, probably more, of the challenges you face. Yes sometimes it does make you wish you'd just eloped. At the end of the day though eloping is great for some, but for most of us and for whatever reason, we can't face not letting our family and friends be part of the actual day. We almost all face limitations on numbers for a variety of reasons but that's just the way it is, and that's what dictates many of our decisions which people don't seem to realise are very hard for us to make too. We all make difficult decisions when deciding how and where we get married and know some people will be unhappy.

What never ceases to amaze me is how badly some guests behave either because "how can you possibly be choosing them over me" (that's what we've had - we weren't choosing anyone, they were/are all invited), "what do you mean I can't bring the family who live three towns away?" and "But I can't possibly wait 30 mins to be fed and why would I eat that anyway". I am of the school that we are catering for and should look after our guests, but at the same time, people seem to lose all ability to be rational, adult human beings. And some do it with such incredible style. I do just wish everyone would just have a little bit more thought for others at times.

So yes - welcome to the world of wedding planning Enjoy lol xx

In hindsight I wish we had eloped - I'm 8 days away from my wedding.

Still - my hope lies with it will be worth it in the end.

It's horrible when it all gets like this. We have been incredibly lucky (touch wood, knock on wood, fingers crossed etc).

People should all just put it aside for one day for the sake of the couple. At the end of the day they are all there because they love and care for the couple so should be able to put up and shut up for the day.

Hahaha, some very comforting replies - although I'm worried we have it worse than many :/ yikes..

Actually, I don't think I worded my original post correctly, the 'Wedding' is not the big deal, it's the reception afterwards that is a pain - although I suppose that in turn affects the wedding as those who are at one will be at the other (most likely!)...

We're off to see another venue tomorrow (fingers crossed!) so we'll see how that goes down (hopefully it's the one!) - as for now, eloping has been put onto the backburner haha, but I'm sure it'll rear it's head a fair few more times down the line!

My folks 'eloped' - well I'm not sure they planned on getting married when they went away on a long holiday, but it happened anyway. Although it'd be impossible to copy them, their journey involved driving from England through countries like Syria and Iraq and getting married Kuwait...