sickness, parental leave or just go into work?

Not sure if you got my text but will go in to more detail now.

Number of days off sick can be used as criteria when redundancy is being considered. When they did mine they look at which band you fell in to, 0 days off, 1-5 days off, 6-10 days off etc.It is not the only criteria used generally. The way mine did it was to go through about 10 things, give you points for each (i.e. more points for less days off sick) and then total them up.

I don't think it is really a choice of whether you go off sick. I think you need to see the Doc, explain everything that is happening at the moment in terms of your father's cancer, your sister's health, your Nan's hospitalisation and the huge amount of stress your work are putting on you at the moment and let the Doctor know you are generally struggling to cope. Some of the things you have said to me do concern me, particularly that you are not sleeping and the Doctors may be able to help, whether that is with providing someone external to talk to, sleeping tablets - basically whatever they think you need.

I think your boss was trying to be helpful but the reality is you are struggling at the moment and need to see the Doctor and if the Doctor thinks you need time off, then you should listen to the experts.

Big hug

Can't you just book a couple of days annual leave? That's what I'd do. Also your doc will usually only sign a sick cert if you've been off more than a week - a couple of days and you can self cert. Or pay about £8 or something if you do want the doc to write you one - providing he/she will that is.

Oh it does annoy me when employers suggest you 'use' something else when you're poorly. In my eyes, sick is sick and it is unfair that it's being suggested you take it as something else.

You're right, parental leave is not the way to go - you might need this at another time and you would also be dishonest to your employer in the wider scale by taking parental if it isn't parental.

Contrary to someone else's opinion, I wouldn't take my annual leave for time off when I should take sick leave. To me, annual leave is taken to recharge the batteries, take some time away etc, not as an alternative to being off sick. It sounds like you need some time for you and to take stock which to me is sick leave. If you worked for me, I'd be asking 'Do you think you're fit for work at the moment?' - if the answer is No, then you take time off sick.

HTH and hope you feel better soon. Take care.

Thank for the advice. I don't have any A/L left so that was a no go area from the start. I didn't go to the drs in the end it is all too much hassle at the moment i have decided to just keep going to work. I guess it keeps my mind off things,

What a horrible situation cavewoman ?

Is your boss fully aware of what you're going through at the moment?

Does your work have the facility to grant special leave with pay? I've been granted this in the past when my Mum was very ill.

I didn't know she was sick - the bit about thinking about asking to be signed off sick sounded like she wanted time off rather than actually ill, hence my A/L suggestion. I'm lucky to not need to take time off work sick but if I did I guess I thought it would be as simple as ringing in. It sounds like I don't know the background TBH so my suggestions is probably no use at all, sorry.

Sorry Doughnut, I didn't mean to imply you weren't being helpful with the annual leave suggestion. Some people I work with do book holiday as opposed to having sick leave on their records however it's not something I would do or have done.

I'm lucky enough to work for a sympathetic employer too and they are flexible with leave - it's a shame many aren't.

I think sometimes, employers assume you have to be physically sick to take sick leave, whereas often, you can just be 'unfit' for work which could be due to family issues, upset etc...As a manager myself, I always try to be empathic to the needs of my staff as much as I am able to within the company's guidelines.