sort of o/t.....but i wish i was a stick! *rant alert*

Aw you sound really down - don't worry, you know that your H2b thinks your gorgeous and sometimes, we have to accept that might be enough.

You have a while to go before you wedding, and so some weight loss is possible, although it's clear excercise is an issue for you - can you walk OK? perhaps just upping the amount you work? Worked wonders for my stepmom, she's dropped from a 20 to a 12 between Jan 2009 and August 2009 slowly and steadily by watching what she eats and upping her walking (she was never going to be a running kind) and she looks fab now!

I have heard a few things about your previous marriage and IMO you may hate the photo of you because of how you were feeling when it was taken more than how you actually looked?! I know it happens to me, if i'm doing something I don't like, I'd think I looked awful! Hope that makes sense, or proves I am actually mad, either way....

? Not sure what to say, other than to offer up a hug.

I know how you feel about having one picture in your head and the reality often being really different. I too have to picture of a beautiful and slim bride that looks just like me in my head and that's how I'm pretty convinced I'll look..........until I get the reality check of looking in the mirror. I think I must have whatever the opposite of anorexia is!

<fluffy alert>However, every bride is beautiful. Because every bride glows with happiness on the day and she's every inch as special as she feels. You'll look beautiful on your wedding day, don't let the doubts creep in, you will. Fact. The key is confidence, and as long as you don't let the dark thoughts get to you, you'll have bags of it when you're all dressed up looking and feeling fabulous. You'll look fantastic, I know it!

I agree Minnie-Moocher!

You've made a lot of effort to get the right dress for you and i'm sure when you put it on, regardless of whether it's a size 8 or 28 you will feel amazing!

Firstly, congratulations on your weight loss, four and a half stone is a huge amount and you should feel proud of yourself.

Secondly, don't beat yourself up about your looks - I know I've only seen you in pictures, but you have nothing to worry about.

If you really do want to lose weight, is there a way you could go to see your doctor and see is they could give a diet plan or something that will work with your IBS?

Please don't beat yourself - from what you've told us about your ex you've come so far and have now met the man of your dreams.

((((hugs))))

thanks xx

GP has put me on a waiting list for a gastric band. I'm not over joyed, but will give it a go. I was given Orlistat meds (for weight loss) which worked but made me so ill and made the IBS 10 x worse. I would never touch it again. The 4 1/2 stone loss was due to weight watchers but it plateaued, and even the woman who took the class was puzzled as we tried everything, changing eating habits etc.

I don't actually over eat. I don't have a big appetite. I've had thyroid etc checked and everything is fine. Some of my aunties and my grandma on my dads side of the family were bigger so gp wonders if it's genetic?

However, whilst i'm on the waiting list for the op. you have to attend a 6 month support group before the op (thats what i'm on the waiting list for). Thing is, gp said (he was male btw) that it's fine to try for a baby AND have the gastric band. Which to me is a load of c**p as you more often than not have to take vitamin supplements and thats not good. so we're trying for a baby, but i don't want to get half way through this 6 month thing, find i'm pregnant, them say they can't do the op til after i have the baby and then find i have to then do ANOTHER 6 month course thingy.

It's so annoying. I could understand if i ate all the bad things, or over ate... but i don't. grrr

I really do understand how you feel, it was like reading my thoughts! (I have IBS (wheat & lactose intolerant) and PCOS and seriously struggle to lose as much as a pound, no matter what i do)

I feel so much thinner than I am when I look at myself. I've gotten to the point where I'm starting the cambridge diet at the weekend. I know I won't look hideous if i got married tomorrow looking like this but I'm feeling so down about it that I need to do something drastic and an operation petrifies me!

I hope you feel better in the morning and think of something positive about the wedding to put a smile back on your face and I do hope you can find some way of losing weight if you want but I'm sure your wedding will be the best day of your life, whether you are a stick wearing cling film dress or an elephant wearing a bin bag ?

?

Most people have no idea what us 'larger types' have to go through.

For larger brides out there, this is fabulous. I had this for my first wedding, whilst it didn't make you lose pounds....it smoothed everything out and the dress did fit beautifully....especially good for a post baby tummy like mine (i had a section and there's no hope in hell of that getting back to normal!)

i ordered this less than 3 weeks ago and have it already and it came from America. Fabulous. I don't care for sexy skimpy undies for the wedding day, i want a dress that looks nice and something to give extra confidence...and girls, this deffo does the job

http://www.sensationalshapewear.com/rago-shapewear-high-waist-long-leg-pantie-girdle-33384.html

Oh and for the record...i just had a royal rant at the H2B after my first rant post..... he laughed, told me not to be a silly cow and gave me massive cuddles and kisses. Then i was making tea (because salad takes so much work...not) but he came in, said you're gorgeous and i love you.....and that made for a smiley me xx

If there was a like button, I'd press it!

?

I have other similar ones before (Gok Wan's shiny thingymibob) but I find the top always rolls down on the bit under my bra. Does this one?

i am looking at getting this:

http://www.simplygokwan.co.uk/gok+wan+shaping+slip/divine+outline.html but can't decide?

The one that i provided the link for, the Rago one....i never had a problem with it when i wore it for my first wedding, it never budged!

I like the Gok Wan items, but i've found that the fabric is quite slippy...the Rago shapewear sits quite comfortably under clothing and doesn't move. I know it doesn't look as nice, but my god it does the job xx

Your OH speaks sense! And so does Mynnie. It is perfectly understandable and normal to let these things build up every so often but you will look gorgeous on the day - in fact I bet you look gorgeous right now.

Just on the gastric band front - I have no idea how it works if you're pregnant and then you have the band, but my friend did it the other way round. She had a band fitted and a few months afterwards she got pregnant (completely unplanned, she always thought she couldn't have kids but actually it turned out that it was just her weight affecting her fertility). Now she has a very cute 6 month old baby. She had to follow all sorts of diet advice while she was pregnant as I'm sure you can imagine but the only issue she had was that her bump was a bit lopsided due to all the internal organ shifting!

Tina thats very helpful information you gave on your friends pregnancy. I was rather doubtful if you could have a pregnancy and the gastric band in place etc. Good to know. I go for my first seminar in December. Just a 2 hours meeting for an assessment.

I've read that you can lose up to 10lbs a month with a gastric band....imagine that!

and as for looking gorgeous right now haha i wish....i'm run ragged with my 7 year old! lol though that doesn't seem to bother the OH lol xx

Yes my friend did lose a lot of weight very dramatically... she lost over half her body weight! I don't know the details of how her pregnancy was managed but I know she had to see a dietician and have extra scans, etc - although a lot of that was due to her being an older mum rather than because of the band. If it comes to it in the future I can ask her for more info if you need it. I'm not too far away from you (north Newcastle) so I would imagine you will be seeing similar medical peeps to her.

Ooh Tina i didn't realise you were so close! Yes that would be great. I'll keep you posted xx

I was just about to say something like that minicooper! I don't think there's a girl on this planet who doesn't have insecurities. Your OH obviously loves you and fancies you lots, Miss Understood! And he loves you for who you are. You will look stunning on your big day because you will have a gorgeous dress that suits you and you will be absolutely glowing from sheer happiness!! xx

Thank you.xx

Aahhh - see that's what it's all about. He loves you and knowing that is the best feeling in the world.

Congrats on the weight loss - that's a great achievement. I can only echo what everyone else has said - you will look fantastic on your wedding day because you're marrying the man you love x

i've also just realised how much this thread will clash with another recently added thread about thin bashing that someone else has put on :/

Hi

dont know if you have heard of it but I have been doing sure slim, really struggled to shift weight and they say that if you stick to it you will lose at least 10lbs a month, I have been doing it a couple of months and avaeraged a stone a month loss! there is an upfront cost to it but the food you eat is just your average supermarket stuff and you have a plan written for you based on the results of blood tests. Can be a bit faffy with all the weighing and measuring of food but it def works! x

Absolutely not directed at you Miss Understood ?

It's fine for people to aspire to be a different size, bigger or smaller, the majority of people would want to change something about themselves in one way or another. Including me!

PS. I am absolutely sure you will look amazing on your wedding day, your dress bouquet, and hair are all divine.

I'm still not sure I've worded this to sound right....?!

Theycallmelaura - you worded that fine. I just didn't want anyone to read my post and think there goes Miss.Understood pointing the finger at the thinner people. I used to be a size 12.... and all the way through college etc i was called fat then. Either way, whatever we do....we can't win.

It has got a bit ranty now hasn't it. Argh I just wanted to point one little thing out and it's all gone bl00dy mental haha

I have to say I know I thought geeessss!! its totally right people bloody make judgements about all shapes and sizes don they??? And its wrong either way, as I said on the thread I though what made us real men and women was what we had under our underwear lol not what size clothes we wore?? (trying make it lighthearted a bit lol)

And Miss.understood, As mini cooper said you will look gorgeous and beautiful on your big day!! the old wedding picture as you explained before was not a happy marriage so looking ath that photo probably brings all sorts of nighmares to the front of your mind!

You marrying a fab guy (by the sounds of it) and are truely happy, you lots a whopping 4.5 stone and will be glowing on the day, I cant wait to see your pictures and how gorgeous you gonna look FACT!

xx

actually...pretty much everyone. I'll be 29 in a couple of weeks, and i can still very easily cry at the taunting i got when i was younger.

Thing that really got me was when i was younger, well before my spinal injuries, i was a dancer for 13 years, supremely fit, a horse rider, a swimmer and a size 12. I never could figure it out. At all.

Children are cruel. Even if i'm out and about, shopping or whatever...if i hear people laughing or sniggering, there is always that instant thought of 'thats at me'. I guess i've been conditioned to it now :/

oh people are horrible! when i was out about 4 yrs ago was having a brilliant girlie night with my sister and friends, had treated myself to a new outfit and a guy walked over to me and said "you'd be a bit of alright if you lost a few pounds" I was only a size 10-12......I felt awful, went home feeling really upset-never wore the outfit again and stocked up on slimfast the next day..what a c*ck!!!

oh people are horrible! when i was out about 4 yrs ago was having a brilliant girlie night with my sister and friends, had treated myself to a new outfit and a guy walked over to me and said "you'd be a bit of alright if you lost a few pounds" I was only a size 10-12......I felt awful, went home feeling really upset-never wore the outfit again and stocked up on slimfast the next day..what a c*ck!!!

What a tw*t!! How dare he! My reply to him would be unprintable!

I would have kicked him....and then again, just because i could! how very dare he.

My reply did contain lots of swear words, reference to his v small d!ck and that i wouldnt touch with someone elses...among other things!

Lol awesome! i hope he soon turned tail!