Should I explain why they aren't bridesmaids??

Hi,

i would definitely explain that you can't afford to have them all as bridesmaids and I would let them know sooner rather than later, that way it saves any embarrassment as you get further down the planning (in case they are assuming they are all bridesmaids). I certainly had no idea how much Weddings cost until we started planning and I'm sure they will be understanding when they realise that your decision is purely down to budget.

The idea about getting them involved in other ways is fab. They could do readings, be your witnesses or help you out with any of the bits and pieces that you are planning on doing/making yourself ie invitations, venue decoration etc.

Hi,

I would tell them you'd love to have them but just can't afford it, explain it's not within your budget & that you'd love them to be but just can't manage. I'm sure they'll understand. As you said you could ask them to be involved in other ways, sure they won't mind.

It's a difficult one but people need to realise how much money weddings cost, I am having 1 bridesmaid and that's dear enough. They may offer to pay for their own dresses etc.....if they think it's down to cost/budget, how would you feel about that? Congratulations on your engagement too and welcome to hitched xx

Thanks for the advice!! If they offered to pay for their own dress then I'd be delighted to have them! It really is a cost thing. When you put the dress/hair/make up/gift etc all together, 2 extra bridesmaids does add up to a lot!!

It's not unusual for older bridesmaids to pay for their dresses and shoes

Just as another viewpoint - I had four bridesmaids and I managed to find their dresses for £28 each (Rise Boutique) and their shoes for £10 (eBay). I didn't pay for hair and makeup as we had a couple of friends who are really good at that kind of thing who came and helped out on the morning. I did buy them gifts but I know they wouldn't have minded what I got them so you could do something homemade.

Just wanted to let you know that it doesn't need to cost a fortune ?

I agree you can do bridesmaids without spending a fortune. Obviously I don't know your budget but we're spending about £60 per bridesmaid. They have matching dresses but one is wearing shoes she already owned, bought one pair in te sale for another one. Not getting them hair or make-up but they don't care at all about that. Have got them a bracelet each as a gift. Just saying it is do-able if you want the three - just means compromising in places. IMO having them be a bridesmaid is more important than them wearing my dream bridesmaid dresses that were £200 each.

To be honest, I'm not planning on spending a lot of money on the bridesmaids I do have - it's just that all added up I have 3 bridesmaids, 3 flowers girls and 2 paige boys so, even keeping costs down, we're already a bit stretched. After the advice though, I have just spoken to both girls in question who took it really, really well and said they want to be involved in any way possible and are happy to just be there on the special day. I'm so chuffed and will definitely get them involved in the service

Thanks for all the advice, I really appreciate it because I'm finding it all very overwhelming at the moment!! xx

Aaw that's wonderful that you've had that conversation with them and it clearly went well. Shows they are good friends. Fantastic that you can involve them in other ways.

I think this is an inspiration to so many B2Bs out there in similar situations who dread these conversations. For me it shows that a true friend will understand and will want to help you all they can. If you can't have this conversation, then they're not a true friend.

good luck with the rest of your planning.

X

Good news!