Stressed...this could turn into a rant - sorry!

This is totally normal.

Take a few deep breaths and relax. All of this can be fixed.

The band is annoying! We had the same problem and had to cancel on them in the end because they took yonks to respond to emails and kept changing the line up. We found a band 1 month before the wedding. Why are you giving up on the band if that's what you want? ask your friends/family if they had a band they would recommend. Or go online/post something on here for ideas.

What's the rsvp deadline? Ask your FFIL whether he can confirm if these guests will not be attending. Alternatively wait until the rsvp deadline. Send them an email/call and tell them they need to respond as you need final numbers. if you dont hear within x days you will assume they cannot make it.

Then upgrade others! We were still upgrading peeps the week before the wedding. It's no biggie!

Be prepared to pay for 40 meals though. The venue is unlikely to reduce the numbers at this late stage.

Nothing to worry about re the dress.

All is good - none of this is a huge problem. Take a break from planning this weekend! you sound super stressed.

Get your OH to help you out with the band. He is getting married too and can pull his weight. Get your friends involved etc.

Thanks Halloweeny, I know I am flapping; and I cant seem to stop myself. (Felt really sick to my stomach with it earlier.)

I am generally an ultra organised person and I think the band and the invites have bought out my OCD in me!

HTB and I had a chat about the pros and cons of getting another band and just thought a DJ would less stress - didnt realise they are called wedding entertainers now and do everything from lighting to fireworks now! We have a wekeend now if shifting through the 20 replies I got after putting a request into a website for DJ's! (I really didnt think this one through!)

I will speak to FFIL, if I need to do some 'upgrades' I need to do them quickly before the evening invites go out!

I took 2 months off of planning the wedding before christmas, just because I thought I had done everything I could and to focus on Christmas; now it is supposed to the nice things, dress, make up/hair trials etc.. I suppose this is what happens when you're too organised!

If it helps, I only stopped feeling stressed/worried and started swaying towards excited last week!

With people not responding - I invited my aunt and uncle who haven't bothered to respond at all. My aunt works with my mum so sees her 3 days a week and she hasn't said a peep to her. The other night on the phone my mum told me that the last time my uncle went to their house was MY CHRISTENING. Good grief.

Aaw hun, you seriously need to get your OH doing some of this, it's his wedding too and he should be helping. Xx

Breathe! all totally acceptable things to get stressed about.

Such a shame about your band but obviously wasn't meant to be and sounds like you've made the right choice, rather that than regretting paying for a band your not happy with.

With regards to your potential declines do you think it's something you could ask people about rather than waiting for them to RSVP? Maybe give them a wee call and tell them you've heard on the grapevine that they can't make it? And can they RSVP asap if that's the case to allow you to reassess your numbers? Did they give any indication when you sent save the dates that they couldn't make it?

Your dress will be gorgeous and will
Hopefully take some of your stresses away

Chin up chuck!

I know HTB needs to do some of this, he's done this before (twice!) and really hasnt got a clue to be honest! He's very laid back and doesnt mind whatever I suggest and if I ask him to do it - it generally comes back to me to do!

I invovle him in every conversation about all suppliers (he' even been along to the wedding fairs - and enjoyed the cake tasting the best!) but he just lets me get on with it, becuase he know I can - and it doesnt bother me generally. He's not like this with everything else its just the wedding!

I know the guests not replying is really going to get to me... I just need to be tough about it!

Thanks Pink 1986... All Save the dates went out in May last year and not one person has said that they will not be able to make it. I will be phoning people I think, its annouying as I put RSVP cards with pre-written envolopes and menu choice cards in all invites, all they have to do is tick a few boxes, put it in the envelope and post it!

I just think its rude!

My invites are going out around March and I can honestly say that receiving or not receiving replies is what I am looking forward to least!! I always respond straight away when I get one I don't get why other people can't do the same!!!

You can still upgrade evening guests after you've sent them their evening invite.

It's perhaps not 'the done thing', but who cares. Presumably you'll be upgrading close friends anyway and they'll be delighted. We had to do that because some of our guests were ill. All the evening upgraders were absolutely delighted.

I went to a wedding recently where a friend got upgraded from an evening guest to a full day guest the morning of the wedding as another guest had broken her leg. She was really happy about it!

I think you need to relax about things and just let it happen.

Choosing a DJ could be just as stressful as having a band. You could always get a friend to put together an ipod playlist and check it through before the day to see if its ok. Saves the stress of finding someone now.

I hope you are able to relax a little now. Your OH may have a point about not stressing out you know. It's difficult to do but none of these things really matter. Even if you have no DJ the world will not end!

Hi AprilBride15,

sorry to hear you're feeling stressed! With regards to the band, if you still want live music, I may be able to help! Where are you based? If you drop me an email detailing what kind of band you want and your budget, I can see if I can help - I've put together wedding bands with way less notice before!

Email me at ****************@*****.***

Dave

Halloweeny.. never thought about 'upgrading' after... just feels a bit wrong! I am going to address the situaiton this weekend - if the 9 dont come fine - have worked out who to upgrade. Anymore then I will have to think about it later. (hopefulyl there wont be anymore!)

As for the band... definately going with a DJ - let them take the stress. I am handing that side of it over to H2B tonight! This should be fun! He can take charge of it, he's into his music so will prpbably quiet enjoy it!

It doesnt seem so bad now, thanks everyone ?

Good for you hun

99 days - it is exciting now and I think it does get more scary as it's so just there now. I've just noticed we've gone to 2 something months from 3 - eeeek the time does fly and it can seem overwhelming. I've "encouraged" OH to get involved with the evening invitations - well to be fair he said he wanted to write the envelopes, I've done all the design and printing lol, but getting him to write the envelopes had been a push and then he keeps remembering other people aargh - but he's had a "that's it" message this afternoon - I think he gets it lol.

I was a plus 1 at a wedding recently with my darling daughter and OH was then an upgrade simply because of numbers. We were delighted that he was asked even if it was later in the day. Most people would not be offended to be upgraded so if you can - do it

Good luck. You will be fine.