*small update Pg3* Please help me work out how to do this on a suddenly reduced budget?

Firstly dont panic!!!!!!!!

BM dresses -high street.........someone (charliebird perhaps?) got hers from TEscos so they can be gorg dresses at a snip!

Flowers - for the BMs have wrist corsages...these are working out 20quid less per one for mine!! Yours have a simple small BM sized bouquet

Best man - ask him to buy his own suit (if he wears suits for work etc) if not, hiring them will do the trick. Or i think Mrs Cs best man got a suit from Matalan and he looked dapper!

Stationary - VistaPrint, lots fo great ideas on there and cheap, but really good quality!!

Your dress - pre loved / ebay, some brides here have got absolute GEMS just by looking there!

Does that help?

Not easy as it doesn't sound particularly extravagant and full of unnecessary expenses to start with, rather like our plans. I guess it's a case of figuring out what is "nice to have" and what is essential.

What's the cost of the bacon/sausage sandwiches per person, compared to a simple finger buffet?

Do you have to give 3 drinks per person? Does it work out any cheaper if you buy your own and add corkage?

Do you really need a toastmaster?

Are you having chair covers, and if so do you have to have them?

Would artificial flowers work out cheaper than real ones?

Do you need four bridesmaids or could you get away with two? Would they be happy with a 'high street' dress rather than an expensive one

I'm not saying any of the above are automatically unnecessary but I guess you need to go through in your own minds and figure out whether you really do need any of these things

Thank you We were planning on doing a lot those kind of things anyway so any recommendations from anyone would be useful.

For flowers, I love lavender, I wonder if i bought a few lavender plants i would be able to make my own bouquet with it?

deinatly, tied with some twine or something would look lovley! am sure sherrie has some pics she'll flash ?

Aj I'll answer your question one at a time, that way i won't forget anything!

What's the cost of the bacon/sausage sandwiches per person, compared to a simple finger buffet? bacon butties are £8.95 per person, Buffet is £13.95 per person.

Do you have to give 3 drinks per person? Does it work out any cheaper if you buy your own and add corkage? three drinks is arrival, one at the table and the toast. The drinks aren't especially expensive and would probably actually be more expensive to pay corkage at £9 per bottle then £12 per bottle of good wine. We could probably drop the wine at the table that cuts off £4 per person

Do you really need a toastmaster? Toastmaster is included free of charge, would never pay for one. Its the manager on the day of the wedding at the hotel and they do it as a courtesy.

Are you having chair covers, and if so do you have to have them? the chairs at the venue are not attractive and they recommend you have them. Not sure what we're doing about this yet.

Would artificial flowers work out cheaper than real ones? for what i want, there isn't much in the cost to be honest. I've looked at both and still haven't decided yet. Don't want big and fancy, just something small and simple.

Do you need four bridesmaids or could you get away with two? Would they be happy with a 'high street' dress rather than an expensive one Four bridesmaids, yes. All four are siblings, not really fair to choose two over the other two. Reckon we could get away with high street dresses but they can sometimes be just as expensive!

Lavender is a b*gger to grow - I've tried it and killed more plants than I care to remember. Buying it from a proper grower is probably better

Although P&P probably makes it difficult, we're going here this weekend to pick up our supplies, and I'm more than happy to grab you some lavender bunches and pop them in the post to you at cost, and save the minimum order of £20 too.

Lavender bunches https://www.castlefarmkent.co.uk/detail.php?ProdID=397 200 stems for £3.95 but I'd guess probably one per bouquet; or slightly cheaper and smaller bunches of Lavandin https://www.castlefarmkent.co.uk/detail.php?ProdID=398

Just let me know if it's of any help to you if its not too early ok

Love the idea of a lavendar bouquet - look at these:

Aj Thank you thats very sweet of you, but we still have 14 months to go. Would it not start to drop apart by then?

I can buy lavender plants pretty cheap from our local garden centre cos my middle sister works there and can get be a fabulous discount! If i bought them the week of the wedding and hand tied them the night before, do you reckon that gets around the issue of my not so green growing skills? ?

Thanks for the pictures of the lavender bunches. They're lovely!

14 months probably is a bit far away and I don't know how they'd last that long.

You can buy the plants but the stuff like I flashed is dried - lavender can 'sweat' and stan stuff so you really need it professionally dried - the stuff is kiln dried that I showed you.

Where in the country are you? I'm sure there's a solution nearby. Here's some more thoughts: https://www.shropshirepetals.com/shop/search?q=lavender

We're using the bunches of dried cereals - oat, wheat, barley etc - as our table centrepieces, making them all mixed as it fits our autumnal theme (harvest) but we will certainly be adding lavender to add some smell to it all.

WOWSER! £8.95 for a bacon buttie! I thought mine were a bit cheeky charging £4.50 per person for this!!!

To me this seems very expensive I would question this!

I hope you find ways to work it all out, some good ideas here.

Can you maybe ask the bridesmaids to contribute a bit to the bm dresses? I did and they didnt mind a bit..

I can second Vistaprint for invitations etc - very reasonable

Maybe if you bought your BM dresses they would agree to buy shoes and accessories?

Loving the lavender bouquet idea, agree it is way too easy to over water the damn stuff and kill it but buying it a week early is a good idea. Not even I would be able to kill it in a week!

Ebay - full of bargains, I've saved loads by buying stuff from here

Oh and preloved is def worth a look, got my dress from there after seeing it in a bridal shop and paid a quarter of the price!

AJ yeh, i think 14 months is just a tiny bit too long. Would probably prefer fresh but does that sweat too? I am complete numpty when it comes to flowers/plants etc (you'd never know i used to work in the garden centre too!) We're in Coventry but getting married near Preston.

bls14 Its the cheapest option on their menu. The bbq is £26 per head too for burger, sausage, chicken and salmon with salad, potatoes and desert. Am questioning that price too so when we visit them next saturday am going to ask if theres anyway they would reduce the costs for us. Still the cheapest we've found by far unfortunately

The other way to keep the costs down is to be quite strict on the numbers for the main food - maybe invite most people to the evening rather than all day .. although I know this is difficult.

Can you get married slightly later and have just one lot of food rather than feeding people twice?

As you are in coventry it is also worth having a look here for dresses - will help keep the cost down compared to full price places https://www.wed2b.com/

Alocin: I wish we could reduce guest numbers or invite most to the evening but the 80 people is 90% very close and immediate family i.e. parents, grandparents, siblings, aunts uncles and cousins. The rest is closest friends. Massive families are not always a good thing! Getting married later is an option, so have an evening ceremony and only a bbq in the evening instead. i can add that to my list of questions to ask the venue definitely.

Toniwise: the cost of this venue doesn't change if its weekday or weekend, as you're only paying for catering. I suppose you could ask them to reduce the cost of the catering if you book in the week, but then people are less likely to come. We've looked at almost every wedding venue in the area and just not seen anything cheaper or that we like as much.

I'm also not good at standing up in front of a lot of people so suggested a smallish wedding with very close family and closest of close friends and do a party elsewhere at a later date. But then my tantrummy inner bridezilla kicks in and says i want the pretty venue and the full wedding day experience (and how i hate that inner bridezilla! she's really very annoying you know)

I see youa re in Lincoln- very close to me. Which venue have you chosen?

I have found that with photographers and other suppliers if you ask for a discount for midweek or off peak then they usually give it so although your venue might be the same price any day you can save in other areas.

Snowberry, my location needs updating We actually live in coventry now and are getting married in Preston. Getting married in Lincoln would be fantastic but D's grandparents won't travel that far and he really wants them there.

I second the idea of skipping the bacon butties buy going for a later meal. If you do have to have them, our venue said to cater for 70-80% of guests which will save you a little bit. If you feel the need to feed them, could you get the master bakers in the family to each contribute a cake that can be cut up for evening guests (this is my job for the MIL and stops her interfering with my wedding cake!!). A friend also went to a wedding where guests were asked to bring a dessert in lieu of pudding and there was a dessert buffet which she said went down a storm and got everyone getting really creative (and everso slightly competitive I think) with what they would take with them. This may help feed your guests more without having to do an evening feed.

If you want really cheap flowers and are happy to 'busk it', florists and regular shops that sell flowers sometimes sell off flowers that are not looking 100% at a reduced rate - if they are for the next day, removing the outer petals should be enough to get them looking pretty enough for the photos (I'm sure there are some flowers this is not possible for but hopefully you get the idea).

Def ask BM's to buy their own shoes etc. If they're all sisters then they obviously understand the family situation and will appreciate how tight money needs to be. You could also give them a colour theme and let them choose their own dresses that they would be happy to wear again - I would begrudge paying for a dress that I would never wear again but would happily fork out the same sum (as a costly BM dress) if it was a killer dress that I knew I would wear to other occasions.

Just my random ideas as I rush to leave the office

xx

By the sound of it, the price does seem a bit much for the amount of people and what your having! - we are paying a similar for 60 at the day and 300 at the night (max night time I dont think we even no this many people but is price we budgeted to be on safe side but if less come to night more can come to day) canapes, 3 course sit down meal, welcome drink, 1/2 bottle of wine per person and toast drink! Hot sandwiches and wedges for the evening (includes all room hire).

I would suggest same as others about flowers, etc. My mam told me yesterday that matalan have some really nice wedding suits and cravats etc and that they are very reasonably priced.

I am sure you will sort it out and im getting some stuff of ebay like my stationary etc to cut costs and you can pick up some great bargains getting bm dresses in high street shops or asking girls to get their own shoes etc.

On a slightly cheeky note depending on your size and style you want I have a brand new dress for sale on pre-loved I have changed my wedding colours and style and it just doesnt go still has all the tags etc - if you interest or want any more details just contact me!

This is really confusing about the venue now. Some of you are saying good deal, some of you are saying way over priced. What can we do to reduce the cost of the venue then? All the others we've seen in the area have been at least £1000-£4000 more expensive. I know we could book a village hall for so much less and just do a finger buffet but i really just want the venue to be nice and i can't imagine how having it in a village hall with a finger buffet would be any different to an 18th birthday party? We haven't booked it yet, but i've been looking at venues for the best part of two years and am running out of ideas

Some other ideas i've had: i'm skipping the save the dates, people have managed without them for years so we can now. I'm not doing favours, people only leave them behind. I'm cutting the canapes and also probably going to cut at least one set of drinks. That will take a chunk off the budget. invitations, i'll be doing those myself for definite. Flowers, i'm going to find a way to do those myself. Decorations i wanted: It was already coming in pretty cheap but i'm going to think about cutting some of them out now even though that makes me sad.

It depends where you live to the costs so with you living further down the county it will be more expensive!

I think the fact that you get the candles and lanterns included is good - if everywhere else is more expensive and you like the venue just keep it and drop what you have said!

Can you not both do a bit of overtime or save a bit more each month?

It will work out dont panic x

I am with you here, I have 4 siblings. And OH wanted his sister as one, and my best friend. So I know how tricky it is, but all of mine are choosing and buying their own outfits. They arent having their hair done or getting there make up done. I dont understand why everyone thinks they are entitled to this (just my opinion!). Is that an option?

Have you definitely chosen that venue?

Ways I am saving money -

My dress isnt a Wedding dress - cost £91!

We are having fish and chips as our meal

Cake - Mum is making

Flowers - We arent having real ones. The only flowers we are having are ones my Mum is growing to go in jam jars on the table.

Car - We are having a taxi

Try and find friends and family that can do things for you.

Hope this helps

Bx

As similar or different as you want it to be!

I'm sure Sherrie or one of the other HIBS that does venue decorating could show you some "before and after" pictures of village halls and the amazing transformations that have been done, and if you can save a few thousand on the costs of your venue/food combo (£716 for bacon rolls or sausage sandwiches at £8.95 for 80 people, for example) when it's all added up you might find that paying someone to beautify your hall costs less than your other venue did to start with. Failing that, a 'village fete' theme is quite popular, and you can do a lot with some bunting etc.

Ok, getting your own drinks might be a hassle but you can probably buy twice as much booze for half the price. Plenty of places do glass hire, and you might find a local pub willing to run a bar for you for the evening.

Thankfully you have lots of time - so lots of options to investigate

Out of interest which venue in Preston are you getting married at? I work in Preston, live in Bolton,

x

I really empathise with your position and sounds like you're approaching it in a very thoughtful way. I think this area is a very personal thing to each of us- what is important to us and what isn't. At the end of the day, we could all get married by going down to the reistrary office, all the rest is added luxuries. So for example, the venue isn't important and therefore would like to pay less for it by, say, having it at a village hall. Some are not fussed by food or alcohol and therefore will provide less or none at all. We can save money on every aspect of our budget but it's whether we want to.

So for me, venue, food and drink were very important and we're probably spending relatively an awful lot on these aspects. However, I'm not interested in flowers, favours, table decorations, cake etc and therefore, we're not having most of these things at all hence, saving quite a lot of money.

I guess it's sitting down with your partner and prioritising what you want and what you're not bothered about. So if you want the venue, what has to go- and I think only you and your partner can do that.

On the venue I would definetly try and speak to them about price if you have someone who is comfortable with negotiating. my FIL spoke with ours and we got quite a bit off of the price. It certainly made a difference for us.

xx

Things we have done/are doing that may help.

Clothes - High street BM dress that I am buying - may be able to use some money off discount thing depending on where we get it from. My BM is sorting her own shoes etc. She will probably wear shoes she has already, I don't expect her to get new ones. Best man is wearing a dark suit he already has and we're supplying the tie. No suit hire for anyone. OH is buying a suit as he needs one and it'll get worn again. My dress was 40% off in the sale. veil - borrowed one from a friend and bought another for £3 from e-bay so still deciding what to wear. Tiara is also borrowed.

Flowers - I made my own bouquet and will make the BM bouquet and all the button holes - these have cost nothing. I also made (with help from mum and nana) all my centre pieces and other decorations. Spent a little bit on fabric but all the rest of the bits and pieces (fabric, beads, wire, buttons, bit jewellery etc) are things I already had or were donated by friends and family. (it depends how crafty you are as to what you have though!)

Stationary - My brother designed our invites for us and I printed them at work - approx a £1 an invite including envelopes and stamps. We'll do the same for all the other stationary. Post box ia box which used to hold a ream of paper that I got from work and I'll cover in pretty paper and add homemade label. I'll make a seating plan.

Church service - I and family have been collecting petal from our garden which we are drying and that is our confetti. free and bio-degradable. No flowers in church - it's pretty enough. No bells - they were extra.

Venue - we struggled to save on this as the venue was good value for the area anyhow, but the venue is what we want and the staff are really nice and have tried hard to do what we want and we're pretty much doing exactly what we want with food decorations etc.So its worth the money. Buffet in evening we are only catering for 80% guests, so you perhaps need to work out if it's cheeper to buy a bacon buttie for all your guests or a buffet for 80%.

Rings - OH got his from goldsmiths using tesco vouchers - £600 saved! and a free ring. My ring is OH's grandmother's ring which his mum very kindly offered me and thats just needed shaping and resizing.

Lastly - I was amazed at what we could save when we set our mind to it. OH started taking packed lunch to work. I didn't buy clothes for a year. We didn't eat out so much and had free days out such as walks, free galleries rather than paying. We didn't go away so much at weekends. No more coffee and cakes! It wasn't hard as it's only been for the last year and will be worth it in less than two months!

Hope that helps.

Gosh lots to reply to so sorry if i miss something or someone out.

Anne its Bartle Hall hotel.

We've had a chat. D doesn't really want to push it back but we're still considering it. We're thinking about other venues too, ways to reduce the cost. We've also thought about having a small wedding but that excludes a lot of close family and we don't want to do that.

We've had a brief chat about village/community hall and we just can't visualise it. We've been to birthday parties etc at the couple of big ones in our area and they're just like local working clubs or tiny run down church halls. Not nice places to be honest and i doubt even the most talented venue decorator could do much with them.

I'd love to just get hitched and spend the day doing what we want, like someone i know who is doing exactly this, but D is totally against this idea. It appeals to my 'hate being centre of attention' side. But i do want to have the big party afterwards. So many ideas and thoughts buzzing round my head that i don't know what to think!

The single biggest expense is often the wedding breakfast so if you could find a venue that didn't insist that you have one, or could do something cheaper (maybe a hog roast or something?) that would help.

The other thought which I don't think anyone else has mentioned is the possibility that your parents issues may be solved in a month or so and everything returns to normal?

Finding the venue is the issue though. I don't know where to look anymore. we've googled weding venues, village halls etc. We've found a beautiful village hall but its an hour away from our church and i don't know where the nearest civil wedding venue is to that to have the ceremony.

Sorry to hear about the family issues - now I understand what you mean by it's not going to be solved overnight.

Your registry office should be able to give you a list of licensed venues in your area - have you looked on their website for a list?

Hey there totally doable...

i got engaged in feb my wedding is in august.. my budget was 5000 and so far everything has cost around 4600.

dont ask me how we managed it but its all done and paid for , i work two jobs but not highly paid and OH only works 16 hours a week at the mo due to his store cutting hours =[.

so in the time frame you have and with your mums help its very doable...the girls have already offered some great help xx

Ah AJ don't worry about the family stuff. I'm over it. I know its selfish but i'm more worried about my wedding! although obviously worried for my mum too. Had a look on the registrars website and had a look at the venues.

kiiradee, thanks. i'm sure we can do it no problem its just yesterday i immediately panicked. We can't afford to save a lot up so being faced with doing almost everything for under £3000 i hit panic mode!

Anyways, when D got home last night we had a good long chat about it and we've come up with three options:

1. See if the venue will allow us to have late afternoon/evening only reception. For us to have arrival drinks and canapes and then BBQ in the evening it would cost £2717. That cuts out unnecessary drinks and the expensive bacon sandwiches. We don't know if they'll let us do it though, because they'd be missing out on a lot of money catering-wise and we think they'd charge us a venue hire fee. We're going to also try to save in other areas with dress, suits etc Shortfall we'd need to save up then would be around £1500 to cover everything else after the catering. If we compromise and sacrifice (i.e D gives up his game buying habit) then we should be able to manage. Very dependent on the venue though.

2. Smaller wedding with the 33 most essential people. Not yet sure how we'd make this one work though. We don't mind small, but D isn't keen on sit down dinner. We thought about sit down dinner for the small group and then at a later date individual family parties (just because all our cousins live at opposite sides of the country)

3. Move it all back a year, give ourselves more time to save up and that way we don't have to compromise on what we want.

Lots to think about still. thank you all for your suggestions. We're going to see the venue a week on saturday and decide after that.