Sorry for the long rant... :(

We have seriously struggled with our guest list as I worry so much about what other people think. I too have lots of aunties and uncles as does my partner and they mostly live away. Our problem they all have children (our cousins) who then some of which have children......see where I am going.......it's never ending. In the end we have decided to invite all aunties and uncles as traditionally (so my mum tells me) a wedding would involve aunties and uncles. We have then chosen some cousind who we are close too and all the others have been invited to the evening. I have stresed and stressed over the list, my OH doesn't get as emotionally invloved as I do!! All in all we have 70 for the day, hoping for 65 actual guests and the maximum for our venue of 150 for the evening. The only thing I would say is 50 people really isn't that many so if you have managed to make it to 50 including everyone who you want to be there then thats really great. 17 people for the wedding and wedding breakfast is nice, it'll make it really personal.

I can understand you guys don't want to argue about things, comprimise is the only option, it is YOUR wedding. Choose a number then slot the guest names in. WE did it like x factor...lol everybodies name on a piece of paper and the we placed them all on the floor and moved them about until we got our numbers.

Sorry I do ramble on......not sure that helps......but I do (and so many others will do too) understand exactly where you are coming from. Mine is down to money at the end of the day and the size of the venue.

x

P.S appropriately sorry for the long ramble reply ?

We have seriously struggled with our guest list as I worry so much about what other people think. I too have lots of aunties and uncles as does my partner and they mostly live away. Our problem they all have children (our cousins) who then some of which have children......see where I am going.......it's never ending. In the end we have decided to invite all aunties and uncles as traditionally (so my mum tells me) a wedding would involve aunties and uncles. We have then chosen some cousind who we are close too and all the others have been invited to the evening. I have stresed and stressed over the list, my OH doesn't get as emotionally invloved as I do!! All in all we have 70 for the day, hoping for 65 actual guests and the maximum for our venue of 150 for the evening. The only thing I would say is 50 people really isn't that many so if you have managed to make it to 50 including everyone who you want to be there then thats really great. 17 people for the wedding and wedding breakfast is nice, it'll make it really personal.

I can understand you guys don't want to argue about things, comprimise is the only option, it is YOUR wedding. Choose a number then slot the guest names in. WE did it like x factor...lol everybodies name on a piece of paper and the we placed them all on the floor and moved them about until we got our numbers.

Sorry I do ramble on......not sure that helps......but I do (and so many others will do too) understand exactly where you are coming from. Mine is down to money at the end of the day and the size of the venue.

x

P.S appropriately sorry for the long ramble reply ?

My H2B is an Aspie and sometimes it makes things hard because he builds a picture of something in his head and once he does that it's really hard to change it. He wanted a wedding of about 5 people, which was a complete no-no as just parents/step parents would be more than that. Anyway. We now have 50 day of family and about 5 friends, and more in the evening. I explained its easier to ' hide' amongst a big group as opposed to a small one.

Can you literally just go on numbers with him? He picks x people and you pick x people and if that has to be more your family than his, then so be it. How long is your wedding from now? Not everyone you invite may be able to come.

If you want more chat etc, send me a PM xx

Thanks for your replies, it just feels like im never going to get him to agree to 50 people, i cant see me getting 30 at this rate. But I shall try having a calming talk with him soon about it.

Mummymoo82, didnt think to paint the idea like that (being able to hide)so I will give it a go.... here goes! xx

Thank you guys for the advice! I did it

Weve agreed to 50people in the evening, we having a childless reception, and to replace the children were inviting a few more of his long term friends. So yes to my aunties and uncles, but not to their children,

well. Talking at does get you everywhere

Well done excitedbridetobe!!!

It's strange - it's meant to be the happiest day of your life but you end up having to compromise and worry about what other people think lol.

It looks like slowly slowly catchy monkey is the way to approach your wedding issues with H2B, I wish I could adopt the same approach with mine. I tend to crash in and announce what I have decided and he hides and squeals "whatever you want you crazy lady"

Keep us posted with updates (wins lol) xxx

That's great news

The guest list is always political, your parents think that every single family member, even down to your great aunt Mildred that you haven't seen since you were 4 should be there! Weddings have changed a lot since their day, they are a lot more expensive and friends are really the new family! My boyfriend had a rule that if we hadn't spoken to them in the last 6 months they're not coming, I agreed, it was telling our family that was the hard part. Just remember its your day not theirs, sometimes you have to be a bit selfish.