So, age gaps

There are only 3 years between us, but I have had relations with men much much older, but never considered them as actual relationship material. But I think if you are happy it doesnt really matter. There was 11 years between my nan and grandad on both sides and my sisters OH is about 10 years older than her.

Only 7 years between H and I but I have previously dated men that were 10 years + older than me (one was 18 years older). The relationships all came to a natural end, none were serious.

I have a friend whose OH is 15 years older than her, they got together when she was 17. Everyone was dubious at first but they've now been together for 13 years and have two lovely children.

Everyone's different ?

There was 18 years between me and my first husband and there's 13 years between me and my OH now. The breakdown of my first marriage had nothing to do with the age gap and I'd love my OH now regardless of how old he was. For me it's always just been a number.

Thanks for the replies, it's good to hear that people obviously do it with no obvious issues in their day to day life.

I'm going on a date with a man 15 years older than me next week. His age really doesn't bother me, I was just wondering how others dealt with it.

I know a 23 year old girl who is going out with a man of 52. They seem quite happy but I think I'd struggle with that sort of ag gap.

I've had girlfriends who were 17, 14 and 8 years older than me, though the gap between me and JK is just sixteen months (she's older). And I'm not sure whether I'd have married and started a family with any of the others - but that was never an issue: they were terrific relationships at the time (all the rumours about older women are entirely true... ?).

And one of my closest friends is 14 years younger than me, so I'm really not especially bothered by age gaps in general.

My mate's H is 13 years older and they always seem very happy.

I think that kind of age gap only probably shows significantly when you are both very young or very old, IYSWIM.

I dated a guy who was nearer my father's age than mine for a while - the age thing was only an issue when he admitted he'd been a DJ on Radio Caroline ?

My H is 17 years older than me. Been together 10 years (although we've known each other 24 years!!) Age gap has never caused us any problems - i'm 40 & H is 57 & we have a 17 month old son & I have 2 step daughters of 24 & 26! All works very well for us!

Mr Mf is 17 years older than me, I am 29.

He annoys me sometimes when he acts/ behaves like an old fart, and moans about 'getting old', but I figure whatever age he was he's going to annoy me, as I get annoyed easily and he is annoying me.

I got a bit upset a couple of weeks ago when we were talking about pensions and he mentioned possibly not being around, and I just didn't want to think about it, though I know one day we need to make sure we are prepared for all possibilities, however, I think this would be the case whatever our ages.

He is a wonderful father to our one year old and we hope to have another child too, he works hard, and loves me lots, there is nothing more I could ask for.

Go for it, age really doesn't matter, if you love each other (I know it is early days)

My H is 10 years older than me. Previously, I had relationships with men close to my age, or younger. Obviously, the main attraction between my H and I was psychological, but I have to be honest and say that if he had looked/acted like many men of his age, I wouldn't have been interested .

Zebra, you've touched on what I've been thinking about, my parents are 40 & 43, so he is obviously closer to them in age than me, like I said, I'm not overly fussed about his age as such, it's just got me thinking....hmmm, maybe I am thinking too much about it. We've not been on a proper date yet although we do get on when we've seen each other, talked on phone and obviously there is a phsyical attraction and I didn't believe him at first about his age as he does look younger(early 30s) he has never been married, no children and has always been career focused which isn't a bad thing.

Mr JK, I remember my 20 year old brother saying a similiar thing about an encounter with an older woman who was 42, my Mum was not impressed.

Monkey Fingers....I guess things like that are hard but like you said, you'd have all of those things to worry about whatever age he was

DDW...I was hoping you'd reply as I remember reading a while back that your H was older than you.

Thanks to everyone else who replied.

My husband is 12 years older than me, evidently it works for us!

Mr Tart is 13 years older than me. We've been together 9 years and married for nearly 3. Age means nothing to us. We have friends of all ages from 20 to 60 and socialise with them all.

I've always gone for older men. It's not a father figure thing for me as some people have suggested. My dad was never with my mum but has always been in my life.

I'm 13 years older than mr FC.

Works ok and we've lasted 8 years so far (much to the dismay of the cynics!)?

Mr Nora is 19 years older than me. It has never been an issue for us at all. The way I've always looked at is like this........I'm happy, he is happy. We're good together and we want to spend our life together. I'm all too aware that I could be on my own when I'm a pensioner but I'd rather have had 40+ damn good years with him, than have missed out on a truely wonderful relationship.

I never looked for an age gap relationship but I have realised that I've never, ever been out with anyone my own age. Even at age 15, I was a dating someone almost 20. At 17 I went out with a 25 year old and so it went on.

I hate that phrase. It actually makes me feel a bit sick. I love my dad to bits but he is the total opposite of my husband.

I just have a 7 year gap between Oh & me My best friendhas a 22 year age gap. Shes 31 & hes 53 in Jan. It works fab for them, most of the time.

My best friend is living with a man 17 years older than her; she's 36 he's [does furious maths] 53. It seems to work really well, although she's now a step-grandma which is very odd as she's still wondering whether she'll want her own children. I don't think it'll happen with this chap as he's got a family.

I had relationships with that kind of age difference, and both times it became an issue, oddly because I wanted to grow up and they didn't IYSWIM. I think having a girlfriend of 21 really appealed to one of them, as it *proved* he was still young, although I quickly got bored of him acting like the oldest rocker in town. I'm now the age he was then, give or take, and I'd be ashamed of myself to be behaving the way he did at 36 ?

Mr Layabout is about a year older than me, and it works really well as we have the same cultural references from our childhood, teenage etc.

10.5 years between me and BostonBoy (he's older).

We met when I was 29 and he was 40, 5 years ago. The only time we notice the difference is in our musical tastes. He is more Paul Simon, Dire Straits, I am more 80s hair bands / early 90's pop.?

We get on with each others friends extremely well, and I have never felt such an intellectual and physical connection to anyone else in my entire life. Before him, I generally had boyfriends 3-5 years older, although did have one 5 years younger once (never again!)

I think its down to mental compatibility rather than age.

I have just been reading this thread. Im a bit of the opposite to most situations that have been mentioned.

I am seeing a guy 10 years younger than me. Nothing serious. But we get on so well, much better than some my age,

so i think it is totally down to the person. f uck the age. lol

There is a 5 year age gap between me and H, I'm older. My H's youngest brother is 27 and his wife is 53, they have been together for 7 years and married for 3. It works for them and they are both very happy in their relationship.

I think sod the age gap, go on the date, enjoy yourself and worry about what the 'issues' may be when you decide if you want it to be serious. There are enough obstacles in the way when trying to find a partner, don't let age put you off an otherwise nice guy. Enjoy yourself, you've put up with enough cr@p of late ?

My sister's H is 13 or 14 years older than her (can't remember which), although you'd never think it to look at him. I don't think people even realise and the only comprimise they've ever had to make is her having children a bit earlier than she'd really thought about so he wasn't too old (in his opinion) as they grew up - but I guess at first date stage you don't have to be worrying about that!

I have a toyboy, 7 years younger than me, age has never been an issue though

good luck on your date!

My H is 2 years younger than me so not much of a gap at the time we met (at 20 and 22) but I think it would have had more of an effect had we both been 2 or 3 years younger when we met. My nan and grandad had 10 years gap (grandad was 10 years older) and my grandad died 3 years before they could celebrate their 50th wedding anniversary. I have several friends who have relationships with older men or women and they are all very happy.

I really don't think you can look at the age, I think you just need to judge the person.

Hope you enjoy your date.

One of my friends is 26 and dating someone who is 40, they get along well and are happy. My boss is 58 and his wife is 37 ish i think, they are also happy.

H is only a year older than me but sometimes he acts much older [sensible git icon] ?

I'm 30 and my husband is 44. We have been married for five years (tomorrow actually!). He'd never been married or had kids before he met me and he looks a lot younger than he is.

We now have a four year old son and hope to have another baby in the future.

We are total opposites in almost every respect - we don't like the same music or films, we have different ideas about what makes a good night out and i'm totally laid back and Mr CW is not!!

However, it works fantastically, we are stupidly happy and our marriage is almost perfect!

Age really is a state of mind.

Go for it - you'll never know if you don't try - you might make the perfect couple!!

There are 10 years and 10 days between us (H is older) and it works just fine. We both want the same things out of life etc. My brothers are similar in age to my H so they get on like a house on fire.

The only time when it is odd is when we go out with my best mate and her fella. He is 8 years younger than her so there is an 18 year age gap between her boyfriend and my H and although they get on well, the age difference is more apparent there.

H is 11 years older than me and it doesn't cause us any problems. We've been together since I was 17 and I think some people did raise eyebrows at the beginning, but almost 8 years later we're still happy and nobody even notices any more.

The only thing I would echo is thinking about the long term future... retirement, pensions, me being on my own at some point. It's certainly not something that would make me change anything, but it will create some challenges.

Again thanks for the replies and it's nice to know as well that it is more common than I thought it was. The father figure type comments would annoy me, my Dad hasn't been around much since I was 8 and we are only now trying to re build our relationship, however I've never sought out men to be a father figure type person.

I am really looking forward to it, as is he and he has asked on a couple of times if I am actually ok with his age, which like I've said I am. He's already said he's not after casual sex, messing around, mind games etc but then again,he said I may think he is a "*** jockey" (direct quote from him)

There was 15 years between me and my ex, I met him at 19 and he 34 and tbh, no matter how much I said age didn't matter, in the end it did. I know it works for so many, including one of my dearest friends but it wasn't for me.