*sensitive* *BT* need some advise

Straight up ask them how their sex life is. It's just as intrusive.

My sister has awful PCOS and she's had 3 kids now! Try not to panic.

I'm sorry to see your knews. I don't really know anything about it so I have no advice but have a hug ?

Personally I'd just tell them to f*** off and stop being so nosy! Well, that's how I deal with people from work etc.

My friends know me well and therefore don't tend to ask.

Just to try and put your mind at rest (unless the docs have told you otherwise) PCOS doesn't necessarily mean that you can't have children. My friend was told she had virtually no chance of conceiving naturally but has done twice.

In response to your question though, people will get bored of asking you and you will get better at handling it. Your diagnosis is still new so understandably it's all quite raw but in time hopefully this will improve.

People used to say this to me all the time when I got married but the comments soon stopped when it was apparent we had no interest in having a baby yet.

I would just say to them, 'it's not really something we're thinking about yet' and leave it at that.

The 'how's your sex life' response always sounds me like you've got a problem with your own sex life, but that might just be me overthinking it!

"It's complicated. And painful to talk about."

... is a polite way to make people cringe in to themselves when they realise the error of their nosiness.

Sorry to hear about it ... I think once you come down off the shock of it and learn to live with the idea, a whole big host of options will open themselves up to you. If you want to be parents, you will be

I like your approach to it SillyWrong. It's a polite way of reminding them they are being rude and out of order. It's none of their business at the end of the day what you are doing or not doing. Sorry to hear about your diagnosis xx That is all a bit much without people asking insensitive questions.

PS l am always astonished why people ask questions like that. I have never asked anyone that question. My best friend is trying to conceive at the moment and those questions do upset her and make her angry. I gently reminded an acquaintance of mine on Saturday not to ask me that question. Plus reminding her it upset some people. She then proceeds to tell me she doesn't know why people call it trying for a baby and she found it really easy to get pregnant 3 times. Great, as long as you're ok then. Smug thoughtless people wind me up!

I'm sorry to hear your news. As someone above said it doesn't mean you won't be able to have children, but I completely understand you must be very upset about the news.

I really like SillyWrongs suggestion! Honest and it tells them to bore off. Having said that, I wonder whether a really insensitive person may just ask what exactly is wrong with you rather than getting the message?

I don't know why people ask this question. It's hugely insensitive and so rude.

I've been asked a few times by the same girl and have become so wound up I asked her if she's had sex lately. I don't think she understood what I was getting at so I explained to her that it's not an appropriate question to ask as some people may find it difficult to conceive. She then asked me whether I was one of those people!!! What a plonker!

I think people a lot of the time have a case of glass houses and all that so they don't seem to realise that whilst everything may be onkey dory for you it takes one little thing and their world smashes and everybody has to be all good to them and expected to watch their mouths and stuff but they don't really realise it takes one little thing and everything could be so different for them.

If that makes any sense?

Luckily I haven't had the feeling of anybody asking to be malice yet as I'm not sure I could cope with that especially at the moment.

We sort of decided were going to tell his parents I don't have mine on Facebook but I do there's (god I regret this decision! !) So innocently they make grandchild comments at us I think they would be although very loose tonged about most things mortified to find out later.

Thank you to everybody for sharing their stories it's Deffo not the end just going to make things slightly harder I guess worse case scenario if all fails we will just be absolutely awesome auntie and uncle!

It makes people think about how intrusive / insensitive they're being though Holey. They don't want to discuss that...

I'm so sorry about your diagnosis. I really really feel for you. We are having problems TTC and it's heartbreaking. Don't beat yourself up for choking up - I once cried at an advert which had a baby in it, even though the advert focus was insurance! PCOS doesn't necessarily mean you won't be a mother - I'm a member of a couple of TTC groups and there have been ladies in there who have fallen pregnant, despite a PCOS diagnosis. I see a counsellor who has really helped me with coping with TTC so if you can, I would recommend it.

In terms of how to handle people asking ... at the start I used to mumble about not being ready, but now I'm quite open about it - although I appreciate that's not for everyone! I just got sick of having to pretend and I didn't want our infertility to be a taboo subject. I really like SillyWrong's suggestion - that way you're not telling the details but you are telling them politely to back the f*** off.

I wish you the best of luck, lovely, you really do have my sympathy. Are you on mumdrum? There's a fab board dedicated to TTC which I've found absolutely invaluable for support. Xxx

Not to derail the thread but I'm not sure it would. If they are the type to ask the question in the first place this probably won't sink in!

I'm tempted to go with sillywongs idea of just telling them it's a painful subject and moving onto how the weather has been recently I think that will be a good topic if people persist maybe dependent on who they are a discrete word people don't mean to make me sad I know that I guess for some reason they think it's an obvious as soon as I'm married I've got to have a child :-/

Not joined mum drum I assumed it was just for people who was pregnant to be honest maybe I'll say hello at some point

I have pcos too. Think of it this way- at least you know that getting pregnant may be a bit harder for you and the doctors can start giving you help straight away. If you diddnt know them you could be trying for ages before anything was diagnosed.

It doesn't mean you can't have kids, far from it. Once you get over the shock of the diagnosis I am sure you will see that it's not as blesk as it is now.

Nope! The socially inept woman at work asked me when I was having kids. Asking her about her sex life certainly shut the nosy cow up!

If you do, you will be welcomed with open arms on the TTC boards. It's definitely not just for people who are pregnant, although there is of course a board dedicated to that. I don't know what I would have done without MD - it really is a fantastic source of support. Something to think about - you don't have to suffer in silence on your own. X