Should I go to wedding I was invited to, without OH?

I would go. It wouldn't really bother me either way if my OH was invited or not. You are the person they want there and if they have a number constraint it may not have been possible to invite OH's if they aren't known terribly well. I have invited a good friend to mine who has been with her OH for 5 years. Never met him and didn't invite him due to numbers. I did say he could come to the evening but she's happy to come without. I have also been invited to a wedding where I had been with my ex for 5 years but he wasn't invited. I left him at home and went and had a great time with friends. If you will know other people it won't be a big deal would it? I wouldn't take offense to it but that's jsut me. Have you invited all of their family to your wedding?

Wouldn't bother me about H not getting an invite.

You don't know that is has anything to do with their beliefs, they may just not have the room or budget. Especially as it appears you may be bumped guests anyway.

We had a strict rule of no partners we didn't know, although we did make an exception for marrieds and engageds. But that's not to say everyone has to do that.

I'd go, and it wouldn't bother me that my OH wasn't invited.

They're your friends, not his

Definitely! I think it would be a bit petty to decline the invitation just because your OH wasn't invited (although I appreciate that you probably wouldn't tell them that).

We all know what it's like planning a wedding and how hard the guest list is. We've not invited two of my cousins' fiancees, because we've never met them. I'd rather have another friend who I know and whose company I enjoy, than a random girl I've never met just because she's engaged to my cousin.

I would go, it wouldn't bother me.

I'd go.

We all know how expensive weddings are and sometimes you have to cut people, even if you don't really want to. I've said that unless we know other halves well, we shan't be inviting them (unless people will be on their own), just so we can save money.

If it is a cultural thing, then as much as you may not agree with it, you have to respect their wishes IMO

Last year my mother's cousin's daughter invited my mother, my brother & his family, my sister and her family and me and my family to her wedding. Her dad died a while ago and my mother is the ONLY family her dad had and my mother is her godmother.

At the time I had been with OH 4 years but we weren't engaged or living together so I interpreted the invite as just me and my two children. I wasn't offended he wasn't invited - they had never met him, were not married etc.

I would certainly go in your position without OH and respect their wishes

I'd go. I think you might be being a little bit harsh on them actually. We all know that when planning a wedding the guest list can be a nightmare; it's lovely that you are invited but I really wouldn't take it personally that your OH isn't - especially if they've only met him a handful of times. It's probably just down to cost/room etc

I'd go, with it being a muslim wedding its possible it will be a huge affair with lots of family there so numbers may be tight.

I would go anyway.

I invited some friends to the day and their boyfriends to the evening, I didn't know them and it was my friends that I wanted to share my day with.

and again, exactly this

I would always invite a partner if the couple were married or engaged as KHarv has said. I would feel abit weird going to a wedding without H but I wouldn't not go at the same time. Having been married myself and had trouble with cutting down a guest list due to costs it isn't easy. She hasnt not invited your OH to be funny.

I'm going to break a bit from the rest here. I understand why you'd be bothered by this. I would be. IMO, it's generally bad form to not invited fiancees or wives/husbands. Obviously there are exceptions if you suddenly get engaged or married very close to a couple's wedding date, but that's not the case with you.

The only thing I can think is that it's a difficult situation if your invite is coming through your parents, meaning your parents are the primary invitees. We had a similar situation where we were considering inviting certain of my OH's aunts and uncles ... but if we did we would have felt compelled to also invite their children and their children's SOs and while we knew some of the cousins, others we really didn't and definitely not their SOs ... so at that point we threw in the towel and didn't invite any of these families, as we couldn't expand the guest list as far as we felt we'd had to otherwise. Perhaps some variation of this is what's going on with the family you know.

Nonetheless, even if you're bothered I'd still take the high road and attend if you want to go -- there's nothing that I see that obliges you to attend. But if you decide to go at least you'll have your family there so it's not as if you won't know anyone.

Since i've been married i've been invited to a wedding on my own. fair enough - the budget was tight. i think if you want to be at their wedding then you should go.

As you know other people that are going, I would definitely go.

We have got budget and number restraints and haven't been able to invite partners to the daytime. I have one friend that won't know anyone else so have allowed her a +1 but this is only because I really want her to attend and know she won't if she's by herself.

All our cousins have partners but they are all under 20 years of age and don't even live together so they haven't been invited. It's tough though as we have actually met one of OH's cousins boyfriends and he's lovely but we can't invite him and none of the others.

What I'm getting at is that it is very difficult to write a guest list and there are so many places that end up getting taken by people's partners when really you'd rather invite another close friend so cut her some slack and be happy that she has invited you :-)

I get why you're bothered, I would be too if we had been together that long. To be honest, if I didn't know anyone else and OH wasn't invited then I probably wouldn't go purely because I dislike being on my own at events like a wedding, some thrive off making new friends and connections but I just don't. However since it sounds like you will havee your family there, I would go and not worry about OH not being invited.

But that's kind of my point - they know my partner AND we're engaged? I suppose I would be less peeved if we weren't engaged (and planning the wedding which they are aware of!). I am inviting all engaged/living together/married couples, even if I don't really know the partner because that was the 'etiquette' I heard I should follow - and which obviously makes sense.. I suppose I understand budget etc restrictions, but I just think it is one of the areas you should try really hard to not compromise on, if at all possible...

I will only know my parents (lovely to spend time with them obviously, but not going to be exactly fun like a normal wedding with just my parents to talk to!!) And obviously the main family will be busy speaking to everyone else, so can't imagine it being too fun ☹️ .. will have to have a think

Yes, but I did say not everyone can do that.

I don't think this is an issue about whether you should be peeved if they've invited your OH or not, I think it's simply a choice of whether you fancy going or not.

I wouldn't make a big deal out of it. Go if you don't mind spending the time with your parents etc. Don't go if you don't think you'll have a good time.

I would probably go - or maybe ask if your fiance can come to the evening do - I asked that once years ago and they were perfectly fine about it, he just stayed in the hotel room during they day and I kept taking him drinks.

Personally I have invited all partners and even given my single friends a plus 1 in case they are attached by the wedding.

Interesting one - may I ask ask - are they asian muslems? as they do have VERY different wedding etiqiette to traditional english weddings as we know them. Having worked with an Indian muslem and having beeen invited to her wedding she explained to me that invites go out to whole families and replies are not expected, meaning that they may have 50 or 500 guests coming and will not know until the day. Another thing to think is that if it is a traditional asian wedding the men and women are in seperate rooms so you would not spend any time with your fiance anyway! I may be wrong and they are having a very traditional english ceremony and reception - in that case they may be trying together the diffferent traditions.

Hmm I would probably go- or ask if I was also allowed to bring OH. I do think it is a bit strange though. For any single guests or those with OH's we don't know we will be allowing them a +1. I thought it was normal wedding etiquette to allow everyone a guest and wouldn't dream of inviting someone on their own!!!

This thread has surprised me though as I genuinely thought you HAD to allow everyone to bring their OH/guest.

I would go if I wanted too. I wouldnt go if I diddnt fancy it.

I certainly wouldnt go if my OH wasnt invited. Screams a bit "joined at the hip" to me. Sorry. Muslim or not.

If you want to go, go.

If you don't want to go, don't go.

If I wanted to go, I would go. If I thought I'd be bored I'd make my apologies and I wouldn't go, or go to the ceremony and leave early. I am probably in the minority but I sometimes like to get out without the OH. We always have a great time together but if I was with people he didn't know I would feel I'd have to entertain him rather then mingle (my OH has hearing problems so isn't a fan of big gatherings as he can't always understand people). He would be fine if I went without him, and would enjoy some time for himself to chill with his friends. It's a personal decision but I wouldn't be insulted if a childhood friend invited me and not OH.

I am not one to turn down wedding invites - I love them

I come from a christian background so am very used to the not married, not invited rule. And I have been to friends weddings where OH wasn't invited for number/not really knowing him reason. Although I always prefer him invited I try not to be insulted by it - its how weddings go. (We sometimes turn him down so if my friends are on there own )

I personally would never ask if I could bring OH.

I don't normally write harsh msgs but I think you are being a little ungrateful. It was nice for them to invite you, especially as you don't see them much and you are just moaning. If you don't feel comfortable going without OH don't go but if they dont know him well I don't think it should bother you as much as it has.

I wouldn't be bothered if OH wasn't invited...I don't think there should be any rules about who "has" to be invited as I believe people should have who they want there and not feel obligated to invite anyone. I also think that couples should be able to cope with spending one day or evening apart! I'm having quite a small wedding, but at my wedding I'm only inviting plus ones for people who literally don't know anyone else going. He may not be invited because they don't really know him, and your parents are invited as well so it's not like you won't know anyone else there.

Ultimately, do you want to go or don't you? That's what it comes down to.

I think you should go and not make a big deal about it. Be grateful that you have an invite, and it's not like you can't have a good time at the wedding without your OH.

From my point of view, we have had a real hard time on our guest list. We have really cut back on many family members and have about 10 friends invited, no partners. We are inviting partners, other friends and family to the evening reception, but our daytime numbers are still quite high. If one of my guests was saying things like you are and getting upset about it - to be honest, I'd be really upset and I think I'd be in tears over it. The 6 friends who I have invited are really close and I've known each of them for over 10 years. If any of them were not considering coming because their partners were not invited, it would be really upsetting for me.

I've been to weddings without my OH. I've wondered before why he may not have been invited, which at the time, yeah I was a bit miffed, but I see exactly why it's such a difficult decision now. At the end of the day, it's really not a big deal. The couple have decided they would like YOU at the wedding and you should be grateful to have been invited.

Just my two cents.

This wouldn't bother me I would just go as they are your friends in fact we doing the same thing by not inviting our friends partners to our wedding, just think if you were on a budget would rather invite 10 good friends to share your day with or only be able to invite 5 and their OH's who you don't really know, i know what i would choose every time.

I would go - OH and I are our own people and don't always come as a joint package. I have to admit, before all this wedding planning malarkey, I might have been a bit miffed at him not being invited, but now the shoe is on the other foot, I see things differently.

WSS.