Some advice needed concerning friend.

Difficult one.

Certainly sounds like she has a problem if she's drinking at 9:30 in morning. To me that would indicate that she doesn't feel like she can function without a drink.

If you're going to ask her about it and offer support, I would raise the issue in the morning. It would be easier for her to fob you off with excuses in the afternoon / evening. Not so easy at 9:30 in the morning.

It could be that she is secretly waiting and hoping for someone to raise it with her.

Do you know her husband at all?

I asked my h2b as he is a drugs and alcohol counsellor and his advice is short and simple. Talk to her about your concerns and then leave it with her with the knowledge you are there to support her (if that is what you want to do). You can't force her to admit anything and if you did try to back her into a corner she may well then try to hide her drinking.

Also if you are really concerned about her child then either talk to her husband or phone social services. I know that seems very harsh but if your concerns are keeping you awake at night then you need to either do something or let the situation be.

I hope you are able to help Sarah and it sounds like she does need a friend but at the same time if your feeling tired of her dramas you also need to think about yourself.

Hm, I'd run for the hills tbh. Too much drama.

WPGS. With emphasis on the social services bit. If you feel you know enough of the full story, have offered support etc. and truly believe she has a problem which impacts on her child, then you will be helping the child and maybe giving her the way in to the professional support she might need.

Although - you must be confident in what you are doing and what you know.

WNS.

Thanks for the advice everyone, I do indeed feel like running for the hills at times as my brain hurts with the guilt of everything I am not doing and should...

I don't know her husband very well at all. I've met him a handful of times as he works such long hours and he has to entertain clients in the evening (so he says). Her child seems well, he does look quite scruffy at times but she plays with him and doesn't lose her temper with him but she seems desperate for him to nap as long as possible and get him off to nursery, I suppose so she can drink in peace.

I have 2 children of my own so feel I can't walk away from this child without helping but I will try the talking to her first in the morning then move onto other things if it seems she doesn't care..

Anyone got a magic wand?

No but she is doing lessons which made me quite concerned... she wanted me to go and stay at her in laws and she said she was going to try and pass her test before then so we would have access to a car so I put that trip off straight away..

If only there was a magic wand eh and then this evil illness wouldn't take hold of so many people.

Whilst drinking at 9am in the morning isn't good it may be that she only has a couple to get through the day and if she is used to drinking a lot then a couple probably won't affect her that much so it may not be the case that she is drunk all day whilst with her child. Hardly ideal but worth keeping in mind if only to settle yourself.

Good luck in the morning.

Tbh i'd probably be quite blunt with her - next time you're on your own with her early on i'd catch her at the kitchen table and say "it's 9am and you're on the bottle. you know it and i know it so we might as well just say it." i think i'd have to come right out with it, because it's too easy to brush off if you edge around the subject. try to make sure she knows you don't look down on her for it, and that you'll help her.

or as others have said, just hide - but i'd probably try to speak to her. no point doing the whole 'elephant in the room' business.