Stupid things you did as a child

Waaah, riding cows. ?

This thread has been such a tonic. So, so funny!

Ooh another budding perfume maker here. I also used to make shampoo by mixing shampoos and make my mum test them on herself ? She always used to say not to put water in as it ruined it but I always did and shook it up as the bubbles/foam was so pretty. I used to make food out of flour and brown sauce, berries etc but noone ever tasted it for me. Wimps.

I did the not breathing a lying still pretending to be dead thing in the car too but noone noticed. I marked numbers in all of my books and made a library.

I also used to record myself singing onto a little tape recorder and pretend I was on the radio.

If I ever saw any police I used to hide in case they recognised me ?

I used to collect receipts from the ground at the local shop as evidence. For what I'm not sure.

I also trapped myself finger in the back door once and the bristly bit looked so soft I thought I'd see if it hurt when I closed my finger in it.

I got a hairbrush stuck in my hair once and refused to have my hair cut so walked around with a massive bushy tangled hair bit for about 6 months. Classy.

I got a massive pink (bike I think) helmet complete with huge white chin strap for one birthday and loved it so much I wouldn't take it off all day. My birthday is in the middle of the summer and used to tend to be on a scorching hot day so I have a few photos of me stuck in the middle of loads of girls in pretty dresses (including me) but my big helmet and bright red roasting face as the centrepiece.

I made 'fairy gardens' out of huge margerine tubs and mud and tin foil.

I wee'd into squeezy bottles and hid them behind the loo so I could wee standing up like a boy. My mum found them and rightly grounded me.

When on particularly boring day trips with my mother (e.g. to craft fairs, or big haberdashery departments), I would walk a couple of steps behind her and affect a dramatic limp with the hope of attracting sympathy from passersby.

LOL ? ?

I used to wear sunglases without the lenses and pretended I couldn't see very well...WHY!!!???

? My mum would have yanked it out., I think.

I got chewing gum stuck in my hair once. I wasn't allowed gum and so if I was ever chewing it (not often, I should add) when my mum came into room, I would take it out and put it behind my ear. ? This worked wonderfully until one day it got stuck in my hair. I was too scared to tell my mum (she was very strict) so I cut it out myself with the kitchen scissors. I really think I believed she wouldn't notice. She obviously did and how much do I wish she had just seen me chewing the gum in the first place? ? It would have been a lot better than having to admit to 1) chewing gum 2) hiding it from her by hiding it behind my ear and 3) cutting it out of my hair. I think I even tried the "I don't know how that got there" line.

I remember one Good Friday when I was about 8, I was at my grandparents and discovered I could get tiny balls of rolled up newspaper in and out of my ear (?!?!) easily. I even gave my Nana a demonstration. Well one piece got stuck and every spare minute on my own for the next two days was spent trying to get it out but it was obviously getting pushed further and further in, I think I thought I might die or something but didn't dare tell my mum. I went to the zoo with a family friend on Easter Monday and told him about it, he promised not to tell my mum. He did tell her and when she asked me if it was true, I said no and then said it had been an accident and I didn't mean it to happen. She went ape and took me to the hospital. I was soooo embarrassed. The doctor had to use these tweezer type things and got it out. When it was unrolled, it was a perfectly cut strip of stars from the top corner of a newspaper page but I still tried to say it had been an accident. ?

I can't believe I had forgotten about so much of this stuff!

My H decided that the best way to get rid of his sister's jacket (which he hated for some reason but she loved) was to set fire to it. Unfortunately it was hanging on the (wooden) bannisters at the time and the flames shot up the stairs.

Luckliy his parents were in so were able to intervene before the house burnt down. ?

Oooh I rolled up bits of tissue and stuck them up my nose thinking I need never blow my nose again but it got stuck and I can't even remember how it got back out again.

I cut my hair once with crayola safety scissors when my dad was supposed to be keeping an eye on me and it was just before my official playgroup photo. I had really long hair and my mum cried before taking me to the hairdressers to get it evened up into a bob ?

I used to count how long I took to pee. It had to be a full pee and I'd stop counting for little breaks. I think my longest was about 90 seconds ?

I had a "boyfriend" and when I heard of people being pregnant and they weren't married I wondered if god would make me pregnant with my boyfriend and how would I know?

One christmas I got a keyboard and used to make everyone (family, friends, random visitors) sit round while I played them a tune. I'd "secretly" press demo or a pre installed song and sit playing away at the keys pretending it was me and everyone would say how fab I was as I'd taught myself and I thought I was a genius ? The shame.

I also used to do the petal water.

My sister and I used to make 'drinks' for our brother - usually mixtures of salt, sauce, mustard, Oxo cubes etc with hot water over the top.

When I was about 10, my dad had a CB radio in his Landrover and I used to play with it for hours (unbelievable now!) My 'handle' was Indian Queen and I used to go onto channel 19 (the truckers' channel) and try to get a 'copy' using what I thought was a sexy voice.

We used to play on a building site near my auntie's house, they were building new houses there and we used to play in and around the construction works.

My friend and I used to have 'midnight feasts' in my wardrobe when she stayed over (wtf?!)

?

I just remembered that when i was really angry with my younger sister, i used to wipe my nose on her stuffed rabbit that she slept with every night. Yuck - it must have been covered!

I also used to make flower perfume, mud pies and grass bird nests.

Whenever it was bath night, once I had finished playing shop with the shampoo bottles and one of those accross the bath trays, I used to let all the water out and rub a bar of soap along the bottom of the bath and created my own water slide. I was told to stop when my dad fell in the shower because the bath was so slippy ?

Our next door neighbours used to have a huge kennel which would fit four 7 year olds very comfortably to play Star Wars. Poor dog had to sleep outside during the battle of the empire.

My cousins and I used to turn our gran's dining chairs upside down, sit in them and pretend to play Pigs in Space from the Muppets. The chairs were our seats in the rocket and the legs were how we steered.

I also did the petal water thing!

My brother and I used to make earrings (pat butcher style) for my mum to wear and bless he she did, even to the shops!!

I had a friend who lived over the road and we decided to give each other hair cuts with paper scissors, we cut each others fringes off so it was just a little tufted bit left, our mum’s went mad, needless to say I didn’t see her very much after that and mum would make me wear a balaclava in public until it grew back a bit!! Oh the shame!! ?

Perfume - Check

Fairy Gardens - Check

Pyro behaviour - Check, but I was given a small bit of our garden to be a pyro in, so that was fine.

I once pulled all the paper towels out of the dispenser in the girls toilets and had a mad 10 mins danicing crazily and throwing them in the air like they were £1 notes (it was the 70's), when it was mentioned that 'some SILLY LITTLE GIRL..' had done this it must have been so obvious it was me, I thought I'd vomit.

I used to pretend our house was a hotel and pin numbers to all the doors and invite my parents to eat at my restaurant.

Wrote a newspaer for our house.

Me and my friends would put long towels on our heads and walk round the village all day pretending we had really long hair.

Quite tame really.

I did petal perfume too

also we had garage sales (mostly of our toys), but never sold any as we lived on a quiet road and nobody walked past.

My neighbour and i used to dress up in these awful flowery dresses that her mum had as play things. We decided one day to dress their labrador in one. But did it at the top of the stairs! the poor dog in a hurry to get away, tripped over the dress she was wearing, fell all the way downstairs, and in a blind panic, managed to escape from the garden and run down the road, still wearing the dress?

I was watching 'why don't you' one school holidays and saw this kid who tumbled some rocks from his garden and made them look like gems, thought that I would give it a go by washing them in the bath. I couldn't understand why some of them were collapsing in my hand after a good soak, turned out i'd picked up some big rabbit droppings which were really old, oh how my parents laughed.

Once we went into an old bus depot which was falling down, found a huge bag of white powder convinced it was drugs made our parents come down to see what we had found (after a rollocking for being in there in the first place), and it turned out to be a bag of Persil.

Refusing to go into Superdrugs until I was 10 as I didn't want to go into a place who sold real drugs to people.

I could go on but it makes me sound like a right freak as a child.

Edited for bad spelling

When I was about 2 yrs old I used to get up in the night and put on all the lights in house and play with my toys. I was nicknamed 'creeping Jesus'. Nothing would occupy me and I was eventually diagnosed as hyperactive.

I was obsessed with checking the ladies loo's in any restaurant/pub/hotel we visited.

I mixed soil,grass,mud, weeds, dandylions in my blue plastic saucepans and kept them for weeks under outside stairs of our house. They stunk !

Dressed my rabbit up and wheeled her up and down the garden in my Silver Cross pram.

Made tents by pegging sheets onto my bedroom radiator.

Played libraries <check>

aged 5-8 I wanted to make mud pies, and knowing they were messy thought the bathroom was the best place to make them. So kept going to the garden, bringing soil upstairs and pouring it in to the bath. Was so so angry when my cousin grassed me up -grr.

I took photographs of all my ornaments. As I saw something on television about if you were burgled you had to proove the ornaments were yours and a photograph was the best proof. So I very badly took photographs of them all with numbers written next to them.

aged 10-11 I camped out in a tent in our front garden from April to September, I loved it, could hear the owls and foxes. Sometimes my pet cat would come into the tent.

I'd never had a pet before so I experimented on our cat, a few weeks after getting it, it was 10 weeks old. I swung it by its tail (I feel so bad about that now) I bathed it (didn't know you weren't meant to bath cats) and taught it to sit.

If the cat brought us a live mouse/vowl/bird I would put it in my slippers and feed it cat food. Until I felt it was alive again and I'd put it back outside- no doubt my cat would be waiting for it.

We had a large corner bath and during bath time I would pretend I was swimming or othertimes make it all slippy with bubby bath and slide down it or pretent it was an ice rink. My parents asked me to stop as I slipped badly and managed to knock 4 of my baby teeth out.

aged 7-10 Whilst cycling on my bike, I pretended I was on a tv show called "Bike Riders" and commented all the way through to the viewers. Or when I got bored of that I played tennis against our house wall and pretended I was a world class tennis player.

aged 12-14 I wrote my own Christian newspaper and sent it to my friends in the post, when I asked for the £5 subscription I was gutted when no-one accepted it.

The worst thing I did was my brother and I decided to stick our hubba bubba to the roof of my dads new car in an experiment to see if it would still be on there when we got to Devon (will live in Derbyshire). 6 hours later we arrive in Devon - the sun had melted the hubba bubba into a goo and the high speed of the motorway had made it go stringy. Put the two together and you get strings of chewing gum all over the roof of my dads new car. He was not impressed.

I can still remember a rhyme my best friend and I made up in middle school, inspired by her older siblings' stories about their 'hardcore parties' ? It is awful, I don't even know why I'm sharing it ?

Carrots and cannabis, ghastly ghanja

Maple syrup and marijuana

Ecstasy to feed the Pope

Es and whizz and speed and dope

Crack and crackers, morphine lipsticks

Grab your glue and snorkel Prit Stick*

Being a druggie keeps you tight

Hey presto, you are high as a kite!

*We did actually try this. It was rubbish.

Bounced around on space hoppers with my friend and pretended we were riding horses. We did jumps and everything!

Climbed onto the top of the wardrobe when I was about 7and told mum I could fly. Turns out the GP had prescribed me an overdose of amphetamines ?

Played with all my stffied toys and teddies etc - I used th throw them out of the bathroom window onto the lawn coz it was easier to get them downstairs that way. Then I'd play at hospitals and bandage them all up!

Reading this thread, I've just had a flashback to setting up my little pony jumps and making the hamster run over them. ?

Poor hammy ? (did it get a clear round?) ?

My sister made horse jumps in the garden out of canes and flower pots, and made me jump over them ?

No but then I doubt she could even see them ?

This thread has made me laugh. Me and my friend used to collect all the ladybird and caterpillers of the plants and then create an assult course for them to complete. Once we decided to recreate page 3 of the sun and so we drew a paid of boobs on a bit of paper and my friend put in her pocket and forgot about it till her mum went to wash her jacket and found the bit of paper and told her off opps? We also did talent shows and pretended to be the best singers when we couldn't sing a note. We also got baby dolls for christmas one year and prams and pushchairs i'd named my baby William after prince Willam and I was married to an airline pilot and my friend was married to a popstar, we used to walk around the estate pretending to be grownups. We did the rose petals in a yogurt pot with water and then some weeks later would find all the rose petals mouldy not smelling very nice at all.

I have just laughed out loud at work at that, had to pretend that I was coughing, poor dog ?

I set up jumps with drying-line poles and deckchairs and 'rode' my sister over them ?

Oh god, i just remembered the time my sister and I were so desperate for my uncle and his girlfriend to get married (so we could be flowergirls of course) that we typed up a letter on my dad's typewriter saying:

'I love you, Joan. Sorry it's taken me so long to get round to asking. Please marry me? Love Peter'

and gave it to her rather nonchalantly saying 'Oh, Uncle Peter asked us to give you this' while he was out picking up a pizza. He was most bemused on his return...

Are you related to these boys?

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/8014562.stm

These are hilarious.... a few of mine are

1) I wouldn't sit in the dentist chair until I was about 10 - luckily the dentist was a family friend so would quite happily crawl under the table in the surgery where I was hiding to examine my teeth

2) Once I told my little brother very knowledgably that if you were too bad for Heaven but too good for Hell then you got sent to "Pervertry" - I couldn't work out why my parents and godparents who were in the next room started falling about with laughter

My dad was taking an old shed apart and went inside to get something. I decided that I could stand on the tip of a nail sticking out of a plank and spin around......ouch. I ended up in casualty.

I dont actually remember this, my mum reminds me of it now and then though. I was about 4 and my sister was about 3 and my parents had an estate agent round to value the house. Both of us must have taken a dislike to him as aparently we just looked at each other and without saying a word tied him up with a skipping rope and locked him in the toilet! My mum says all she could hear was 'um could you let me out now please' in a sad pathetic voice, she doesnt know how she managed to keep a straight face!