Slightly shocked- ex related-- Is this NORMAL??

Well, I suppose it depends on the circs, I mean, why did it shake you?

Did you think he would have told you/invited you? Were you still close? Were you married yourselves? I suppose I would have been a bit well, not shocked, but 'oh', if you know what I mean, then.

But a couple of my previous bfs appear now to be married, and its just a 'oh well' feeling, which probably makes even less sense.

Were you upset?

Do you think you are not over him then? Just since last night or before?

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Thanks for replying. This is the first time I've been able to get to the computer without Mr S being around.

I guess I just proved to myself that I'm not fully over him, because had it been any other ex-boyfriend or crush, I would've just been happy for them. As it stands, I'm devastated. Very selfish thinking, I know.

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Aah, mrs s, i feel for you, its an icky feeling I imagine.

Ive just split up with my OH, and i dread feeling this way, IYSWIM.

I dont wanna move on with my life, gets 5 years down the line, and still be hurt, emotional, etc when I see him or see that hes moved on.

Are you married?

Maybe its just cos he was your first love? Or was it a bad split?

I would imagine it's perfectly normal to be a bit shaken, especially as it sounds like it was a bit of a shock - you didn't know he was getting married I take it? He was important in your life, it doesn't mean you're still in love with him.

I'm not sure it's not totally abnormal. If my ex gets married it will more of a shock (because someone would want to marry him).

It didnt bother me when my 1st husband remarried, people move on i guess.

Hi Mrs S. I saw this yesterday but like you didn't want to post with H hanging around.

I think its perfectly normal to have these kind of feelings about an ex. I do about mine, but then I get confused as I don't have a right to because I ended it with him to be with H.

My ex got engaged a couple of months ago, and I found out by reading the notice in the paper. I did feel strange at first but then I talked myself out of it, afterall he couldn't expect to pine after me for the rest of his life, could he?

My feelings for my ex, are a lot to do with "what if", I guess but at the end of the day I know that I love my H and I wouldn't want to change where we are right now for anything. I'm guessing that its not that you are still in love with your ex, but in love with the idea of what you were.

I know what you mean, as I felt a bit weird when my ex H got married and his wife got pregnant. Not that I'd want him back or anything, but it feels a bit strange to find out 3rd hand that important things are going on his life that you couldn't have imagined not being involved with a few years ago. If that makes any sense at all. I think it's normal.

I think feeling a bit odd about it is normal, but saying you're devastated 7 years down the line when you're married yourself is way OTT, tbh.

What Hole said.

I was looking at friends reunited recently and my ex (I wasn't snooping, we're on the same page ?) he had an update saying he was now engaged. I went through the following; oh my god - eek - so he wouldn't marry me but will marry somone else - good for him - poor girl, I wonder if she knows what she has let herself in for? ? and that was that. Next time I looked, he had removed the engagement notice so who knows if she saw the light or if he made a mistake. Life goes on though, I'm with someone else and that's that. I certainly wouldn't want him living a life on loneliness, crying into his pillow that I'm not married to him!

? all for your honest responses, it's "nice" to hear that there are other people in the same boat as me.

I realise I may come across OTT, but I guess it's just the shock of finding out he'd moved on altogether, and not knowing anything about his life as he has it now. What I have come to realise, though, is the fact that we both lost contact with each other; it was a mutual decision, so I can't sit there and expect that he's still going to care about me.

When I was in therapy on Saturday, the psychologist mentioned a theory which probably is true for me, and which I'm trying to hold on to. When I first started going out with him, I'd pretty much just literally broken up with my previous boyfriend who had been very abusive in every way shape and form. So for there to be a guy who was genuinely nice to me, was something I wasn't used to. She basically said that she thinks that I've put him on a pedestal because of the fact that he was NICE to me, rather than abusive. For all I know, Mr S can be just as nice to me, but I've since had a long time of being singl so I could build myself back up again, and not be so shocked at him being nice to me. Not sure if this is making ANY sense! ?