Silly Bridesmaid Problem

I've heard about people previously advertising for bridesmaids (mainly cute kiddie ones) just so that they had bridesmaids for the pictures etc. maybe that could be an option, unless you are set on having people you know

But as for choosing one over the other, the best advice I had was that this is YOUR day, no one elses so if they dont like your wedding plans its just tough luck, make it about what you want and not what others want!

Hi Silverscent/Nicola and welcome to the site. It seems like you've had a rough trot, and congratulations on having found someone wonderful.

It's a difficult predicament isn't it? Technically speaking, you don't actually need bridesmaids - but if you're really keen to have one, could you explain to the other work friend that you know she gets nervous and you just want her to be able to enjoy your day without being stressed about walking up an aisle etc?

I don't suppose htb's brother has a girlfriend??

Firstly, hi and welcome ?

its not compulsory to have BMs so if there is nobody you really want then there is no sense on just picking somebody because you feel you have to.

If you do want one, for help etc then you could ask one of the girls you've mentioned and say to the other one that due to money restrictions you were only able to have one BM and would loved to have had her as well but unfortunately you've had to restrict yourself???

Hope you manage to sort it out.

that's a nice idea Gillsy but what if she says that she'll pay for her own dress etc to help out!

Welcome to the forum!!

I have a similar dilema. I don't have many girl friends, or many friends in general lol. Im only going to have one bridesmaid and that's my OH's 13 year old Daughter, whose very excited about being a bridesmaid.

Who are you planning to be your witness? It could be that in order to solve the problem (and potentially save money), you could forgoe having any bridesmaids and just have a wtiness, who doesn't need to be in a dress.

The role of the Bridesmaid is to act as a witness. Lots of people these days only have witnesses and therefore you don't need ot put them in a sepcific dress (you could if you wanted to) and also, you can only have one so would solve the problem of not wanting to ask the other...

ha - never thought of that - that would be a problem. Ok, my advice wasn't so good....lol

Hi there and welcome to the wonderful world of hitched-dom!

I'm free for quite a few weekends, I can walk in a straight line and get away with most colours if you get desperate.

If someone obvious doesn't spring to mind, then I'm not sure I'd bother...it's not the law that you have to have a BM...use the money for something big and sparkly for yourself!

x

Just read your post and not sure what to add that other people havent.

Who are you planning on getting ready with in the morning?

I had a similar problem in that I knew I'd end up having my sister and a close ish friend but I felt like I had to have H2B's best man and ushers girlfriend.

Dont get me wrong I talk to them and I wish we were close but we arent.. turns out I made the right choice not adding 2 on since once cant even come to the hen night with 6 months notice and choice of any weekend!!! imagine what it would ahve been like to organise her for dress fittings.

I would therfore say if ther is no-one that springs to me spend the money saved on yourself )

xx

If there is no-one that really springs to mind then I wouldn't bother if I were you - in my mind then one of the main reasons for having bridesmaids is to have people to support you on the day and keep you calm, so you need close friends/ family for this rather than just anyone to make up the numbers.

Could you ask your mum to be a sort of unofficial bridesmaid? She could support you with planning and on the day itself, and could even wlak down the aisle with you if you wanted.

Thanks to everyone for the very helpful responses.

His brother does have a girlfriend who I could consider actually so I'll think about that.

My mum and his mum will be the witnesses so maybe if I can't decide on the bridesmaids they can take the role.

Thanks again to everyone

SS - there's some nice tradition with the mothers where they come down the aisle, with a lighted candle each and then light a bigger one to signfy the union - if you don't want it to be "just you" as you go down, could they go down in front of you and do that - it would be really nice and unusual.

Yes, yes ,yes! What a lovely idea!!! Thank you!

Hi welcome to Hitched!!

You dont actually need any bridesmaids if you dont want, (it would be very cost effective!!) in terms of support, you mum and MIL will be there for you for any dress shopping/wobbles you may have.

If you think you need some then a few of us hitcher would love to wear a pretty frock for a day ?

xxx