Post content has been hidden

To unblock this content, please click here

Beginner

siblings WWYD??

Nancy Noodles, 18 March, 2012 at 09:08 Posted on Off Topic Posts 0 2

Saved

Report
Hide content

So the other day i posted because back in january i found out that my brother D ,sister E and i have siblings from my dad before he was with my mum , twin sisters and a brother B , so after months ive been trying to arrange us all meeting up , which hasnt been going to bad , one of the twins made a comment a few days ago that she wouldnt ever be telling her children about us because she didnt want to upset them , which we all thought fair enough , i havent told my boys either but then they wouldnt understand any way ! so we left it and still said we wanted to meet up ! untill this morning i wake up to a text from my mum saying that one of the twins had been talking to my brother D and had said that "if we will meet up it will only ever be once , because we have our lives already" Now i never expected that we would be best buddies or that meeting would be all the time but it feels like we have been written off before weve even met !!! I have my own life but was prepared to except them in to it !!!

On top of that my brother B hasnt even bothered to reply to the invite even though i know he has it !! he avoids any kind of contact but yet it was him that came and found us and said im your brother !!!

so here is the WWYD bit , would u continue with the meet or would you cancel ?? i feel like im in limbo ,i feel like if we do meet i would be resentful that after they wouldnt want to see us again , but if i cancel then we would miss out on meeting our siblings !!!

Can i just add the twins have always known about us and my brother B has known about us for about a year and a half!!

Report
Hide content

2 replies

Latest activity by kittykat9/9, 18 March, 2012 at 12:58

Beginner March 2013
Nutella · 18 March, 2012 at 09:56
Report

Hide content
To answer the WWYD - I'd still go ahead with the meet, otherwise you may wonder about things for the rest of your life. Try and put what they've said to the back of your mind, and go into the meet with a positive attitude, ask all the questions that you want to ask and make the most of it.

Even though your siblings already knew about you, it's still a big thing to meet you, and still a big deal introducing new people into their lives and the lives of their children. It may well just be the nerves speaking and things may take time, but they may turn out differently. Don't put any pressure on them to be instantly like close family, a relationship like that is built over time. Don't let anyone put pressure on you either.

Hope it works out x
- Reply
Beginner August 2012
jen_84 · 18 March, 2012 at 11:18
Report

Hide content
I would still go ahead with the meet too. As Nutella said, it could well be the nerves speaking - it must be huge to find out there is more to your family. Things may change after you meet, or they may not, but just go with an open mind, don't expect too much and see what happens. Good luck.
- Reply

Beginner October 2011
kittykat9/9 · 18 March, 2012 at 12:58
Report

Hide content
WEES go ahead with the meet but lower the expectations. They may have known about you for years but you didn't know about them and I think if you don;t meet you will always be wondering who they are/what they are doing. I don't think you can expect them to be as keen to meet when they've known about the situation but been quite happily carrying on with life without needing to meet but that is their situation and not yours. Go and meet them, they might turn out to be a lot of fun with loads in common and you all become good friends and they want to meet up more often or you might meet and discover all you have in common is your dad, you have different views on everything and are very different people who you decide you don't want to meet up with again or there might be a middle ground that allows you to get together for family birthdays, celebrations, funerals etc but not see each regularly. Until you meet you won't know which option it will be.

Good luck x
- Reply