so utterly fed up. feel like calling it all off. need support : (

I am so sorry to hear that your guests are spoiling the fun of planning for you. Is there anything at all you are looking forward to that you can focus on?

- ive also had zero interest or support for my hen do. Ive had to practically force my moh (my sister number1) to come to a spa with me and arrange it all myself as she cant be bothered to. My other sisters and mom arent interested. Ive been guilt tripped into organising a hen meal - something else my moh should be doing but couldnt be bothered so ive had to do that aswell.

its so hurtful that my family are either unsupportive or indifferent or just mean and obstructive. It is hurtful and embarrassing. My dad was vile about wearing a suit with tails (my oh wears a suit everyday for work so chose tails to make it feel more special)

Nothing like a wedding to bring out the worst in people.

Ive tried ignoring it, after spending months and months bashing my head against a brick wall trying to appease everyone at mine and my oh own expense.

really really had enough..

Hello, I'm so sorry about your situation. I don't have much advice to offer I'm afraid but I didn't want to read and not post.

your family sound like an absolute nightmare in fairness. The question is - do you really want to marry your OH? If the answer is yes then I would have the day exactly how you want eg if you want to run off somewhere and do it just the two of you, then do it! Weddings do get cancelled and if it's really not the day you wanted, why go through with it? You will only dread it as it gets closer and look back with regrets.

Hi im sorry for how you are feeling don't know what to say really ,just seen your flash below and it all looks fab you have done a great job.

OH: could you just be feeling to nerves kicking in with the added stress(family issues ) and see his non productive attitude being nerves type of thing, some men are like that last minuet and they then get things done . if you do love him, do it don't let your family spoil or drag you down .

On a brighter note if your family are that vile the bad mood and negativity will be lifted as of 7.30pm and you can relax and enjoy the rest of your day?

This makes me so sad to read. I don't understand why other people think it's acceptable to ruin not only someone's day but the lead up to it as well. Planning a wedding is stressful enough without people making it harder for you. It's even worse when it's your own family being so horrendous.

If you really want to be with your OH then I agree with some of the above comments, cancel the wedding you don't want and have the wedding you do want on that beach. Why have people there that have no interest in your happiness? It should be about becoming husband and wife anyway so if that's what is most important to you then do it your way. By the sounds of it your families will create drama no matter what, so why not have the wedding you want without them stress free and let them moan about it after?

Sounds awful.

I agree with the others, if I was in yours shoes I'd cancel and elope! wedding and honeymoon in one go! why spend all this money on people who've done nothing but moan.

I am so sorry you are feeling like this. I have read (and posted on) some of your threads recently and it hoped you were feeling better about things.

In one of your threads you mentioned about just wanting to be married to your OH and forgoing the whole "wedding" thing. So why don't you? Firstly I think you need to find the strength to talk to your OH and get to the bottom of his disinterest - is the stress of the wedding and (awful) family problems getting to him or is there something more going on? Once you know where you stand with him, it'll be a whole lot easier sorting everything else out.

if my family were like yours, I wouldn't be letting any of them near my wedding, be it the planning or the day itself. I think (from what you've said) are bringing you down and making things miserable for you. That's why I honestly feel that by eloping, you would not only get the wedding day you really wanted but also standing up to your family and not letting them bring you down anymore. only you know what's best but you need to know that this is a toxic situation to be in and it will impact the rest of your life if you allow it to. Good luck, be strong. x

Reading this made me so sad for you - I am so sorry! To be honest I doubt they will only stay till 7.30. But even if they do I am sure you will be having a wonderful time so sod them ! In regard to a weekday wedding I am having one on a Wednesday - if people 'don't agree' they should of forked out the difference so we could afford a Saturday !

if you did run away on hols and get married would you have any. Regrets? It sounds as if your family are being so unsupportive and it makes me actually quite angry reading it! How selfish! Financially is going abroad a viable option!

Chin up beautiful it will all be ok xx

The day is about the two of you making vows to each other.

You are getting married and inviting people to your party to celebrate. Your happiness on your wedding day will not be dependent on whether everyone stays until the end. Honestly it really won't.

Of more concern are the arguments with your OH over the wedding planning. Talk to him when you are both calm and explain how stressed you are about the whole thing. It is likely that he isn't on board with the amount of worrying you are doing and isn't putting things like printing out contracts at the top of his list, especially when he's at work.

This will pass, I promise. Just don't let the family arguments colour your perception of the process: they are just guests like everyone else. Yes, they do have special roles on the day, but in the grand scheme of things their attendance or not is not within your control so don't allow it to upset you. Easier said than done I know.

Have a hug (rare on hitched). You are going to have a lovely wedding marrying the man of your dreams and all will be well: that is the end result and all that really matters x

Thanks guys,

everything is paid for so if we canxel we lose the lot : ( cant afford a honeymoon now let alone eloping abroad.

This is not how I envisaged this at all. My planning was mostly ruined by my oh family and one of my sisters, and im anxious about the day itself because my famkly is so volitile. My oh was so adamant abojt having a traditional wedding and I hoped my family would go along with it and for once in their lives make an effort.

My dad is now wearing the suit with tails - but had a huge tantrum first which has left a sour taste...he is nice one minute then a nightmare the next which is why i dont see a lot of him

friends say that it will be fine on the day but its irrelevant as every aspect has already been marred. My mom didnt come and look at dresses - I had to txt her picx as she didn't want to come to the shops with me.

its just been sh!t really. To top it off, only 1 sister (my useless moh) is coming to my hen meal now. Everyone knows I have a big family and im sick of having to explain why they are not coming to stuff / making no effort. I see people's faces eith looks of pity and I feel humiliated and embarrassed.

My oh is alright really, but his lack of input just reinforces the lack of effort from everyone else. I feel miserable about it all some days. I see people on here distraught over ruined plans amounting to 1 person being a d!ck and of course I reflect on my own situation and it magnifies just how awful things have been and continue to be.

I want to marry my oh but am under no illusion that my day will be stressful and could be spoilt by a volitile family member , or cancelled if my oh dad has yet another of his frequest hospital spells.

wish id never wanted to get married now.

Oh bless you what a difficult situation I'm so sorry. I just wanted to repeat what everyone else has said really and say its not too late to change your plans and get married just you and your other half if that's what you really want and if its financially viable. If its not possible try and focus on all the positive aspects of your day. On the day your family may end up choosing to stay later if its not to far to travel. And if they dont you will still have a fabulous time with the people that are there celebrating with you both. I really hope it all gets better for you xx

Oh goodness, I feel for you. If my family were that awkward (they have their moments but not as bad) I would just hop a plane a bugger the lot of them. We still have 18 months to plan and so far Nathy has only been interested in the wedding playlist and the food haha. But he has always been like that,

I often hear men say how weddings are just what a women wants, well more often than not most women have organised the entire thing with little to no input from h2b. Just take a step back and remind yourself, how much you love your partner and also that you are getting married because you love each other. Not to make other people happy. Hold your head high or just prop it on your boobs if you have to, but please ignore all the negativity. I hope everything works out super. X

The important part, is the vows, the rest doesn't matter.

Who cares if your family leave at 7.30, they would have been there for the important bit. Don't let them ruin your day.

Thanks everyone, feeling a bit less cr@ppy now x x x

I am so sorry your amazing day and the lead up is being ruined by family! It sounds like you would want to leave this wedding and go away but can't because of money (which is a fair point) if this is the case you need to go hard or go home. Sit your H2B down and say enough is enough he helps out or it's off (scare him a bit haha) and say how you are excited to marry him but the day itself doesn't excite you and you want that to change, he will soon understand how upset it is making you and I am sure he will try and pull his weight - just remember no matter how much we love them, men are sometimes a little rubbish at this stuff and need it spelling out to them. As for your family, I would stop giving them the time of day when it comes to the wedding, let them lave at 7:30 it sounds like you don't really want them there too much anyway. As for your sisters not coming to your hen, let's be honest they'd only bloody moan anyway. Go out, have fun - with people who you actually like and DO NOT exlain why your family aren't there, if people ask just say they had other plans. No one will go into it as they won't want to dwell on a sore subject.

I hope it makes a huge turn around and you have an amazing day! Families ay who'd av em x

So sorry to hear you're going through this!

If you can't cancel everything, see if you can try and focus on the positives of your day - getting to marry your partner and being surrounded by friends

I hope it works out x

Hello, I just wanted to say that I really feel for you, and think it's such a shame that you have had to be so strong and do all of this yourself with minimal support. This is in no way comparable but my OH reacted in exactly the same way when we were completing the registrar's ceremony form. He literally put his hoodie hood up, drew the strings tight and grunted at me as I read out readings to him. I was livid as for me that's the important part but be just said he 'wasn't good' at that stuff and felt like be was in an English class. I think with him it was stress and pressure to come up with the 'right' answer for me. He has been fine with everything else!

When you say everything is paid for what could you still use/sell/salvage if you really did want to go away just the two of you? Or, could you just uninvite everyone you don't want there and have an intimate do at your existing venue? If necessary you could just tell everyone it's called off but go ahead in secret! Just a thought. Whatever you decide I hope it all turns out for the best and you have a lovely wedding day x