speeches

The main purpose of the speeches really are the toasts to thank various people for different things (there's a section about them here on Hitched) - they don't have to be 30 minute long borefests.

Personally I think he's being rather selfish about the whole matter. Why is doing a short speech to thank people any more nervous than saying "I do" in front of the same people?

My Oh said from the start that he was dreading his speech, he is dyslexic and so didnt want to be stumbling over what he had written so I told him not to write anything and just keep it really short. His BM is not the most confident public speakers either, so again he has been told to keep it short and not worry. Both of them will be giving their speeches before the meal, literally right after we sit down. My dad who is an amazing speaker will then talk after the meal. This way OH and his BM get theirs out of the way. I dont think there is anything wrong with a bride doing a speech, I may well get up and say something dont know yet. As for what to say the whole point of your OH speaking is to thank everyone for coming, thank both sets of parents and then talk about how he loves you, thinks you look gorgeous and is so happy to have married you, I would be slightly miffed if my OH wouldnt say that in front of friends and family. So I personally would just do a grooms speech but talking about him.

Dreading doing a speech I can definitely understand - I'm certainly not listing it as one of my most looking-forward to bits of the day - but it's one of those things that you just "have to do" even if it's very short.

There's no reason the bride can't do a speech as well - but "instead of" the groom is certainly unusual, that's for sure.

But for him to just plain outright refuse to do any sort of speech - even a brief one like tins269 lists above - and to just sit silently on the day whilst everyone else does them, would probably be viewed as a bit odd by most of your guests there.

You say that he says if he has to do a speech it will "ruin his day" - but has he thought how it might affect yours (or the families) day by his making a fuss and refusing to do even a short speech of thanks?

Ultimately, it's something that the two of you really need to work out, and make sure that the rest of the top table party that are doing speeches understand what is (or isn't) happening.

Yes i am doing one, in fact we both are. Only seems right to both do it as we have two families :-)

I googled brides speaches and took a few pointers from each website i went on and then wrote my own thank yous and personal jokes etc. Its only about 3 mins long, but anymore and i reckon id have bored them to sleep.

Why not do what many couples do now... Do your speeches before your Wedding Breakfast! You can then relax, drink and be merry without any worries!

Some very nervious Grooms have even stood up, said thank you for everyone for coming, thanked the couples parents for all their help and ultimately thank you to his wife for having him. 2 minutes and they're done.

My OH, the BM and my godfather are doing a speach, none of them are showing any nerves at the moment so i think we are going to do them after the meal.

the night b4 the wedding the wedding party and family are staying in the venue and we are having dinner so i think i am going to say a few thing then. i tnd to get emotional so i'll do it before dinner! i am going to thank everyone for all their help and an advanced thanks for their help on the day and tell everyone to enjoy them selves. short and sweet but i will prob still end up in tears!!

I agree with some of the suggestions here why no do the speeches before the meal. He doesn't need to do a long how we met joke packed speech, a simple thank you to everyone for coming, thank the parents, and then ask everyone to raise their glasses to his beautiful wife is all thats really required. I do think if I went to a wedding and the groom said absolutely nothing I may find that a little strange, and possibly a little rude as he may not get time to go round and thank everyone personally for sharing your day. I have seen bride and grooms stand up together to give thanks to everyone, could that make him feel better??

I said this to him shall we do it before the wedding breakfast so it is over and done with but he wants them at the end of the meal! haha i'm sure that on the day he will get up and say thanks for coming to everyone at least and i think i will just keep mine short and sweet and not try and be funny as a sure il be the only one laughing!!! xx

I completely disagree with this comment! You don't 'have to do' anything! It's your wedding day. My OH is not the most confident of guys and is dreading the whole 'i do ' bit too and i'm sure if he could do it in a room with just me and him he probably would. If your OH doesn't want to give a speech then he doesn't have to.

I am a little disappointed that my OH isn't going to do one but i know i would be even more disappointed if his day was ruined because he was so nervous about his speech. We have agreed that we will get up together and thank everyone for coming and give out the bridal party gifts.